Dear Elena
by Zesty Bod
Summary: Dear Elena, Please don't hate me. Please know that I never meant for this happen. I was only supposed to look out for him, to make sure that there was something left for you when you wake up. But I messed up. I did the one thing I didn't want to do. I fell in love with Damon...and I think he might love me, too.
1. Prologue

**PROLOGUE**

When Elena awoke from her coma-like state, it was like waking up from a long dreamless sleep. She slowly opened her eyes and panicked briefly when she was met with complete darkness. It took a minute for her to get her bearings, but then the memories started flooding in. She remembered all the goodbyes from her friends, and she remembered the fact that her life was tied to Bonnie's. She knew that waking up meant that Bonnie was dead, and as happy as she was to be awake, she was equally sad that it meant her best friend had died. She took a moment to grieve for Bonnie, then finally pushed the top of the coffin up.

She wasn't sure what she should have expected, but disappointment flooded her when she saw that she was alone in the Salvatore crypt. There was nobody there to welcome her, no notes, no flowers, no coming home party. She rationalized that her awakening had been precipitated by Bonnie's death, and everyone was probably mourning at her bedside. With that in mind, Elena slowly lifted herself out of the coffin, allowing her muscles to wake up after so much sleep. She wondered exactly how long she had been in the coma. There was nothing in or around the crypt to give her any indication of what year it was. Instinctively, she reached for the cell phone that was still tucked into the pocket of her jeans. But she laughed at herself when tried to turn it on and the battery was dead.

 _Duh, Elena_ , she thought.

She ventured out of the crypt and was happy to see that it was light outside so she didn't have to navigate in the dark. She was also happy to see that the woods hadn't changed, and she knew exactly how to get back to the main part of town. A thirty-minute trek led her to downtown Mystic Falls, and once she was on the sidewalk, she stopped. Her eyes widened at how different but the same her hometown looked. It still had that quaint feel to it, but it was almost as if everything had been torn down and rebuilt to look old. The cars parked on the sides of the street looked more sleek and futuristic. There were moving sidewalks where people glided past shops and stores without walking.

Elena's eyes widened as she took in everything around her. She got onto one of the moving sidewalks and let it take her down the familiar Main Street. She tried to spot a newspaper stand or something else that could orient her to the time, but they were all gone. She thought about asking someone but she didn't want to sound crazy. Thankfully, she spotted an electronic billboard hanging in the middle of the square. The date scrolled by almost immediately.

May 14, 2033.

Twenty years. She had been asleep for twenty years, to the day. One part of her was happy that she hadn't missed more time, and the other part of her was sad. Had Bonnie really only lived twenty years? She was thinking about that so much that she missed the chance to step off the sidewalk and she tripped. She ran right into a body and immediately apologized.

"I'm so sorry," she started, but then she stopped when the person held her up and her eyes locked with a pair of heartbreakingly familiar blue eyes. Tears sprang up and her voice quivered when she said, "Matt?"

Matt Donovan, clad in a police officer's uniform, stared back at her, looking just as shocked as she felt. He was still handsome but she was momentarily stunned by how much he had aged, even though she knew twenty years had passed. His blonde hair was still short but there were some flecks of gray sprinkled throughout. The laugh and frown lines on his face had started to wrinkle and he had a goatee, which gave him the rugged look of a man in his forties.

His forties. Good Lord.

His muscular body still had a nice shape, but she could tell that his middle was turning a little doughy. Her eyes caught the silver band on his left ring finger, and it hit her like a train that he was married. She had missed so much.

"Elena?" he asked.

The two of them embraced, arms wrapped tightly around each other, as Elena couldn't help crying.

"Oh my God, I thought I would never see you again," she said.

"Me either," he said, pulling away to make sure it was her. He smiled and shook his head. "How is this possible?"

"Well, my life was tied to Bonnie's, so I assume that she passed away." Matt gave her a crazy look and her heart lifted. "She...didn't?"

"I just talked to Bonnie about three minutes ago. So unless something outrageous happened in that time, no she didn't die."

Relief washed over her, but so did confusion.

"Then how am I here?"

"I don't know, but I'm glad you are," Matt said, pulling her into another hug. She returned his hard hug and they pulled themselves out of the way of other passersby.

"Where is everyone?" she asked. "Are they all still here? Caroline? Stefan? Bonnie? Damon?"

Matt hesitated in his response but nodded slowly. "Yeah, yeah, I mean for the most part. Caroline and Stefan travel a lot but they always come back home. Bonnie's here. Damon's here."

Elena's mouth was nearly bursting at the seams with the wideness of her smile.

"I want to see them," she said. "Bonnie and Damon. I need to see them."

He got that look on his face that hadn't changed in twenty years. The telltale crumpling of his forehead and mouth told her that he had bad news, but he didn't know how to break it to her.

"Matt?" she asked quietly. "Are they okay? You said Bonnie's still alive, right? Is Damon okay?"

"They're okay," he said. "It's just..." He shook his head. "I don't think any of us expected to see you again."

"Okay," she said tentatively. "What are you trying to say?"

He sighed. "I'm trying to say that people have moved on. Damon, he...he's with someone."

It took a moment for that reality to set in, and when it did, hurt and disappointment seeped into every pore of Elena's body. She knew, rationally, that Damon would probably move on. She had told him to be happy without her. But somehow, she had this part of her that believed he would wait for her, no matter how long it took. He'd waited for Katherine like a lost dog, but in twenty years, he'd moved on from her. She wanted to be upset, but she knew it wasn't fair. He had the right to be happy.

"I want to see him," she said weakly. "And Bonnie. And everyone else. Even if they've forgotten me."

"Nobody forgot you," Matt promised, giving her a reassuring arm rub. "I just don't want you to be shocked when you see for yourself."

Elena nodded and wiped some tears. "Can you take me to him?"

"Yeah. I'll give you a ride."

Matt led her to a sleek black police car that looked more like a luxury vehicle than a patrol unit. Matt opened the door for her and she slid inside. The leather seat felt like a reclining chair and the inside was so technologically advanced that Elena had no idea what all the little blue buttons and screens were for. Matt got into the driver's side and began the familiar ride to the boarding house. Elena's heart was beating out of her chest, anxious to see Damon and even more anxious to see that he was with someone else.

"So you're married," she said, wanting to get her mind off Damon.

Matt smiled and nodded. "Yep. Seventeen years."

"Oh my God," she said with a smile. "Who's the lucky lady?"

"Sarah Salvatore, actually." He laughed to himself. "I guess I just can't get away from that crazy ass family."

"Do you guys have kids?"

"Three."

Elena couldn't help but laugh. Her sweet first love, Matt Donovan, was grown and married. With kids. It was unreal.

They talked about his children, all sons, on the way to the boarding house. Sarah was an art professor at Whitmore and they were living a comfortably, happy life. They both got quiet as they pulled up to the Salvatore mansion, which Elena was relieved to see looked exactly the same, at least on the outside.

"You want me to go inside with you?" Matt asked.

"No, I'll be okay. Thanks for dropping me off."

"If you need me, let me know."

Elena promised that she would, then she got out of the car and took a moment to gather herself before walking to the front door. She opened it, not surprised that Damon and Stefan still didn't lock the door. She cautiously stepped inside and saw that the inside of the house looked quite different. The traditional decor had been replaced by modern furnishings that made the place feel more like a home and less like a museum. Elena wondered into the living room, where a huge flat-screen TV was hanging over the fireplace and video game paraphernalia was scattered about. Some picture frames caught Elena's eye, but before she could inspect the pictures, she heard a familiar voice coming from the kitchen.

Bonnie.

A grin overtook her and she nearly ran to the kitchen. She was about to announce her presence, but she stopped when she saw the scene before her. Bonnie was there, looking like she hadn't aged a day over 30 even though she was 41 years old. The short hair that Elena remembered had grown into long hair, currently gathered into a bun on top of Bonnie's head. Although she looked young and vibrant, she had obviously matured. Her body was curvier. She wore glasses and a skirt suit that made her look like a grown professional.

But it wasn't Bonnie that stopped Elena in her tracks. It was the young girl sitting across the table from Bonnie. The girl that looked like a carbon copy of Bonnie Bennett, save that she was a little lighter and her hair was a thick mane of springy curls. But the girl had the same off-center mouth, the same straight nose, and the same fiery determination in her eyes as she asked Bonnie why she couldn't date a boy from her class. Elena hid behind a wall so she could hear the conversation without being seen.

"Because," Bonnie said calmly, "you're fourteen years old and you're not old enough to date. We've talked about this, Raven."

"But he's really nice and smart! He's in the chess club and he's going to be the class president."

"It's not that I don't think he's nice, sweetie. It's that you're too young to get involved with boys right now. You need to be focused on school and getting good grades. Boys will come later. I promise."

"Ugh, Mom! You're so unfair!"

Elena had already connected the dots that the girl was Bonnie's daughter, but to hear the word "mom" come out of her mouth made the whole situation real. And unbelievable. And amazing. And Elena's immediate thought was, "who's the father?"

"I know you think I'm being unfair," Bonnie said, never raising her voice, "but I'm sorry, dating is out of the question."

"You dated before you were sixteen!" Raven told her.

"You're right, I did. And you know why? My mom ran away before I could even know her, my father was always out of town, and my grandmother, as wonderful as she was and as much as I loved her, was usually drunk. I had nobody supervising me. Fortunately or unfortunately, you have two active, present parents who love you and we're not going to let you get into some romance drama while you're still in middle school. End of discussion."

"Mom," Raven groaned. "Everyone else in my class has a boyfriend. I'm the only loser who doesn't. You don't know what that's like."

"Oh, honey, yes I do," Bonnie said, reaching over the table to touch her daughter's face. "Almost the entire time I was growing up, I was the only one of my friends who didn't have a boyfriend. I know exactly what that feels like, and I promise you, your time will come. You'll meet someone wonderful when you're old enough to understand what love really means, and you'll look back on this conversation and laugh."

Raven groaned and sighed, but appeared to relent.

"Fine," she said. "I'll just be the only boyfriend-less girl in the whole school. Everyone will probably think I'm a lesbian."

Bonnie smiled and went to the kitchen.

"There's nothing wrong with being a lesbian," she said. "Your father would probably prefer that, actually. He thinks all teenage boys are evil and..."

"Only after one thing," they said at the same time, which made both of them laugh.

"Go do your homework," Bonnie said. "And then we'll work on your magic and talk more about boys."

Raven sighed again, but followed her mom's instructions. She blurred out of the room at lightning speed, and Elena's mouth fell open. Raven was obviously a vampire, but Bonnie had said they would work on her magic. She was a witchpire? But that would mean her dad was a vampire. Or Bonnie herself had become a witchpire. Elena was still trying to figure out what it all meant when Damon strolled into the kitchen from the other side of the house. He looked exactly the same as he had the day she went into the coma. Her heart stopped and she ached to run to him, throw her arms around him and spend the next several days making up for lost time.

"Hey," he said with a small smile in Bonnie's direction.

She turned from pouring some juice into a glass, and she smiled, too.

"Hey, yourself."

"Where are the kids?" he asked.

"Cooper is probably up in his room. Raven just went to do her homework. We were having a little discussion about why she can't date right now."

"Because those shitty little boys are only after one thing," Damon said immediately.

Bonnie laughed and nodded. "Yeah, she knows how you feel about it."

Damon nodded and began to stalk his way towards Bonnie.

"So, we're alone, then?" he asked.

She took a slow sip of her juice, then licked her lips in a way that Elena could only describe as seductive.

"For now," she said.

"Mm hm. Then I suppose we should make the most of it."

"What did you have in mind?"

He crowded Bonnie's personal space, put her glass on the marble countertop, and then picked her up and placed her on the counter as well. He settled into between her legs and Bonnie shoved her fingers into his hair.

"I personally always wanted three kids. Maybe we could start working on the next one."

Elena blinked several times as the reality of the situation settled in on her. The truth of it was staring her in the face, but she couldn't make the connection in her mind. Her brain wouldn't let her accept what she already knew was true. But then Damon made her accept it, when he attacked Bonnie's mouth with his, and Bonnie responded in kind. They made out noisily on the kitchen counter, like a new couple and not like two people who had been together at least long enough to produce two children.

Questions spun around Elena's head. How had all of this happened? How had Bonnie and Damon been able to have children? How long had they been together? She didn't know whether to cry or scream when Damon's hand slid up Bonnie's skirt. She nearly ran out of the house, until a boy appeared out of thin air, hunched over the kitchen counter, playing a handheld video game.

"Gross," he said in a bored tone. His appearance made Bonnie yelp and she bit Damon's tongue, who also yelped and turned around with an annoyed expression. "You two should get a room."

"Damn it, Cooper!" Damon said. "What have I told you about cloaking yourself and sneaking around like that?"

"Uh, not to do it?" Cooper asked with a devious smile.

"Get out of here. Go do your homework."

"Already done."

"Then go find something else to do while I mack on your mother, please," Damon said through gritted teeth.

Cooper, who looked like the perfect, devastatingly handsome teenaged combination of Bonnie and Damon, shrugged just like Damon always did.

"Whatever." He smiled at Bonnie and said, "hey, mom."

"Hi, sweetie," she said with a motherly smile.

"Good luck, Dad," he said with a wink. "Try to keep it down this time."

He strolled out of the kitchen and Damon turned to Bonnie and said, "if I didn't love him, I'd kill him."

"Now you know how I feel about you most of the time."

Damon harumphed and resumed his place in between her legs. "Now where were we?"

They went right back to tonguing each other down and Elena was torn between leaving them to their devices and announcing her presence. She had to know what was going on, how it happened, what to do. So, unsure of exactly how to interrupt the moment, she stepped into the kitchen.

"Maybe you two _should_ get a room," she said, hoping that her voice sounded light and joke-y.

The two of them immediately broke apart and they had identical expressions of shock on their faces.

"Elena?" Bonnie asked, her mouth nearly touching the floor. "What...how...?"

"It's good to see you, too, Bon."

Bonnie pushed herself off the counter and ran to Elena. Even with all the weirdness and uncertainty of the situation, the two girls embraced and cried like it had been twenty years. When Bonnie pulled away, she grabbed Elena's face and shook her head.

"How are you here?" she asked.

"I don't know," Elena answered through tears. "But I am. And so are you. And I have a feeling we have some catching up to do."

It only seemed to dawn on Bonnie at that moment that they had to talk about Damon, and both of them turned to look at him. He hadn't moved from his spot and he wore a confused, pained expression. Elena knew him well enough to know that he had no idea how to greet her or what to say, and she felt the same.

"Yeah, I think we do," Bonnie said.

The next few hours, Bonnie did everything she could to get Elena settled in and comfortable. She made up a room for her, found some clothes that might fit, and talked to her about everything except Damon while she made dinner. Elena sat down with the family and was introduced to Raven and Cooper, who were delightful and polite and happy to meet their Aunt Elena that Bonnie talked about so much. Damon said nothing but he did offer her some small smiles a few times. Her heart warmed, then crashed into her stomach every time he looked at Bonnie with such love in his eyes.

As night fell and everyone got ready for bed, Bonnie went with Elena to her room for the night. The two girls sat on the bed and Elena waited patiently for Bonnie to gather her thoughts.

"I know I've been avoiding the pink elephant in the room all day," she said with an apologetic smile. "Honestly, I'm just not sure what to say."

"I'm not mad," Elena told her. "I can't even say I'm surprised."

"You're not?"

"Bonnie, I saw that you and Damon had something between you way before I left. He was different after he got back from the prison world. You were different. You two talked to each other about things that he could never talk about with me. I kind of thought you might find your way to each other. I just didn't think I would be alive to see it."

Bonnie nodded slowly. "I'm sure you have a lot of questions."

"Just a few," she said, and they both smiled.

"Hold on," Bonnie said.

She disappeared for a few minutes, then returned with a large box full of little leather-bound books. Bonnie looked through them and then pulled one out that Elena recognized.

"The journal," Elena said.

"I wrote it all down," Bonnie told her. "Everything had happened while you were gone. Everything about Stefan and Caroline and Mystic Falls and..." She nodded her head a few times and waved her hand like she didn't want to say it.

"How you and Damon fell in love," Elena concluded, trying to fight off the hurt.

"Yeah. I think if you read it from the beginning, you'll understand. And I know you told us both to be happy and move on, but I would understand if you were mad at me. Or hurt. Or betrayed."

"I'm not any of those things," Elena promised. "I mean, yeah I'm surprised but at the same time, I'm not. I want to be mad, but how can I be? You're supposed to live your life. I'm glad that you're happy and you have a beautiful family. I think maybe I just need some time to get used to it."

Bonnie handed her the first journal. "Read these."

Elena opened her arms for a hug, just so Bonnie was absolutely sure that she wasn't mad at her, and after the embrace, Bonnie left her in the room alone and closed the door. Elena looked at the journal in her hands and took a deep breath before she opened to the first page.

 _June 1, 2013_

 _Dear Elena..._


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

 _June 1, 2013_

 _Dear Elena,_

 _It's been 18 days since we said our goodbyes to you. It's hard to believe. A part of me keeps expecting to see you walk through the door and we'll just chalk this up to another crazy chapter in our increasingly crazy lives. I'm sorry that this happened to you. I miss you. We all do._

 _I guess I should catch you up on what's happened in the past two weeks. Ric is not doing well. Not surprising. He's been hitting the bottle pretty hard. I don't think there's any liquor left in Mystic Falls. We're all worried about him, but nobody wants to say anything. It's not our place to tell him how to grieve. He really hasn't left Jo's house, other than to buy booze. We check on him, though...me, Caroline and Stefan. Stefan goes by a couple of times a day, just to make sure he can still hear a heartbeat on the other side of the door._

 _Speaking of Stefan, things between him and Caroline are awkward. He comes over a lot but Caroline always tries to avoid him. He likes her so much, it's kind of pathetic. But you know Care. She's punishing herself. As much as she wants to be with him, she thinks she'll make up for all the bad things she did if she doesn't let herself have him. She won't listen to what I have to say on the matter. She just tries to distract herself with other things, like decorating our apartment._

 _Oh yeah, we moved into an apartment. We left the dorm room, mostly because looking at your empty bed is too sad. We moved off-campus. I'm taking summer classes and Care is, too. I think she's just doing it so I don't feel lonely._

 _Matt's good. He's doing well in his police training. He's still working hours at the Grill, though. I check on him a lot because he always looks so tired. I just want to hug him and tell him it'll be okay. He misses you._

 _I'm sure you want to know about Damon. I wish I could tell you about him. He left town the day after we put you in the crypt. I call and text him every day, but he never responds. But I want you to know that I'm going to look out for him. I'm going to take care of him for you. I'm not going to let him spiral out of control and be his usual stupid self. He's in Arkansas right now. Random. I know because I did a locator spell on him. I'm going to give him some time to grieve you, to get himself together, and then I'll make him come home._

 _It's been quiet around here. Too quiet, if you ask me. When's the last time we went two weeks without some kind of supernatural freak show? I don't know what's coming, but I can feel it in my bones. My "witchy senses are tingling," as Damon would say. God, he's annoying. Is it weird that I miss him? He's like that irritating brother that pokes you in the back of the head all the time and makes you want to strangle him, but then when he stops, you miss it? I was obviously in that prison world for too long._

 _Anyway, I'll write again soon. Maybe not every day. That would be boring. You don't want to read about me and Caroline eating Cap'N Crunch and watching Spongebob, do you? I can see you smiling at that._

 _Love you._

 _Bon_

 **...**

Damon lay on his back, arms and legs spread out and resting against the pavement. He had been in that position for forty-five minutes and not a single car had gone by. That was okay, though. The waiting only made it more exciting. He stared into the black sky, listening to the sounds of crickets and other creatures as they moved throughout the forest. Arkansas was the perfect place for this, really. It was rural and mountainous and he could blame all his kills on wild animals.

It's what he had been doing for the past two and a half weeks.

He closed his eyes, content to take a nap on the highway, when he heard the sound of a car about a mile away. A small smile came across his lips and he waited with seasoned patience as the car got closer and closer, then screeched to a halt when the driver saw him. Damon heard the front door of the car open, and a man spoke.

"Hey, man, are you all right?" the guy asked.

"Help me," Damon said in his weakest voice. "I'm dying."

The man rushed to his side and as soon as he bent down to help, Damon sprang up and grabbed him. He pushed the guy into the front of his truck and grinned.

"Well, actually, I'm already dead."

"What the hell?" the guy asked.

Damon focused his attention on him and compelled him with, "don't run. Don't scream. You're going to stand here until I tell you otherwise. Understood?"

The man nodded slowly and Damon released him, satisfied when he didn't move.

"You have no idea how long I've been waiting here," he said. "And I thought the roads in Mystic Falls were deserted."

"Are you gonna kill me?" the guy asked, his eyes wide with fear.

"I haven't decided yet," Damon said with a shrug. "What's your name?"

"Joseph."

"Joseph. Joseph. I like that name. I had a friend named Joseph once. Back when I was human."

"When...you were human?"

"Oh yeah, sorry, I'm a vampire. Did I forget to mention that?"

Joseph blinked several times. "You're gonna suck my blood?"

"Well, duh. I wasn't just laying out here for my health, Joe." Damon thought for a minute and then shook his head. "Jo. That was my friend's wife's name. Well, kind of his wife. I don't even know if they had said the I Do's before she got stabbed to death and she died along with their twins. It's been a bad year for Jos. You know who else it's been a bad year for, Joseph? Me. You want to know why?"

Joseph hesitated.

"Just nod and this will be a lot less painful," Damon said. Joseph nodded. "Well, first of all, I was stuck with a prison world with a judgey little witch. Then I got out of that prison world and went back home, only to learn that my girlfriend had erased me from her memory. And I felt guilty about leaving said judgey little witch behind. And then once everyone was back home and happy, Kai's crazy ass had to tie their lives together and I could only pick one, Joseph!" he screamed. "Elena or Bonnie. That was my choice."

He sighed and sat down.

Joseph hesitated again and then asked, "so who did you pick?"

"Bonnie," he said with a laugh. "Bonnie freaking Bennett. And I didn't have to, you know. I could have let her die right there on the floor. Nobody would have known. I could have told them that she was already dead when I got there and it was too late. They would have believed me. She's already died like ten times, they're used to it by now."

He rested his back on the ground again and looked up at the sky.

"But I didn't. I couldn't. She's too...good, you know? I tricked her, though. I let her think I was leaving her and the look she gave me..." Damon chuckled. "She'd be so mad if she knew what I was doing out here. 'Damon, you know better,'" he said in a high-pitched voice. "'Damon, you just can't go around killing people, blah, blah, blah.'"

"Who's Bonnie again?"

Damon groaned. "Haven't you been listening? She's my friend. The friend whose life is tied to Elena's and as long as she's alive, Elena's in a coma. You with me?" Joseph nodded. "Elena will wake up whenever Bonnie dies, but who knows how long that will be. Bonnie's a witch. Some of them live as long as vampires with all their spells and hocus pocus. And even if Bonnie just lived a regular old human-length life, who's to say that I will? I've got a lot of enemies out there, Joseph. One of these days, one of them is going to drive a stake through my heart and I'll never see Elena again."

He looked at Joseph expectantly, who blinked and then asked, "what does this have to do with you killing me?"

Damon sighed and hopped up again. "I have very poor coping skills. When my feelings are hurt, I lash out and do bad things. It makes it easier to share the pain with other people." He took Joseph's baseball hat off and put it on his head. "You got a girlfriend, Joseph? Or a boyfriend. Not judging."

"A girlfriend."

"What's her name?"

"Samantha."

"Samantha," Damon said wistfully. "You gonna marry her?"

"I want to."

"Have some cute little babies? A picket fence? A golden retriever?"

"I'd like that."

"How do you think Samantha would feel if they found your body decomposing on this highway?"

Joseph's eyes became fearful again and Damon could tell that he wanted to run, but the compulsion kept him in place.

"Look, man, please don't kill me," he begged. "I'll give you anything you want. You can have my truck. I've got some money in my wallet."

"I don't need trucks or wallets," Damon said, patting him on the shoulder. "I need to share my misery. Now hold still because I'm going to feed from you, and I'll try my best not to kill you."

Joseph's eyes widened to the size of saucers but he couldn't scream when Damon's face became a mess of veins and his fangs elongated. He ripped into Joseph's neck and drank every ounce of blood, not stopping even when he knew the man was dead. He dropped his lifeless body onto the ground, wiped the back of his mouth, and said "oops." He took the hat off, tossed it onto the body, and then hopped into the truck and drove away.

He kept driving through the mountains and towards more developed areas. He dumped the truck at the city limits of Little Rock, the capitol, and then he ran into town. He navigated until he found a hotel and compelled himself into a room. Once he went inside, he stripped his clothes off and showered, scrubbing of all the sins of the day. He wrapped a towel around his waist and spread his body out on the bed, staring at the ceiling and trying to fight off the guilt he felt. His thoughts were interrupted when his phone rang. He didn't have to look at it to know that it was Bonnie. He let it ring a few times, then after a minute or so, he got a voicemail alert. The witch was persistent; he had to give her that much.

Damon pulled his pants off the floor and fished through his pockets for the phone. He slid his finger across the screen to unlock it, then he lay on his back again as her voice filled the silence in the room.

"Hey," she said. "It's me. Calling you. Again. You can avoid me all you want, but I'm not gonna stop calling and checking on you. I hope you're not doing anything stupid, like killing people and throwing their bodies in the woods. Please don't be that cliche."

He smirked.

"Listen, Damon, I know you're upset. I know you miss Elena, and I know you probably partially blame me for that. But you're better than you used to be. You're different, so please don't go back to that place where you lash out because your feelings are hurt."

She sighed like she already knew he was making poor decisions.

"Something's about to happen," she said, in a tone that was much more serious than before. "I don't know what. I don't know when. But it's coming. I can feel it. We need you here. We need everyone here so we can fight. That's what we do, remember? You're not gonna leave me to do it all by myself, are you?"

Damon turned his head to look at the phone as she continued.

"I'm giving you until Elena's birthday to get yourself together. That's two months. Two months to do whatever the hell it is you're doing, then you need to come home. And if you don't, I'll come get you. I know where you are, by the way. Arkansas, really?"

"Let me guess, a locator spell," he said.

"Yes, I did a locator spell," she said, like she was responding to him. "And if I have to get on a plane and drag you home by your hair, that's what I'll do. You could at least call me and let me know you're okay. I'm worried about you. And despite everything, I might miss you a little bit."

His lips curled into a real smile.

"Two months, Damon."

The voicemail ended and he stared at the ceiling. He had two months before his little witch came calling. Time to make the most of it.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

 _August 8, 2013_

 _Dear Elena,_

 _Happy birthday. I wish you were to celebrate with us. I wish we were taking shots, getting really drunk, and making poor life decisions that we could laugh about later._

 _Nothing much has changed since the last time I wrote. I'm sorry it's been a while...I'm still getting used to keeping a diary. How did you do this for so long? I guess I'll get used to it. It's kind of nice to write down my thoughts. It helps me sort it all out and makes it feel like you're here._

 _Anyway, back to what's happening around here. Nothing much. It's still quiet and peaceful, which only makes me more anxious about when the other shoe's going to drop. Isn't that terrible? I should be sleeping in late, cramming for tests and drinking with my friends, not worrying about the next apocalypse._

 _Okay, okay, for real, back to the topic. Ric's still alive. Barely. I saw him for the first time yesterday. He looks like an alcoholic mountain man, complete with a really bushy beard and a beer belly. These two months have been unkind to him. He won't speak to anybody, but at least he's okay._

 _Caroline has been letting Stefan come around a little more lately. He "swings by" just to "say hi" every day and she purposely puts off her errands so she can accidentally be there when he comes. Then they talk and act all cute but never do anything. I just want to smush their faces together and tell them to get on with it!_

 _Damon's still not back home. I gave him a deadline to come back. Today, actually. Since he's not here, I'm about to book my flight to Las Vegas to bring him home. Who knows what kind of trouble he's gotten into out there? I seriously don't want to know. I just hope he doesn't give me a hard time._

 _We both know he will._

 _I'll let you know how it goes._

 _\- Bon_

"Whatcha doing?" Matt asked, just as Bonnie closed the diary and put the cap on her pen. "Writing to Elena again?"

"Yep," she said with a smile. "Updating her on our surprisingly boring lives."

"You know that won't last long," he said.

He put his tray of plates on an empty table and slid into the booth, sitting opposite Bonnie. He stretched his arms and looked around the Mystic Grill, which was full of customers.

"You'd think people would get tired of coming in here," he said with a sigh. "What's going on with you?"

"Nothing. Heading out to Las Vegas tomorrow."

"Vegas?" he asked, his blue eyes brightening. "Why?"

"I'm collecting Damon," she said with an eye roll. "I told him to be back home by today or I was coming to get him. Of course, he's not here."

Matt nodded and slumped in his seat and looked at the ceiling. "Man, I'd kill to go to Vegas, even if it was just to get Damon. You know I haven't left the state of Virginia since that crazy summer with Rebekah?"

Bonnie thought for a second, and then asked, "well, do you want to come with me?"

He lowered his head at her and looked disbelievingly. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, why not?" she asked with a smile. "It'll be fun. Like a buddy trip. When's the last time you and I got to spend some good quality time together?"

He groaned. "Ah, Bon, I'd love to. But I have to work..."

"I'm sure someone will cover for you."

He hesitated. "I have training..."

"Missing a day or two won't hurt."

Matt hesitated again, and Bonnie smirked. He sighed and said, "okay, fine, I can't afford it. You know my finances always suck."

"I'll pay for you," she said with a shrug.

"What? No, I can't let you do that."

"Why not?"

"Because a flight to Vegas is crazy expensive and I could never pay you back."

"Matt," Bonnie said as she reached over the table and took his hand. "You don't have to pay me back. Dad left everything to me, and so did Grams, and Grams wasn't exactly hurting for money. I think I can afford to bring my friend on a trip with me. Please? I'd love for you to come."

His doubtful face turned into a slow smile and as she kept nodding, he finally agreed. "Okay."

"Yay!"

"But you have to let me take you to dinner. I can't just freeload the whole time."

She put her hand on his chest and inhaled dramatically. "Matthew Donovan, are you asking me on a date?"

He grinned. "Yes, I am, Bonnie Bennett. I'll only come if you swear that when we get there, we'll actually have some fun first before we go looking for Damon. Dinner and at least one hour of gambling that may turn me into a millionaire."

Bonnie laughed and nodded. "Okay, I accept your terms."

"This day just got a whole lot better," he said, still smiling. He stood up and picked up his tray again.

"I'll call you later with the details," she said.

Once he went back to working, Bonnie pulled out the journal again and excitedly wrote:

 _P.S. Matt's going with me now. This might actually be fun._

 **...**

Matt showed up at Bonnie's dorm bright and early the next morning. He insisted on driving them to the airport and Bonnie was happy for the ride. They caught the 10:00 flight to Las Vegas and slept the whole way there. With all the time changes, when they touched down in Vegas, it was only 11:30. They checked in for their one-night stay at MGM Grand, where Bonnie knew that Damon was. She was tempted to just march right up to the penthouse and drag him out, but she had a promise to keep.

So after they checked in and put their small amount of luggage in the room, they had lunch, Matt's treat. Then they walked the Strip and gambled some. Bonnie played with $40 and lost it all. Matt bet the entire $50 he'd come prepared to lose, and he walked away with $200.

"It's my lucky day!" he'd shouted.

And then, of course, he insisted on paying for dinner. They settled for a loud Mexican restaurant on the heart of the strip, where they gorged themselves on fajitas and chips and salsa and more than one margarita.

"This is the best trip ever," Bonnie told him through a giggle as she got halfway through her second frozen peach margarita.

"Definitely. We should have done this a long time ago!"

"Yeah, you're a pretty good date," she said with a wink.

He grinned.

Bonnie was sure it was the tequila making her lips feel so loose, but she had to restrain herself from telling Matt how penetratingly beautiful his eyes were. She couldn't stop the next sentiment that came out of her mouth, though.

"So tell me," Bonnie said, swiping a chip from his plate. "If we were in some kind of alternate universe where you hadn't been madly in love with Elena and at least somewhat in love with Caroline, you think you would have ever been interested in me?"

Matt crumpled his face and frowned. "What?"

"What, what?" she asked, taking offense to his face. "Is that a ridiculous question or something?"

"Yeah, it is."

"Why?" she asked, starting to get upset.

"Because you're insanely hot, and smart, and probably the most loyal person I've ever met. Why would we need to be in an alternate universe for me to be interested in you?"

And just like that, her anger evaporated. It took her a moment to process everything he'd said, and then she smiled slowly and asked in a low voice, "are you _flirting_ with me?"

"Maybe," he said with a shrug, doing that little half-smirk that he did when he tried to seem cocky. Then he leaned over the table and matched her low tone. "I'm tempted to say let's forget looking for Damon and do our own thing so I can show you how much of a good date I can really be."

Bonnie blinked and if she wasn't mistaken, she felt something like arousal go through her. It wasn't possible that Matt Donovan was flirting with her and making sly comments about sex, was it? But then he wiggled his eyebrows, and she knew that was exactly what he was doing. The drinks again spurred her along when she responded.

"Then why don't you?"

"Because." He sat back in his chair again. "I try not to make a habit out of going after girls who like other guys. It's burned me before."

The hypnotic spell he'd cast on her snapped in the blink of an eye, and she looked at him in confusion.

"Wait, what? I like someone else?"

"Yep."

"Who?"

"You know who."

She shook her head immediately. "Matt, Jeremy and I are over. Way over. I mean so over that there was a funeral and everything. He came back to say goodbye to Elena and we barely spoke. There's nothing there anymore."

"I know that," he said with a shrug of his left shoulder. "I wasn't talking about Jeremy."

She frowned. "Okay, now I'm really confused. Who are you talking about?"

"Are you really gonna act like you don't know?"

"Trust me, I'm not acting. Maybe the booze is clouding my brain but I seriously have no idea who you're talking about."

"Look around, Bon," he said. "Who are we here to see? Who did we come halfway across the country to bring home, so he doesn't hurt himself?"

Bonnie's frown furrowed even deeper. " _Damon_?" she asked. "Wait a minute, you think I'm into _Damon_?"

"Aren't you?"

"What? No! Why would you think that?"

"Because you guys have been different ever since you got back. Damon was different even before you got back. He was all worried about you and I thought it was just an act to get on Elena's good side. But then he picked you over her and I realized that he really does care about you. And I can tell that you care about him, too."

"Yeah, I care about him because we're friends."

"Nah," he said confidently. "This is more than friendship. You don't hop a plane to bring someone home who's just a friend."

"Matt, you know me. You know I would do anything for my friends. It just so happens that Damon is one of those friends now and he needs me. So I'm here for him. That's all there is to it."

He eyed her suspiciously but nodded. "Okay. If you say so."

"I do say so."

"All right, all right," he said, holding up his hands. "You win. End of discussion. You don't secretly love Damon and he doesn't secretly love you. I must be mis-reading all the signs." She threw a chip at him. "Hey!"

"Hey yourself. Now let's stop talking about Damon and you get back to telling me how hot I am."

 **...**

The next morning, the jovial mood from the night before had passed and Bonnie was feeling serious and anxious. She had no idea what kind of shape they were going to find Damon in. She didn't even know if he had listened to any of her messages to know that they were coming for him. She was trying to put on her game face when she stepped out of the bathroom. She stopped when she saw Matt, standing at his bed, loading up a gun with wooden bullets.

"What is that for?" she asked, even though she knew.

"Just a little insurance, in case Damon gets out of hand."

"How the hell did you get that on the plane?"

He showed her his training badge and smiled. "Told them that we were on official business."

Bonnie laughed. "Matt Donovan, you are becoming a certified badass."

"I learned from the best," he said. He tucked the gun into the waistband of his jeans and pulled his shirt over it. "You ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

They took the elevator up to the penthouse and Bonnie used the key that she had sweet-talked the front desk man into giving her. She told him that she was "one of Damon's girls," and she wasn't surprised when that was all it took. They arrived at the top floor of the hotel, where they stood at the door that led to the room. Bonnie used the key again to let them into what had to be the most opulent hotel room either of them had ever occupied. There were gleaming floors, modern furniture, and ridiculous views of the Strip. The place was immaculate, except for the bodies of drunk, unconscious and possibly dead women that littered the floor.

Bonnie's heart beat a little faster when she saw the pads of Damon's bare feet as he descended the spiral staircase in the middle of the living area. His pale legs were on display in his short black boxer briefs. He wasn't wearing a shirt, his hair was all ruffled and he hadn't shaved. He hummed to himself as he walked down, and he looked perfectly content until he stopped in his tracks and caught eyes with Bonnie.

"Oh, look, it's the fun police," he said with a fake smile. "Come to take me home?"

"Yes," Bonnie said dryly. "Put on some clothes. Let's go."

"I'm not going," he said. "Thanks, but no thanks."

"Look, Damon, I told you that I was coming to get you if you didn't come back. You've had your fun," she said, looking around the room and shaking her head in disgust. "Obviously. Now play time is over and we have work to do."

"I don't have any work to do." He went to the bar and poured himself a drink and made an exaggerated "ahhh" sound. "I like it just fine where I am."

"You're coming with me, Damon," she said a little more forcefully.

"Oh, Bonnie, Bonnie, Bonnie," he said, shaking his head. He put his drink down and sauntered towards her. "Don't you ever get tired of being the self-righteous do-gooder? Don't you ever just want to let your hair down and be bad for once?" He pretended to think and said, "oh, that's right. You did that with Expression and got yourself killed. Apparently, that's the only thing you're good at."

Her nostrils flared at the insult, but she didn't stoop to his level. Instead, she stepped closer to him until they were almost chest-to-chest.

"Put. On. Your. Clothes," she said.

"I said I'm not going anywhere," he said, and his eyes turned red and his vampire veins appeared.

"Bonnie, be careful," Matt said, producing the gun from his waistband. He pointed it at Damon. "He might have turned his humanity off."

"He hasn't turned off shit," Bonnie said, her eyes never leaving Damon. He narrowed his eyes at her and she stared right back. "Turning off his emotions means that he doesn't want to feel. But we all know that Damon _does_ want to feel. He wants to feel all the pain and misery that he can get so it will justify his being a complete and absolute asshole."

Damon pressed his lips together, then smiled in a sinister way.

"Does this make you feel useful, Bon-Bon?" he asked. "Coming out here to rescue big bad Damon? Does it make you feel like you're not just a side character in your own life?"

His words hurt her, but Bonnie gritted her teeth and pointed a finger at him.

"Be careful what you say, Damon," she warned. "There are some things you can't take back."

"Oh yeah? Like what? Like how I wish it had been you instead of Elena?" He stepped closer until there was no space between them and his nose was pressed against hers. "Like how I should have let you die on that floor?" She knew that he could see the tears welling up in her eyes. He knew he was hitting her in the sore spot, exposing her deepest insecurities, but he didn't stop. "Well, I do. I do wish I hadn't saved you. I do wish you were dead."

Bonnie's hand raised up and slapped him before he knew what had happened. The sound of her skin meeting his echoed through the entire penthouse. Before he could react in any way, she grabbed his hand and wrapped it around her throat.

"Bonnie!" Matt said, about to step closer until she held up her free hand and made him stop. She kept her attention on Damon as she spoke.

"You want me dead?" she asked. "Then do it. Kill me. Right now."

"Bonnie, stop," Matt pleaded.

"Do it!" she screamed to Damon, who actually flinched a little. "You want Elena back? You think I'm worthless? Then squeeze my neck until all the bones break, or let me bleed out on this floor, or do whatever the hell it is you want to do with me. Kill me, Damon."

Both of them were breathing hard when she finished talking, and he flexed his fingers around her neck once, then twice, then a third time. He looked at her and squeezed, but it was never hard enough to hurt.

"Do it," she taunted. "Stop talking about it and be about it for once in your life."

He squeezed again, a little harder, and he acted like he was actually going to do it. Then, at the height of the tension, he pulled his hand off her neck and stepped back. Bonnie hadn't realized she was crying until she felt the wetness on her cheeks. She brushed them away and then narrowed her eyes at Damon and sent him crashing to his knees with the strongest aneurysm that she had ever given him. He screamed in pain and doubled over.

"While you've been playing around with bimbos, I've been working on my magic," she told him over the cries of pain. "I'm a lot stronger than you remember. Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way. You can come with us willingly, or I can pop all the vessels in your brain until it comes oozing out of your ears. What's it gonna be?"

"Ugh...Augh!" he screamed, grabbing his head and pounding on the floor.

"I'm sorry, was that an answer?"

"Make it stop!" he begged. "Please!"

"Only if I know that you're going to follow my rules from now on."

"Fuck...you!" he screamed.

"Eh, wrong answer."

She turned up the intensity on the aneurysms and Damon was clearly on the verge of passing out. Bonnie leaned against a table and looked at her nails.

"Say the magic words," she said.

"P...p..."

"Please?"

"Yes!" he shouted.

"Are you going to behave?"

"Yes!"

Bonnie yawned like he was boring her, and she looked at Matt, who appeared torn between amusement and fear.

"What do you think, Matt? You think he's ready to be a good boy?"

"AAUUUUGH!"

"Yeah, I think so," Matt said.

"Okay, fine."

She finally stopped the pain and Damon lay on the ground, twitching like he had been electrocuted. Bonnie stood over his body and lowered herself until her mouth was near his ear.

"If you ever say some fucked up shit like that to me again, I will set your brain on fire," she said calmly. "Put your clothes on."

Bonnie got up and straightened herself out, like she'd just been slightly inconvenienced. She pointed to Matt and said, "I'm going downstairs. If he tries anything funny, shoot him."

She breezed past him and left Matt alone, pointing a gun at Damon. It took a full fifteen minutes for the vampire to pick himself up from the floor, and when he did so, he stumbled and growled at Matt. Matt jumped a little, but held the gun pointed at Damon's face, with his finger on the trigger.

"I could have that gun out of your hands before you could think about shooting me," Damon said.

"Yeah, but you won't. Because Bonnie wouldn't like it."

Damon clenched his jaw but to Matt's surprise, he did exactly what Bonnie told him to. He slowly walked up the stairs, with Matt following him, and when he was in the master bedroom, he pulled one some pants and a shirt. He was moving slowly, and Matt was sure that the aneurysm was still lingering.

"She messed you up pretty good, huh?" he teased.

"Shut up," Damon snapped.

He grabbed a pair of sunglasses and they went back downstairs, where Damon stepped over the bodies of the women and walked out the door. Matt followed him into the elevator, where he kept the gun pointed into his back. Damon shook his head.

"How does it feel to be Bonnie's little bitch?" he sneered.

"You tell me," Matt countered. "You're the one that gave up a penthouse, hot chicks and no responsibilities all because Bonnie is mad at you and gave you a little headache."

He chuckled at the end, and Damon spun around and grabbed him by the neck. He pushed Matt into the wall and then took the gun out of his hands and snapped it in half. He let him go as the elevator doors opened, and both of them straightened up as they walked into the lobby, where Bonnie was waiting. She looked at Matt, and when she and Damon's eyes met, the tension was so thick that it nearly strangled them all.

The ride home was going to be a long one.


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 _August 20, 2013_

 _Dear Elena,_

 _We've been back home for almost two weeks and Damon and I aren't speaking. Well, I guess I should say that I'm not speaking to him. He's called and texted and come by the apartment a few times trying to talk to me, but I won't respond. He's never been invited inside the apartment so he'll just stand out there and be annoying until Caroline makes him go away. I know you're probably thinking that we've just had another one of our regular fights, but this time he said something really awful to me and I'm not going to let him get away with it. He needs to learn that it's not okay to treat me like he does._

 _Honestly, I'm not sure if this friendship is worth it. I know that you saw something in Damon even way back when I thought he was the scum of the Earth. I thought I saw it, too, a few times...especially when we were in 1994 together. Sometimes, I think he can be a great person and he just needs a little nurturing and encouragement. And then he goes and shows his ass like he always does and I wonder why I bother. He's too old and he's been around too long to still act like a child._

 _If you were here, I'm sure you'd talk to him and make him apologize. He's already apologized a few times but I suspect that Stefan is making him do that, too. I want him to apologize to me because he knows he was wrong and not because other people tell him to do it. I want him to mean it and I want him to change. Grams always told me that people don't change, especially not men. She said I should believe a person when he shows me who he really is. I guess that's the problem. I don't know who Damon really is because he shows me so many different personalities that it's hard to keep up. He can be sweet, but that's usually because he's trying to impress you. He can be loyal and thoughtful, but again, most of that revolved around you._

 _Maybe my whole relationship with Damon only existed because of you. And now that you're gone, maybe I should let it go. That makes me sadder than I expected._

 _Until next time,_  
 _Bonnie_

Bonnie closed the journal, frowning and feeling a little down about the tenor of her entry. She hadn't meant to get so philosophical and depressing, but she had to get out her thoughts about Damon. Even as she slid the journal into her bookcase and walked into the kitchen where Caroline was waiting for her, she wondered if she was right. She wondered if Elena was the glue that held her and Damon together and without her, they really weren't friends.

"So we have chips, dip, tacos and some of these margarita beer things with like 10% alcohol," Caroline announced as she moved around the kitchen like a busy bee. She spun around with a smile on her face, which promptly fell when she saw Bonnie. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Bonnie said with a wave of her hand. She tried to grab the chips and dip and Caroline moved it away from her and frowned.

"No, it's not nothing. You're upset. Why?"

Bonnie sighed because she didn't want to get into it but she also knew that Caroline wouldn't let it go until she spilled.

"I guess this whole situation with Damon is bothering me more than I thought," she admitted. "I was telling Elena about it."

Caroline made a "pfft" sound and rolled her eyes. "Ew, forget Damon. He's a dick and he doesn't deserve you as a friend."

"Gee, thanks, Care," she said dryly.

"Hey," Caroline said as she took Bonnie by the shoulders. "Forget him. This is our girl time right now. We're going to eat this food, watch all the episodes of 'Scandal' that you missed while you were stuck in hell, and get moderately intoxicated while we watch Olivia and Fitz dance around each other and build up unbearable sexual tension. Got it?"

Bonnie couldn't help but smile and she nodded. "Got it."

"Good. Here you go."

Caroline gave her the chips and dip and turned her around, and they each carried items out to the living room. The DVR was all set to start the next episode and once they got good and comfortable on the couch, Caroline hit 'play.' They were about halfway through Fitz's birthday episode and Bonnie was so engrossed that she nearly jumped off the couch when there was a knock on their door. It didn't take a genius to know who was there, especially when Damon started calling her name.

"Bon-Bon," he sang. "Open up. I wanna talk to you. You can't ignore me forever."

Caroline paused the show and both girls rolled their eyes.

"Can you please get rid of him?" Bonnie asked.

"Nope. It's your turn."

"Care..." she whined.

"You need to talk to him," she said. "And make it quick. It's about to get good."

Bonnie groaned but dragged herself off the couch and trudged to the door. Damon hadn't stopped knocking and her earlier sadness gave way to irritation when she yanked the door open and met his face.

"What?" she asked.

"I've been calling you," he said. "And you've been avoiding me."

"How observant of you."

"Look, I said I was sorry about that stuff I said in Vegas. I wasn't in my right mind."

"That's no excuse."

"You know I didn't mean it," he scoffed. "When are you gonna get that stick out of your ass and get over it?"

Anger flashed through her body and she stepped out into the hallway with him and closed the door behind her.

"Do you know what you said to me?" she asked, staring at him with fiery eyes. He started to answer but she held up her hand silenced him. "You said, and I quote, 'I wish you were dead.' Do you honestly think that a few text message apologies and showing up at my door at all hours of the night gets you off the hook for that?"

"I didn't mean it," he said again.

"Whether you meant it or not isn't even the point!" she said with barely controlled rage. "You said it to hurt me, and you did hurt me. A lot. And for what? I'm not the one who tied my life to Elena's. Do you think I want this? Do you think I want to be the reason that my best friend is asleep while I'm alive and that I'll never see her again? I feel worse about this than anyone! Why are you taking your pain out on me when I'm only trying to help you?"

Damon sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Bonnie, I'm sorry. Okay? I'm truly sorry. Now can we please move past this?"

He looked at her and she looked at him, and she folded her arms and shook her head.

"Why are you here, Damon?" she asked.

"You know why. To say I'm sorry!"

"No, why are you apologizing? You didn't say two words to me for the first few days we were back home. And now all of a sudden, you're showing up and calling all the time? Why? Did you find out that Ric is just a shell of himself and he won't come out and play with you? Stefan's too busy with his own crap to listen to your whining? Who knows where Enzo is? I guess I'm the only friend left, right? You want me to stop being mad at you so you can cry on my shoulder about Elena and use me as you see fit?" He opened his mouth to respond but again she cut him off. "No. I won't be your back-up buddy."

"You're not my back-up buddy," he said through gritted teeth.

"Then why are you here?"

"Because I miss you, damn it!" he snapped. "Is that so hard to believe?"

"Considering that you told me you want me dead, yes it is."

"I said I didn't meant it!"

"And I said I don't believe you!" she screamed back.

He pressed his lips together and stared at her in a way that she guessed was meant to be intimidating, and she put her hands on her hips and stared right back. Neither of them spoke for some tense seconds, and then Bonnie turned to go back inside. That brought Damon out his glare and he reached for her arm, which she promptly yanked away.

"Leave me alone," she said. "If you want to be my friend, you need to prove it. Until then, don't call or visit."

"How am I supposed to prove it if you won't even talk to me?"

"Figure it out."

She slammed the door behind her and halfway expected for him to knock again, but he didn't. She took her place on the couch and Caroline gave her a look.

"What?" she asked.

"You two argue like a married couple," Caroline said matter-of-factly.

"We do not."

"Yeah, you kinda do. Too bad he's such a huge asshole because you guys would be really cute together."

Bonnie narrowed her eyes. "Shut up and push 'play.'"

 **...**

Damon tried; she had to give him credit for that. A few days after their argument, he showed up outside of her morning class with some coffee for her. And it was the kind she liked, not whatever awful mixed up flavor he'd gotten before. She took the coffee but didn't acknowledge him in any other way. He showed up every morning for a week and she still didn't accept his apology. When that didn't work, he moved on to having flowers delivered to her apartment, followed by an Edible Arrangement of the most delicious fruit she'd ever had. It took her and Caroline three days to eat it all.

Still, she didn't accept his apology. He had to learn that materialism wasn't the way to her heart.

Bonnie sat cross-legged on the floor of the living room, a pen behind her ear and a highlighter in hand as she read her astronomy book. It was the first week of the fall semester classes and she was required to take a hard science as part of her curriculum. She had no interest in biology, chemistry or physics, and astronomy seemed like an intriguing alternative. The reading materials were very dense but the prospect of learning more about the stars and using that to enhance her magic was more than enough to keep her interested. She was right in the middle of a thirty-page reading assignment when someone knocked on the door.

"Yeah, just a minute," she called.

She highlighted a few sentences and then jogged to the door, where she found Stefan smiling at her.

"Oh, Stefan, hey," she said.

"Hey."

"Caroline's not here right now. She had her first biochem lab today and they don't let out until about seven."

"Oh, that's okay. I'm actually here to see you."

Bonnie's eyebrows rose in surprise. "You are?"

"Yeah. Do you have a second?"

"Sure. Come in."

She slid out of the way to let him in and he strolled into the living room and peeked at her book.

"Astronomy, huh?" he asked.

"Yep. It's a little convoluted but I like it. I'm hoping it will help with my magic." He nodded and an awkward silence fell over them. Bonnie folded her arms over her chest and smiled uncomfortably. "So, what's up? Some kind of crisis going on that you need my help with?" she teased.

"No, but that's actually why I came over."

"Okay, I'm confused."

"Listen, I know you and Damon are fighting," he started, and she rolled her eyes. "I've been talking to him about how the whole situation and I realized that I haven't been much better. All this time we've known each other and I honestly can't think of a single time that I came over to see you and didn't ask for you help in some way. We've never just...hung out, you know?"

"We didn't really have time," she reminded him.

"We had time," he said. "But I never made the effort to get to know you outside of being our resident witch, and for that, I'm sorry."

Bonnie nodded slowly, not entirely sure what to make of his apology or even his visit.

"Um, okay," she said.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't want us to just be acquaintances. We've been through so much together and you're really close to Damon..."

" _Was_ really close."

"I stand corrected. You _were_ close to Damon and I guess I _was_ close to Caroline and I want you and I have a friendship, too. Outside of everyone else. If that's too weird or you don't want to, I'd understand but I at least wanted to make the effort."

"It's not weird," she said. "A little unexpected, but not weird. And I appreciate the sentiment."

He smiled. "So what do you say? There's a bowling alley a couple of miles down the road that's having a happy hour right now. You want to go with me?"

Bonnie thought of a million reasons why she shouldn't: she had to study, she needed to do some laundry, et cetera. But Stefan had such a nice smile on his face and looked so hopeful. And she did kind of want a reading break and he was probably paying. So she nodded.

"Okay. Yeah. Let's go."

Stefan grinned and held out his hand. "After you."

They walked out to his classic car and he held the door open for her. When he got in on the driver's side and the engine roared to life, he smiled at Bonnie like a proud father and she laughed.

"What is it with you Salvatore boys and your old cars?" she asked.

Stefan answered as he pulled out of her complex. "You know, I think it's because we were around when cars were first invented and we got to see all the improvements and everything. Don't get me wrong, some cars today are really nice. But there's nothing like these old muscles cars. It's all that power, you know? Makes you feel invincible. Even more so when you're a vampire."

"Ah ha," she nodded.

"You ever driven a car like this?" he asked.

"I drove the Camaro a lot in '94," she said.

Stefan's eyebrows hiked up. "Damon let you drive his car?"

"No," she snorted. "I did it after he was gone."

He noticed the sad look on her face and he wasn't sure if it was because she was remembering her bad times in the prison world, or if she missed Damon. He pulled over and stopped the car, and then handed her the keys.

"You drive," he said.

"What? No, that's okay."

"I trust you," he said.

He got out and opened her door before she could argue with him. She looked at the keys and he nodded, and then she grinned and raced to the driver's side. She fired up the engine again and after they were strapped in, she peeled off like a seasoned racecar driver. Stefan held on tight and let out an exaggerated scream and she laughed loudly at his reaction. He encouraged her smooth transitions from lane to lane and even clapped when she did a nifty little drift into the parking lot of the bowling alley.

"Nicely done," he said after they parked. "Very nice, Miss Bennett. I'd say all that practice in the Camaro did you some good."

"Thank you very much, Mr. Salvatore."

They walked inside together and Stefan paid for their games and shoe rentals, while Bonnie put their names into the machine. They each got their respective balls and they went back and forth, with Bonnie winning the first game and Stefan the second. Bonnie had just bowled her first round in the third game and hit a strike, and when she turned around to rub Stefan's nose in it, her arms dropped to her side and her smile fell because sitting right next to Stefan was none other than Damon.

"Nice roll, Judgey," he said.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, clearly unimpressed.

"Oh, Stefan didn't tell you? His job was to get you here so I could talk to you. Nice job, bro."

Bonnie's eyes cut to Stefan, who looked sheepish and guilty.

"You set me up?" she asked. She immediately hit him in the arms and chest and Stefan did little to fight her off. "What about all that stuff about. Us. Being. Friends," she said, hitting with him each word.

"All true!" he said, shielding his face a little. "It was all true, I promise. And I was having a great time with you."

"Then why the hell is Damon here?"

"Because he was moping around the house like a puppy and he begged me to get you to talk to him. Don't kill me."

"Ugh!" Bonnie said, hitting him one last time. She turned to Damon and glare at him. "What do you want?"

"I want you to forgive me, duh."

"No."

"No? What else am I supposed to do, Bonnie?" he asked, sighing in exasperation. "I apologized repeatedly. I sent you flowers and fruit and brought you non-shitty coffee for a whole week! I know I screwed up but how long are you going to punish me? I've done everything I can think of to say I'm sorry. I even got Saint Stefan involved just so you would talk to me. What else can I do to show you that your friendship matters to me? I wouldn't be doing all this if I didn't care."

Bonnie wanted to stay mad but his words did kind of work their way underneath all that armor. She looked at Stefan, who looked away to pretend like he wasn't listening. She sighed and looked at the bowling lane and an idea came to her.

"Fine," she said to Damon. "We'll play for it. If you win, I'll forgive you. If I win, you remain on friendship probation until I decide otherwise."

Damon looked at her for a minute, sizing up the situation, and then hopped up and nodded.

"Okay. Be prepared to lose and become my bestie again."

"We'll see about it. And no cheating, either. No vampire strength. No trying to distract me when it's my turn."

"Please. Like I need those tactics to beat your girly little self."

"This girly little self is going to have you on your knees at the end of this game."

"For something dirty, I hope," he said with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

"Still mad at you, remember? This isn't the time for sex jokes."

He rolled his eyes. "Fine. Have a seat and watch a master at work."

Bonnie did have a seat, but only after she gave Stefan another death glare and he responded with a goofy smile and a little shrug, like he wasn't at all sorry for his part in the ruse.

"Traitor," she said.

"You'll forgive me when you and Damon are friends again."

" _If_ we're friends again."

"Eyes up here, Judgey," Damon said. He picked up a ball and made a show of getting set, then he walked down and bowled a strike. He spun around and smirked. "You're gonna be all mine, Bennett."

"We'll see about that."

And so they went back and forth until they came to the final frame. Since Stefan had rolled first in the final game and Damon took his spot, Damon rolled before Bonnie. After his turn and Bonnie's first roll, he was leading Bonnie by five points. Considering that she had been knocking down spares and strikes all game, it seemed fairly likely that she would get more than five points. She was smiling smugly when she went up for her final roll. She turned to Damon to talk trash, but she stopped when she saw his face. His arms were folded tightly over his chest, legs crossed at the feet and his jaw clenched. He stared ahead like he was calculating all the ways she could mess up but coming up empty.

He was worried. He was worried that she would win and he would lose her. It was in that moment that Bonnie replayed all the things he'd done to gain her forgiveness, including this ridiculous game and how sad he looked at the prospect of losing.

And right then, she forgave him.

She got set and bowled what appeared to be a perfect ball. At the very last second, she waved her finger just enough to send the ball into the gutter, giving Damon the victory. When she turned around again, he was smirking and his arms had fallen to his sides.

"Too bad, Bon," he said. "Looks like you're stuck with me."

"Yeah, looks like I am," she said, allowing herself a little smile.

"Well, come here, then," he said, opening his arms. Bonnie hesitated at first, just to mess with him, and then she slid into his open arms and he wrapped her up in a tight hug. She had to admit that it felt good to let her anger go. And it definitely felt good to be close to him again. She never would have guessed it from looking at him but he was a great hugger. He had just the right amount of squeeze and he always smelled good.

"You cheated," he said lowly, swaying her a little in his arms. "You missed that last one on purpose."

"Are you complaining?" she asked, with her head on his chest.

"Nah."

He kissed her forehead, and then Stefan said "aww, I need to get in on this."

He hugged Bonnie's back and she laughed when the brothers smothered her in a Salvatore sandwich.

"Well, Miss Bennett, I must say that I'm impressed."

The voice caused all three of them to snap their heads in the direction of the sound, and when they did, they saw Lily Salvatore and all her witchpires standing there, looking very out of place in their old-timey outfits.

"Elena's only been a few months and already you've moved into her territory with both of my sons," Lily said with a small laugh. "When this is all over, you must share your secret. But for now, I think it's time we all had a conversation."


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Damon took a protective stance in front of Bonnie and frowned at his mother.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"I believe that I owe Bonnie an apology," Lily said as she smiled at Bonnie. "I'm afraid that I misbehaved the last time we were together."

"Misbehaved?" Bonnie scoffed. "You stabbed me in the neck and left me to die."

"And I genuinely apologize for that. You must understand that I was upset about the prospect of never seeing my family again. Now that I've had some time to reunite with them and get my thoughts together, I realize that I acted atrociously to you and I hope that you can forgive me."

"She doesn't forgive you," Damon said.

"I can speak for myself, thanks," Bonnie reminded him. She looked at Lily and said, "but he's right. I don't forgive you, at all."

"Perhaps with time, then," Lily said with a smile. She turned to her group of friends and gestured to the bowling lanes. "I see that entertainment has not evolved much in a hundred years. Throwing a heavy ball at some sticks. I think we can do that."

She and the witchpires crowded the lane next to Bonnie, Damon and Stefan and Damon held up his hands.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, what the hell are you doing?"

"We are going to play this game."

"Why?"

"Because, Damon, we live in this time now and we want to play games just as everyone else does. We only want to assimilate, I assure you. And this appears to be a place where people congregate to have fun."

"If you want to fit in, here's a tip. Tell your friends to invest in some jeans and stop looking like freak shows at a circus. And don't say words like 'assimilate' and 'congregate.' Don't use any words with 'ate' at the end."

"Noted," she said, looking slightly amused. "Would you three care to engage in a competition?"

"Uh no," Bonnie spoke up. She turned to Stefan and said, "I'm ready to go."

"Yeah, sure, I'll drive you back."

Stefan gave his mother a look, then escorted Bonnie out of the bowling alley. Damon only stayed long enough to glare at Lily and issue a warning.

"I don't know what you're up to, but if you have plans to hurt Bonnie, believe me when I say that I won't hesitate to kill you."

"I have no doubt about that," she said. "I've already played a part in taking away one of the women you love. I wouldn't dare take away the other."

Her lips curled into a smirk and although he wasn't sure that he liked her implication, he didn't feel like debating her about it. He left her and her band of weirdos and joined Stefan and Bonnie in his car. Bonnie was in the front seat, looking worried.

"You okay?" he asked as Stefan drove back to her apartment.

"Yeah. I just have a bad feeling about her."

"You're not the only one."

"Let's keep an eye on her before we jump to conclusions," Stefan said.

"Oh, come on, Mama's Boy," Damon said. "She's bad news. We should just kill her and be done with it."

"We're not going to kill her, Damon," Stefan said firmly. "At least not until she gives us a reason to. Maybe she's on the straight and narrow now. She's got her friends back so maybe all that crazy is out of her system now."

Bonnie's eyes met Damon's through the rearview mirror and they shared a look of uncertainty, but neither said anything. They would let Stefan, the eternal optimist, think the best of his mother while they kept their guards up. Stefan stayed in the car but thanked Bonnie for the game while Damon walked her up to her door. She leaned against the wood and shook her head.

"I don't feel good about her," she said.

"Yeah, me either."

"What are we gonna do?"

"We'll let Stefan play Captain Save 'Em for a little while but if she steps out of line, I'll chop her head off. You know I'm good for that."  
He smiled, and she smiled, and then she poked his chest.

"I'm glad we're friends again," she said.

"Was there ever any doubt? You know you can't resist me, Bon-Bon."

"Mm hm." She turned to unlock the door, and then she slid inside. "Bye."

"You're not gonna invite me in?" he asked.

"Maybe next time."

He opened his mouth to argue, but she closed the door in his face and snickered. She toed off her shoes and ate a banana before settling on the couch in the living room. She decided not to continue her astronomy reading from earlier and instead watched TV. She started getting sleepy and figured she had time for a short nap before Caroline got home. She pulled a blanket over her body, curled up and let sleep overcome her.

She wasn't sure how long she had been asleep when a sound jolted her awake. She sat up on the couch and took a moment to get oriented. She checked her phone and saw that it was 9:00, but the apartment felt and sounded empty. She was sure that Caroline would have woken her up when she returned.

"Care?" she called. There was no answer. Bonnie tossed the blanket off and rolled her neck a few times to loosen it up. She went to Caroline's room, only to find it empty. She wasn't sure what the sound was that woke her up, but she got an uncomfortable feeling in her stomach as she walked back through the living room and checked her own room. She didn't see anyone or anything and tried to chalk up the feeling to paranoia. She was rubbing her eyes when she started going back to the kitchen.

"Hello, Bonnie."

She stopped in her tracks when she found Lily standing in her living room. Her body went on high alert immediately; her heart raced, stomach tightened and palms began to sweat.

"How the hell did you get in here?" she asked.

Lily shrugged. "Magic." Her smile was evil and unsettling.

"Get out," Bonnie said.

"We should talk first."

"I don't have anything to say to you and I'm not interested in anything you have to say to me."

"I understand that you're still quite upset with me," Lily said. "With good reason. I am truly sorry for what transpired between us earlier."

"What transpired between us?" Bonnie asked with a sarcastic laugh. "You stabbed me, you crazy bitch!" she shouted. "It's not like you stubbed my toe! I could have died!"

"But you didn't, of course."

"Of course? What are you talking about, of course? Do you know how many times I've died?"

"And yet here you are." Lily took one step towards Bonnie and Bonnie immediately took a step back. "Has it ever occurred to you that perhaps you've cheated death so many times because you aren't meant to die?"

"Of course I'm meant to die. I'm human. Humans die."

"You're a witch," she corrected. "And you could be so much more than that."

Bonnie narrowed her eyes as she thought she knew where Lily was going with her comments.

"What do you really want with me?" she asked.

"I want you on my side. I want you to be a part of my family, Bonnie. A heretic. A witchpire. A vitch, whatever you'd like to call it."

"No."

"Think about it. Think of how powerful you would be. You're already a gifted witch. A Bennett witch, no less. If I turned you, all that power would increase a hundred fold. You'd never die. You'd be young and beautiful forever and together, we could do anything."

Bonnie shook her head. "No," she said again. "I don't want to be one of your freaks. I don't want to be a vampire at all. I want to live a normal life."

"You're not normal," Lily said calmly. "You never were and you never will be. You have so much untapped potential that I could bring out of you, if you'd only let me."

"Get out," Bonnie said again. When Lily didn't move, she yelled, "Get out!" Lily only smiled, and Bonnie immediately held out her hand and sent her the most powerful aneurysm that she could muster. Only, it did nothing.

"That won't work here, I'm afraid," Lily said.

Before Bonnie could ask what that was supposed to mean, Lily sped over to her and grabbed her by the neck. She hoisted Bonnie against the wall and Bonnie struggled to breathe and get away. She kicked and scratched but Lily didn't let go. With her free hand, Lily bit into her wrist and then forced it into Bonnie's mouth.

"Drink it, my dear," she said calmly. "Drink it and this will all be better."

Bonnie moved her head from side to side and tried to close her mouth and not swallow the blood, but Lily overpowered her. As much as she didn't want to, she swallowed some of the blood and Lily smiled.

"And now, I make you mine."

Lily snapped her neck, and as soon as she did, Bonnie screamed and woke up. She was still screaming when she saw Caroline was kneeling in front of the couch, trying to calm her down.

"Bonnie, Bonnie, hey wake up, it was a bad dream," she said repeatedly.

It took Bonnie several seconds to calm down and realize that the whole interaction with Lily was only a nightmare. She looked down at her shaking hands and felt her neck, which was intact and didn't have a bite on it. She fell back and sighed, breathing deeply.

"Are you okay?" Caroline asked, her face full of concern.

"Yeah. Yeah," she nodded.

"What happened?"

"A bad dream." She touched her neck again. "It was just a bad dream."

 **...**

 _September 2, 2013_

 _Dear Elena,_

 _You remember how I told you that I felt something was coming? That something is about to happen? Well I think the other shoe finally dropped in the form of Lily Salvatore. She made her presence known when I was at the bowling alley with Damon and Stefan. She said that she only wanted to "assimilate" and apologize to me, but ever since that day, she's been haunting my dreams. At first, I thought it was just a nightmare. But it's been happening every day. It's the same dream every time. She forces me to drink her blood and turns me into a witchpire. She's controlling my thoughts when I sleep and I don't know how to stop it. I haven't slept well in days because even if I close my eyes for a nap, she's there._

 _Caroline knows about it, but I haven't told Damon yet. I guess I'm afraid that if I tell him, he'll do something impulsive and make the whole thing worse. So far, Lily only messes with me in my nightmares. I don't want her to start messing with me when I'm awake, too. If Damon pushes her, she might get more aggressive. I don't know what to do._

 _We made up, in case you can't tell. Me and Damon, I mean. I'm glad, too. I think I will need him._

 _Bon_

 **...**

As much as Bonnie liked her astronomy class, it was very hard to stay awake. They had class in an auditorium with all the lights down so they could look up at the ceiling and the teacher could show them the stars and planets. Normally, she would have been very interested. But after so many days of disrupted sleep, it took everything in her to keep her eyes open. She dozed off every few minutes, only to jolt awake, afraid that she might wake up screaming from a dream encounter with Lily. Her head hurt. Her eyes hurt. She just wanted to sleep.

When the class ended, she gathered her books and backpack and dragged herself down the steps. She was barely out of the door when someone tapped her shoulder. She gasped and jumped, only to find Damon standing there, a cup of coffee extended to her.

"What's up with you?" he asked suspiciously. "You look terrible."

"Gee, thanks," she said as she took the coffee. She took a long sip and sighed in relief. It tasted good and it was going to keep her awake for a while. "I'm just tired."

"Why?" he asked.

They walked down the busy halls of the science building and out into the warm summer air.

"I haven't been sleeping well."

"Any particular reason?"

She thought about telling him, but then she remembered that he would undoubtedly make the situation worse. "No, not really."

"Hm. Well, I have some news about our resident psychopath. That's my mother, by the way."

Bonnie's heart skipped a beat but she played it off by taking another sip of coffee. "Uh-huh."

"So the word on the street is that some people have gone missing lately. And by people, I mean witches. And I'm pretty sure the abductors are none other than Mommy Dearest and her witchy vampy crew."

"What are they doing with witches?"

"Trying to turn them, probably. My guess is that she wants to make a vampire-witch hybrid army. You know, kind of like Klaus 2.0, only with sexy witches instead of smelly dogs."

"Uh-huh," Bonnie said, looking straight ahead as the thoughts ran rapid-fire through her mind. She had been trying to hold off hope that her dreams didn't mean anything, but knowing that Lily was creating an army only cemented her fears. Lily wanted to turn her.

"So I was thinking that maybe we could do a little recon on Lily and find out exactly what they're doing. I think they have their 'meetings' at the old storage units in Mystic Falls. You up for it?"

Bonnie finally stopped walking and actually paid attention to Damon. "Up for what, exactly?"

"You and me, doing some undercover work. We could stake out in my car and eat stale doughnuts while we do surveillance, just like all those nitty gritty cops."

He wiggled his eyebrows and despite her exhaustion, she laughed a little.

"When would be we doing this nitty gritty work?" she asked.

"Tonight," he said with a shrug. "You don't have class tomorrow until late, right? We'll make a night of it. You, me, the Camaro...sound like fun?"

Bonnie's body screamed at her to get some meaningful sleep, but she knew it wasn't going to happen with her thoughts centered on Lily. So she agreed, much to Damon's delight. He hung around her apartment after she graciously invited him in, and she finished up her classes for the day. When she came back, she hopped into the Camaro and they took off for Mystic Falls. Darkness was falling when Damon made a pit stop for coffee and the afore-promised stale doughnuts, and by the time they pulled up to the storage unit entrance, it was pitch black outside. Damon parked his car some distance away, hidden underneath the shade of forest trees, and hopefully where they could see out without being noticed. Bonnie was in the middle of polishing off a chocolate cake doughnut when Damon whipped out a pair of binoculars.

"Oh my God, you're kidding, right?"

"What? These are what the old cops would use," he defended.

"You're a vampire, you idiot. You have perfect vision."

"It's even more perfect with these kick ass binoculars," he said. He brought out another pair and handed them to her. "Don't be jealous. I got some for you, too."

"Wow, thanks," she said dryly.

She watched him with unabashed amusement as he leaned over the steering wheel and used his binoculars like he really needed them.

"You're ridiculous," she said.

"I'm prepared." He put his spectacles down and relaxed in his seat. He was still watching the entrance when he asked, "so are you gonna tell me why you haven't been sleeping?"

She froze mid-chew, waiting for him to reveal that he knew about the nightmares. But he didn't. He just looked at her and waited.

"Sometimes there isn't a reason for things like that," she said with a shrug.

"I don't recall you ever having a problem going to sleep when we were stuck in 1994. As a matter of fact, I seem to remember you falling asleep on many a movie, snoring like a bear and drooling all over me."

"Oh please! First of all, I don't snore or drool."

"Tell that to all my shirts."

"And secondly, how could I not have fallen asleep? You always wanted to watch those old black and white movies that were boring as hell."

"They're classics, Bonnie."

"They're boring."

"You have no taste when it comes to cinema," he scoffed.

"Yeah, well you have the taste of a ninety-year-old. Oh wait, you're even older than that. Thanks, Grandpa."

Damon narrowed his eyes at her, and asked, "when's the last time you had sex?"

"Oh my God," she groaned. "No, we are not having this conversation."

"You need some sex, Bon-Bon," he said seriously. "Nothing will put you to sleep like a little dick. Or a lot of dick. You probably need a lot."

"Did you not hear me say that we're not having this discussion?"

"What has it been, like a year and half? Two years? More?" he asked, completely disregarding her statement. "I mean, I know you polished the pearl a few times while we were in the prison world but that doesn't count."

Bonnie smacked his arm. "Shut. Up!"

"That's your problem," he decided. "We just need to get you laid. I would offer, but you know, I'm kind of taken."

"Oh, darn," she said sarcastically. "So sorry I'm missing out on that exclusive opportunity."

Damon took in a sharp breath and put his hand to his chest. "Are you trying to imply that I'm a slut?"

"I'm not implying anything. I'm saying it explicitly." She grinned and he smirked. She reached over and turned his radio on. "Now hush. Real nitty gritty cops don't do all this chatting while they're on the job."

For the next few hours, they sat in relative silence, as nothing but the radio made noise. Bonnie sank into her chair and nodded off a few times, but she always woke up before she got into any real deep sleep. Damon watched the entrance. When midnight came and went and there was still no sign of Lily, Damon sighed.

"Well, I guess we can pack it in for the night."

"Yeah, good call," Bonnie said as she fought off a yawn. "We can come back some other day."

Damon started the car and drove away, watching the entrance until it was out of view.

"It's kind of late to drive all the way back to your place. You want to spend the night at the boarding house?" he offered.

Bonnie knew that she should insist on him taking her home, but her brain was so tired that she could only mumble an 'okay.' Her eyes got heavy, as did her body, and although she tried to resist, sleep finally claimed her. When they pulled up to the Salvatore home, Damon smirked as he looked at her body slumped in her chair. She was snoring lightly and he pulled out his phone to capture it.

"You don't snore, my ass," he said as the camera recorded ten seconds of her sounds.

He slipped his phone into his pocket and then got out and carefully opened Bonnie's door. He scooped her up in his arms and she didn't wake up. He carried her up to the guest room right next to his and situated her on the bed. He pulled off her shoes and placed them next to the bed, and then he slipped a light blanket over her body. He was careful to remain quiet when he closed the door behind him.

He went into his own room and disrobed as soon as he got inside. He took a long, steaming hot shower and had just pulled on some boxers when Bonnie's piercing scream put him on high alert. He raced out of his room and into hers, where he found her thrashing on the bed.

"Bonnie! Bonnie!" he called as he threw the blanket off of her and grabbed her flailing arms. Her forehead was dotted with sweat and her eyes were screwed shut as she continued to struggle.

"No, no!" she shouted.

"Bonnie, wake up!" he said. He pinned her hands above her head and when her eyes snapped open, her pupils were dilated and she looked confused and scared.

"No, no, no," she said, almost in tears. "Don't let her turn me."

"Hey, hey, come here," he said softly as he scooped her into his arms. She resisted at first, but then she settled down and her body went limp against his. He rubbed her back for a moment, and when he pulled away, her breathing had returned to normal and she looked more embarrassed than anything.

"What the hell was that?" he asked.

"It was just a nightmare," she said, trying to shirk away from him. But he didn't let her go. He lifted her chin and when their eyes met, he knew she was lying.

"Is this why you can't sleep? Have you been doing this every night?"

Bonnie hesitated with her answer at first, and then she nodded. Damon made her tell him the whole story and when she told him about how Lily was infiltrating her dreams and giving her nightmares every time she went to sleep, he gritted his teeth and jumped off the bed.

"I'm gonna kill her," he said as he marched to the door. Bonnie scrambled after him and got between him and the door.

"Don't," she said.

"Why the hell not? She's messing with your head after I specifically warned her not to go near you."

"You'll only make it worse," she said with round eyes. "She's got a group of people that are completely loyal to her and if you kill her, they all come after us. We have to figure out another way to stop this."

Damon pressed his lips together like he wasn't happy with her suggestion, but he huffed and moved away from the door.

"How long has this been going on?" he demanded to know.

"Since the bowling alley."

"The bowling alley?!" he nearly screamed. "That was weeks ago!"

"I thought I could handle it."

Out of nowhere, he punched a hole in the wall and turned to her with fury in his eyes.

"Damn it, Bonnie, you can't handle everything on your own! When are you going to learn that? You have to stop being such a sacrificial little lamb and let people help you when you need it."

He expected her to fight him about it, to tell him that she was the almighty Bennett witch and that there wasn't anything she couldn't do. But instead, she looked down at her feet and then back at him, looking more vulnerable than he ever saw her.

"I need your help, Damon."

Truthfully, he wanted to yell some more. He wanted to put her in her place and tell her that if she was going to teach him how to be a better friend, he was going to teach her how to treat herself better. He wanted to lecture her, scream at her, make her see that was worth more than she knew. But she looked so pitiful that he couldn't bring himself to do it.

"I can teach you how to guard your mind," he said, still irritated but a lot less angry. "I can help you learn how to keep her and any other vampire out of your head. It'll take some work, but I'm sure you can do it."

Bonnie nodded but then smiled sadly. "I guess there's no way you could teach me that tonight so I could actually get some sleep, is there?"

"No. But I know a way around that."

She waited for him to explain, but instead he took her hand and led her out of the guest room and into his room. He pulled back the covers on his bed and pointed.

"In," he directed.

"What..."

"In."

She didn't ask any more questions. She crawled into his California King sized bed and waited as he hit a button that lifted a TV from the foot of the bed. He got into the bed next to her and then turned to channel to Turner Classic Movies, where an old black and white film was already playing. Bonnie's lips curled into a slow smile and Damon patted his chest.

"If this doesn't get you to sleep, I don't know what will," he said.

"It's not the going to sleep that I'm worried about," she said.

"Here's the first thing you should know about blocking unwanted visitors from your brain. Your mind is much less vulnerable when you're feeling comfortable and safe."

"Are you saying that you make me feel comfortable and safe?" Bonnie asked.

"One way to find out."

He patted his chest again and Bonnie slid over to him. She wrapped her arms around his torso and rested her head on his chest and within minutes, she was asleep. Damon rubbed her back softly, occasionally stroking her hair, and he watched over her all night in case she had another nightmare.

She didn't.

And for that, he was going to tease the hell out of her.


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

When Bonnie woke up, the first thing she noticed was the scent of Old Spice. It was a scent that she had come to know very well after months of being with Damon in the prison world. She was in charge of laundry while they were there and she realized that no matter how many times she washed his clothes, the smell of his soap still infiltrated everything. After he and Kai were gone and she was left alone, she would sometimes bury her nose in his clothes just to feel like he was there with her again. It became a scent that she associated with happiness and hope.

With her eyes still closed and her mind groggy from sleep, she nuzzled closer to the source of the smell and her nose rubbed up against something that felt like skin. She frowned and slowly opened her eyes, only to find a sea of white staring back at her. Some white was from the pillow underneath half of her head, and the other portion was skin. Damon's skin. She sat up and looked at Damon, who was resting comfortably underneath her, reading a book.

"Oh, hey, look who decided to wake up," he said, not taking his eyes off his book.

Bonnie blinked a few times and tried to make sense of the situation. She had clearly been asleep on top of Damon and her body felt like it hadn't moved in while. She looked around to assess what was going on, and her memory slowly returned. She recalled having a nightmare and Damon bringing her to his bed. She remembered snuggling with him and falling asleep, and that was it.

"What time is it?" she asked in a deep, sleepy voice.

Damon reached for his phone on the nightstand and said casually, "one."

Bonnie's eyes widened. "PM?"

"Yep."

"Oh my God," she groaned. She ran a hand over her face and then crawled off of him and out of the bed. "I have class soon. I need to go," she said. She looked down at herself and saw that she was only wearing a big T-shirt. She whipped her head to Damon and asked, "where are my clothes?"

"You didn't look comfortable in those jeans," he said with a shrug. "So I changed you into something else. Don't worry. I didn't peek. Much." He smirked and wiggled his eyebrows.

"You are such a pervert," she said, looking around the room but not finding her clothes. "Seriously, I need to go."

"You already missed class, Bon-Bon," he said, returning his attention to his book.

"What? No I didn't. It starts at two."

"Yeah. On Friday. Today's Sunday."

Bonnie stopped what she was doing, right as she was lifting the bed skirt to see if her clothes were under there. Her eyes got impossibly bigger as she said, "Sunday? Like the day after Saturday?"

"Yep," he said, popping his 'p' obnoxiously.

"I've been asleep for three days?" she asked, her voice getting louder with each word.

"Yep."

"Oh my God!" she shouted. She alternated between frantically searching his room for her clothes and running her hands through her hair in an attempt to get herself together. "I have to get out of here. I have a test tomorrow and I haven't studied at all. Oh my God, I'm so screwed!"

"Forget the test," Damon said with a shrug. "I'll just compel your teacher into giving you an A."

"No, no compulsion." She groaned and spun around, throwing her hands in the air. "I can't believe you let me sleep that long! Why didn't you wake me up?"

"Gee, I don't know. Maybe because I just found out that you haven't been sleeping at all and I thought it would be nice and considerate of me to let you get as much rest as you could without nightmares or interruptions? My bad."

Bonnie sighed and dropped her hands. She scrubbed her face again and shook her head.

"I'm sorry," she said. "You're right. Thank you. I did need that rest. I'm just...stressed about this test tomorrow. I was supposed to study all weekend and now I'm going to be completely unprepared."

"You've got bigger things to worry about than a test," he said dryly.

"I know that, but studying and cramming for exams is part of what makes my life feel normal and not like I belong in some horror movie somewhere. I know it sounds stupid to you, but I need this. I want to have a life and a job whenever all this supernatural crap is over with, you know?"

Damon looked unimpressed, but he finally put his book down.

"Fine. I'll take you back to your place and you can study for a few hours, but then we're going to practice so you can learn to keep people out of your head. Deal?"

"Deal," she nodded.

"Good." He hopped off the bed and gestured to the bathroom. "I'll make you something to eat while you take a shower. Your clothes are in the top drawer. You're welcome."

Bonnie wasn't entirely sure what she was supposed to be thanking him for, until she opened the top drawer and found her clothes, washed and folded. She smiled and shook her head. "Oh, Damon," she said to herself. She laid the clothes on the bed and then helped herself to his shower, which felt like standing under several waterfalls. She reached for soap and only found his, but she didn't mind lathering up in that Old Spice smell that she loved so much.

When she stepped out and wrapped herself in a towel, she stood at his counter and checked herself out in the mirror. She couldn't believe she had slept so long, but she had to admit that she felt much better after so much rest. She looked better, too. Her eyes were brighter and her skin clearer. She dug out an extra toothbrush and brushed her teeth, and then got dressed. She instinctively reached for the phone that she kept in her pocket, only to find it empty. She frowned and looked around the room, and when she didn't find it, she padded down the stairs and into the kitchen, where Damon had made a pile of pancakes, of course.

"Hey have you seen my...?"

He held up the phone before she could finish the question.

"Caroline kept calling," he said as he sipped some coffee. "I didn't want her to wake you up so I confiscated the phone."

"Did you tell her where I was?"

"Oh yeah. I told her that you and I were in bed together all weekend." He grinned deviously and Bonnie rolled her eyes. "Did I lie?" he asked.

"Technically, no, but I'm sure if you said it like that, she got the wrong idea."

"Relax, Judgey, after she threatened to come here and 'pull my heart out of my ass,' her words not mine, I explained that it was totally innocent. I even sent her a video of you drooling and snoring so she could see exactly how unsexy the whole thing was."

"Wow, thanks, Damon. You know just what to say to a girl, don't you?"

"I try," he said with a wink.

She rolled her eyes again and took the phone to call Caroline back. Her friend answered on the third ring, and in her usual Caroline style, she skipped right over the formalities.

"Are you okay?" she asked. "Has Damon done something to you?"

"I'm fine, Care," Bonnie said with a light chuckle. "Believe it or not, I've been asleep all weekend and as far as I can tell, Damon was a gentleman." He wiggled his eyebrows and she decided to leave out the part about his undressing her.

"Hm, I guess. Are you coming back home today?"

"Yeah, I'm eating now and then we'll be on the way. I have that test tomorrow, remember? I'll probably have to pull an all-nighter just to get a halfway decent grade."

"Okay. Well, we'll talk when you get here."

After they hung up, Bonnie groaned. "Thanks, Damon," she said. "Now it sounds like I'm going to get a lecture from Caroline."

"Not my problem. Eat, so we can go."

Much to his surprise, she followed his directions. He smiled smugly as she wolfed down five pancakes and didn't complain about them once. They got into the Camaro and during the entire ride back to Whitmore, Bonnie was picking her nails, drumming her fingers on the door and biting her lip.

"Stop it," he said. "I can hear your worry all the way over here."

"I can't help it. I'm going to fail this test."

"If you go into it like that, you will. Haven't you ever heard of the power of positive thinking, Bennett?" She flipped him off and he smiled. "Just chill."

Of course, she didn't chill at all. She was anxious the whole way and once they were in her apartment, she booked it to her room and shut the door. Damon sighed and collapsed on the couch in the living room, where he watched TV for a few hours until Bonnie finally emerged from her room, looking defeated.

"How goes the studying?" he asked with a smirk.

"Terribly," she sighed. She picked up his legs that were spread on the couch, sat down, and put them on her lap. "I've been reading the same chapter over and over and I still have no idea what it says."

"That's because you need to learn how to relax, Bon-Bon. You're always so tense and worried about everything and everyone. Your mind is so cluttered, and that's why Lily can get into your head and why you can't concentrate."

Bonnie nodded slightly and arched an eyebrow at him. "I suppose you can help me learn to relax?"

"Duh. I used to be a meditation and yoga instructor."

"You?" she snorted. "Yeah, right."

"Why not? Having a bunch of hot sweaty chicks bent over and with their legs spread while I teach them to be more bendy?"

"And now I believe you."

He swung his legs off of her and cleared a space on the floor. He moved the coffee table to the side and held his hand out for Bonnie's phone. He called for some bacon and pineapple pizza, her favorite, and then sat down with his back to the couch and patted the space in between his legs.

"Come here," he said.

She looked wary but began to move. "What are you going to do?"

"I also used to be a massage therapist," he said, flexing his fingers for effect.

"Let me guess, for all the hot naked chicks?"

"Now you're catching on."

He patted the spot again and she tentatively sat down, but not before pointing an accusatory finger and at him and saying, "if you try to cop a feel, I'm making your brain explode."

"Don't flatter yourself, Bon-Bon. Your ass is nice but not that nice." He put his hands on her shoulders and said in her ear, "plus I already grabbed it a bunch while you were asleep, so I think I've had my fill." He laughed when she spun around and smacked his chest, but he made her turn back around and immediately cut off her attack when he massaged her shoulders. He could tell that the pressure was just right by the way she slumped into his hands like putty.

"Good?" he asked smugly.

"It's okay."

"Just try not to moan too much. It might make it awkward."

"Shut up and rub, Damon," she said.

Bonnie was surprised by how good he was at massage, but she supposed she shouldn't have been. As socially inept as he could be sometimes, he was always good at everything physical: hugging, cuddling, and, at least according to Elena, other things, too. She couldn't help the way her head drooped as his cool hands worked out the kinks in her neck and shoulders. And when he dug his thumbs into her back, she seriously contemplated writing him a 'thank you' note. She was on the verge of falling asleep when they heard keys in the door and Caroline walked in, pizza box in hand. The smile she was wearing slowly shrank as she looked at them.

"Hey," Caroline said slowly.

"Hey," Bonnie said with a sleepy smile. "I guess you caught the pizza guy?"

"Yeah, he was walking up here and I could smell the bacon and pineapples so I knew it was yours." She put the keys and pizza on the counter and gestured to them. "What's going on here?"

"Damon is helping me relax," Bonnie said she stood up. She groaned when she stretched and although her skin was little sore from his rubbing, it was the good kind of sore. "So I can learn how to keep Lily out of my mind."

"And generally because you need to pull that giant stick out of your ass and let loose sometimes," he chimed in. "If you keep worrying so much, you'll get a forehead as big as Stefan's."

"Hey," Caroline and Bonnie said at the same time.

Damon shrugged. "Bring me a piece of that pizza."

"Your mother taught you how to say 'please,' right?" Bonnie asked.

"You've met my mother."

"Good point."

Bonnie scooted into the kitchen and pulled out some paper plates. She put two slices on each and was about to walk out when Caroline got in her way, arms folded.

"What's up?"

"Are you okay?" Caroline asked lowly. "I mean, Damon didn't do anything to you, did he?"

"No. He actually helped me. That was probably the best sleep I've gotten in months."

Caroline frowned like she was unconvinced.

"Be careful with him," she warned.

"Care," Bonnie said with a soft smile, "Damon and I are friends now. We're good. I trust him. He's not going to do anything to hurt me. And if he does, you have my permission to pull his heart out of his ass."

Caroline's face morphed into a grin and they burst into laughter. Once she was at least temporarily sure that Damon was on the up-and-up, the three of them ate pizza and talked, which mostly included Caroline and Damon bickering and Bonnie playing peacekeeper, only then to bicker with Damon, too. They went their separate ways when Bonnie started yawning and Caroline excused herself to her room.

"Come on, Bennett, time for you to go to bed," Damon said.

"But I should at least try to study," she said weakly.

"You've been to class and paid attention. You'll be fine. Let's go."

"Let's?" she asked.

"I assumed I was spending the night, unless you want to have nightmares again."

She held out her hand to the bedroom and said "after you." She made a pit stop to the bathroom to brush her teeth. She had already changed into fresh pajamas earlier and when she went to her room, she found Damon nestled on top of her comforter, hands behind his head like he owned the place.

"I probably have some of Jeremy's old clothes around here if you want to put them on," she offered.

"No thanks. It's a man law that you can't sleep in another man's clothes."

She raised an eyebrow and folded her arms. "Oh yeah? Then how do you plan to sleep?"

"Well, I usually sleep in the buff."

"Try again."

"Boxers?"

"Nope."

"You're not leaving me with many options here, Bon-Bon. And you didn't seem to mind my state of undress when you were all over me this weekend."

"I was unconscious, remember?" she asked. She dug through a couple of drawers and said a triumphant 'ah ha!' when she pulled out some black pajama pants and a white T-shirt. She tossed them to him. "Those are yours. No man laws broken."

He narrowed his eyes at her but didn't accuse her of being a thief. He excused himself to the bathroom and he turned off the lights when he returned. He turned on the TV to the old movie station, of course, and lay on his back. Bonnie curled up to him on her side and wrapped her arm around his torso. She hesitated but then lay her leg across him, too.

"Is that okay?" she asked. "I'm more comfortable this way."

"Yeah, that's okay."

They rested in comfortable silence and a smile crept across Bonnie's lips. There was something so comforting about their embrace. She idly thought that it was no wonder that she had slept for three days, and then she popped her head up and looked at him.

"Hey, I meant to ask you something," she said.

"Mm hm?"

"Did you stay in the bed with me that whole time? All three days?"

"I got up a few times for blood bags and showers and stuff. But yeah, for the most part, I stayed there."

Bonnie looked at his blue eyes, which seemed to glow from the black and white lighting of the TV screen, and he frowned.

"What?" he asked.

"That was really sweet of you," she said. "You can actually be very sweet when you want to be."

His frown turned into a smirk. "Just don't tell anyone. It'll ruin my reputation."

She smiled and rested her head on his chest again. "Trust me, your secret is safe."

They returned their attention to the movie and once Damon slipped his fingers into her hair and rubbed her scalp, she was out like a light.

 **...**

The next morning, Caroline woke up at her usual time and did her whole morning routine. She pulled out nearly everything in her closets and drawers before settling on a cute top and skirt for the day. She did her hair and makeup and walked into the living room, expecting to see Bonnie sipping some coffee or looking at her notes. But the living room was empty. Caroline checked her watch to make sure that it was, in fact, nearly nine o'clock. She thought that maybe Bonnie had already left to get to class early for her test, but a quick listen into the other bedroom confirmed that her roommate was still asleep. She knocked on the door and when Bonnie didn't answer, Caroline let herself in, mouth open and ready for a loud wake-up call.

But her words stopped in her throat when she took in the sight of Bonnie and Damon sleeping together. And not just in the same bed. Their bodies were so entangled that if it weren't for the stark difference in their skin colors, Caroline wouldn't have been able to tell where one stopped and the other started. For one, Bonnie was on top of Damon. Like, completely on top of him. Her head was buried in the crook of his neck, arms wrapped around his chest, one leg resting on top of his and the other hooked around his waist. Damon's hand was on her back, fingers just shy of touching her butt, and the other hand was in her hair.

Caroline knew that they had spent the weekend together but the image of it in person stopped her cold. She didn't know how to feel about it. And as much as she wanted to find out what was going on in Bonnie's head, she knew it wasn't the time.

"Bonnie," she said. She cleared her throat and said much louder, "Bonnie!"

Bonnie's head popped up and she looked around, confused. "What? What's happening?"

"You have a test in about five minutes," Caroline told her.

Once that information sank in, Bonnie's eyes widened. "Oh shit!"

She jumped up from the bed, waking Damon in the process, and as she ran to the bathroom and did the world's fastest tooth brushing and hair fixing, he groaned and squinted his eyes.

"What's going on?" he asked, still halfway asleep.

"Bonnie has a test and didn't set her alarm," Caroline told him. She folded her arms and glared at him. "Probably because she was too busy fooling around with you."

Her words were intended to annoy him or at least get a rise out of him, but they failed miserably. He made a 'hmph' sound and turned onto his stomach. He pulled the covers over his head and grumbled something about leaving him alone. Bonnie raced back into the room and threw on a hoodie on top of her pajamas.

"Oh my God, I'm so screwed!" she said.

"I'll run you there in time," Caroline offered.

"Oh, thank you, Care. You're a lifesaver."

"Shut the door on your wait out!" Damon said from underneath the covers.

Bonnie rolled her eyes but shut the door when they left. Once they were out in the hallway, she hopped onto Caroline's back and they sped to the back of the astronomy building.

"Thanks. I'll see you later," Bonnie said as she ran into her class.

Caroline sped to her own class, but it was hard for her to pay attention because her mind was preoccupied by Damon and Bonnie. She didn't want to jump to conclusions but she also wasn't blind. Her fingers itched to text Bonnie, but she didn't want to disturb her during the test. So after her class ended, she did text her and ask to meet for lunch, which Bonnie agreed to. They both had a class in between, but once that was finished, Caroline met her best friend at the student union. Bonnie was already at a table, eating a chicken sandwich and fries.

"How'd it go?" Caroline asked.

"Not as bad as I thought it would," Bonnie said with a happy smile. "I think I got a solid B."

"Good."

"Mm hm. So what have you been up to?"

Caroline tried to tell her about her weekend, she really did, but the questions just wouldn't go away until she got some things off her chest.

"What the hell is up with you and Damon?"

Bonnie looked surprised. "What do you mean?"

"I know we kinda talked about this last night, but what's up with you two being all close now? You spend all your time with him and it looks to me like maybe something is going on." Bonnie opened her mouth to speak but Caroline interrupted her. "And I'm not judging you, if that's what you think. I'm not. I'm confused."

"There's nothing going on, I promise. We're friends. I'm sure that's weird for you because you weren't really around when we came back and you haven't seen us together where we don't just fight constantly."

"Is that it? Because you spent the whole weekend sleeping with him in his bed. And then I walked in on you guys looking awfully cozy on the floor while we gave you a massage. And then, this morning! You should have seen how you two looked."

Bonnie shook her head. "I'm sure it looked some kind of way, but it's not. The sleeping together thing is only a temporary solution until I can figure out how to defend myself against Lily. That's all."

"Are you sure, Bonnie?" Caroline asked, her eyes wide with concern. "Because you know I've given this a lot of thought and I can already see how this going to go."

"I'm afraid to ask."

"I know you're going to call me a neurotic freak for saying this, but here goes. I think that you're not going to stop sleeping with him, even after you figure out how to protect yourself. It's been a long time since you had someone to snuggle with at night, and it probably feels good having Damon there. He's all possessive and protective and he smells good, and you're not going to want to let that go."

"Care..."

"You guys will keep it friendly for a while. Until one morning, you wake up and there's a boner sticking in your back. Or your stomach. Or wherever it's sticking depending on how you're sleeping. Anyway, you're gonna notice it and it's gonna feel good because it's been too long since you had sex. You'll briefly think about being friends with benefits with Damon but you won't do that because you're not that type of girl and he's still in love with Elena. So you'll find someone else to do it with and Damon will become crazy jealous. You two will fight about it and then you'll both realize that all this time you've been hanging out and cuddling each other at night, your feelings aren't just friendly. And then you'll start banging like bunnies."

"Caroline..." Bonnie said, trying to stop the train wreck but knowing it was unstoppable.

"And sometime during all this banging, you'll realize that you're in love with him or that you've always been in love with him and you want more. He might even realize that he loves you, too, but there's the problem of Elena because he's still in love with her. You'll try to get past it, but you won't. And then you'll pack up your stuff, move to some boring place filled with boring people, settle down with someone who's not as exciting or handsome as Damon, but he'll do because he treats you well and he's never met Elena. And even though you act like you're happy, you're still in love with Damon and your broken heart will never heal."

She finally took a breath, and Bonnie blinked at her several times and put her sandwich down.

"Wow."

"I'm sorry, I just had to say it."

Bonnie nodded slowly and was silent for a few minutes before she reached over and took Caroline's hands in hers.

"Care, I love you for worrying about me. I really do. It's nice to know that someone cares enough about me to create this insane scenario in the span of one morning." Caroline laughed in spite of herself and Bonnie did, too. "I promise you, Damon and I are only friends. He's helping me and I really do need him. All that stuff you just said, won't happen. I am fully aware that at the end of the day, he's always going to love Elena and I hope they end up having a happy life together. I don't feel that way about him, okay?"

Caroline nodded and squeezed Bonnie's hands. "But if that changes, you'll tell me, right?"

"I swear. If my feelings for Damon ever change to something more than friendship, you'll be the first to know."


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

 _October 11, 2013_

 _Dear Elena,_

 _I'm so sorry that it's been so long since I last wrote you. Things around here have been kind of hectic. Between studying for midterms and trying to figure out this situation with Lily, I've been preoccupied. I'll try to write more often._

 _The good news it that the nightmares have stopped. Damon and I kind of came up with a somewhat strange solution to the problem. Apparently, deep in my subconscious...very, very, very deep...I feel safe when he's around. I know that's weird. Caroline think it's weird. You probably think it's weird, considering our history. Damon hasn't exactly been my knight in shining armor, but that time we spent in the prison world together changed our relationship. We still fight and snark and argue (mostly because I think Damon enjoys it and thinks it's funny), but underneath it all, I trust him. I let my guard down when he's there. Completely against my will, he has become my best friend._

 _Anyway, I'm sure you're wondering what the solution is. Please don't freak out about this because it will sound crazy when you first read it. But the nightmares stop when we sleep together. And no, I don't mean sex! He just literally sleeps in the bed next to me and keeps watch during the night. He has been very smug about it, I assure you. And besides, I wouldn't do that to you and neither would he._

 _This arrangement won't last forever, either. We're only doing it until I can learn to control my own mind and keeping wandering vampires out. We have been doing lessons for the past week, but it's mostly been about Damon teaching me how to breathe and block everything out, like meditation. He's actually good at it when he tries. He always seems so frenetic, like he has to be doing something at every moment, but he can be calm and quiet too._

 _Caroline and Stefan are still circling the drain with each other. Damon thinks we should go on a "double date" and then ditch them so they have to talk to each other. It's not his worst idea. I might agree to it._

 _We all miss you._

 _I'll do better about writing._

 _Bon_

She had just put her pen down and closed the journal when her bedroom door swung open and Damon sauntered in. He was sipping on a blood bag when he plopped onto her bed and crossed his legs at the ankles.

"Hey there, witchy," he said.

"Is that Caroline's blood bag? You know she'll kill you if she finds out you took it."

"I'll replace it," he said, making a 'duh' face at her.

"Mm hm," she said with a roll of her eyes. She pulled off her hoodie and climbed onto the bed with her knees. She rested next to him and asked, "how was your day?"

"It was okay. I made some progress with Ric. He actually let me into his apartment. He didn't say anything for three hours, but at least he accepted my company. That's a step in the right direction, right?"

"I'd say so."

"What about you?" he asked with a nudge from his shoulder. "How was class?"

"Good. I really like my anthropology class. Maybe when this is all said and done and I'm living a normal life, I'll be an anthropology professor."

"So you're gonna teach students how to dig up fossils and stuff? Sounds boring."

"That's _archaeology_ , moron."

"Whatever," he said with a wave of his hand. "They're both lame. You should do something fun. Like become a magician. And since you can do actual magic, you could get rich and famous and live the good life."

"That's cheating, Damon."

"Everyone who got anywhere cheated to get there, Bon-Bon."

She shook her head at him and said, "it's sad that you think that."

"And it's stupid that you don't."

She narrowed her eyes at him and she could tell that they were about to get into an argument, but that was cut off when there was a knock. They looked up to see Caroline standing in the doorway, her hand still on the door frame. She smiled at Bonnie, but frowned at Damon.

"Don't you have a home?" she asked.

"Aww, Blondie, are you jelly because I stole Bonnie as your BFF 5-eva?" he asked, wrapping an arm around Bonnie.

"No, I'm _jelly_ because you're always here, drinking my blood bags!" She spotted the empty blood bag on the nightstand and narrowed her eyes at him. "Is that mine?"

"No," he said, very unconvincingly. Before he could try to hide it, Caroline sped to it, picked it up and pressed her lips together in annoyance.

"AB Negative. My favorite. What a coincidence, since I just...ran...out!" she said, beating Damon in the arm with the empty bag with every word.

"Ow, stop it."

"Told you," Bonnie said.

"God, you're irritating!" Caroline said. She threw the bag in his face. "You're going to start paying rent around here, or else the next time I see your ugly face, I'm breaking off the closest piece of wood and sending you to your maker."

She twirled and left the room in a huff, and Damon held his hand to his chest in exaggerated shock.

"Ugly?" he asked.

"Be nice to Caroline," Bonnie told him. "Please?"

"I've been perfectly nice."

"You've been drinking her blood bags, taking obnoxiously long showers and parading around with hardly any clothes on."

"What's your point?"

She pursed her lips at him, and then turned her body to rest on him like she usually did when it was time for sleep.

"Listen, I like having you here, but I don't want this to be a problem for Caroline. This is her home, too, and she should be comfortable. I don't want to be like those girls with really annoying boyfriends that always sleep over and leave a mess and their roommates end up hating them."

He wrapped his other arm around her and rested his chin on top of her head. "So I'm your boyfriend?" he teased.

"You know what I mean. Just be nice to her."

"Okay, fine. I'll _apologize_." He said the word like it burned his tongue.

"Thank you."

"Whatever," he grumbled, and she squeezed him in response. "Up." She rolled off of him so that he could disrobe down to his boxers and he turned off the lights and turned on the TV. He flipped through the channels until Bonnie made him stop on 'American Ninja Warrior,' their newest favorite show. He got back into his spot on the bed and she curled up to him. They were silent for a while, before he asked her a question.

"What were you writing when I came in?"

"Hmm?"

"You were writing in that little book on your desk. Is that homework or something?"

"Oh, no, that's my journal for Elena. She wanted me to write down everything that's happening so when she wakes up, it will feel like she was here. She was especially interested in hearing about you."

"Hmm," he said, as his finger traced up and down a small patch of the skin on her arm. "What all have you told her?"

"Everything," she said with a shrug.

"You told her about this? About our arrangement?"

"Yeah." She looked up at him and placed her chin on his chest. "Why, do you think I shouldn't have?"

"No. I mean, yes. I mean, no I don't think you should keep it from her or anything. I'm just wondering if, you know, she'd be mad about us sleeping together every night."

Bonnie thought about it for a second and shook her head. "I don't think she'd be mad. If I thought that, I wouldn't be doing it. You know that. I think she would be happy that you're helping me and that her two favorite people are getting along. She always wanted us to be close, and now we are."

"And it only took her dying for us to get there."

He said in his usual joking, sarcastic tone, but she could tell from the look on his face that it bothered him. She reached up and held his cheek. "Are you okay?" she asked quietly. "I know we haven't talked about Elena much, but I don't want you to think that we can't."

"There's nothing to talk about. She's not here and you are, and I wouldn't change that. You deserve to be here."

She smiled softly. "But you miss her."

"Yeah."

She nodded in understanding and snuggled him again. She gave him a reassuring squeeze and said, "I miss her, too." They fell into silence for a while, other than a few comments about the competitors on American Ninja Warrior, until Bonnie popped her head again.

"Hey, do you want to go to a Halloween party with me?"

"I'm a little old for a children's party, don't you think?"

"Like that's stopped you before."

"Touche."

"Caroline's been talking about it a lot and I was thinking that this could be our opportunity to secretly hook her up with Stefan. We'll all go and get drunk and we can kind of push them together, you know?"

"I suppose that's not a horrible idea. As long as we don't have to have matching outfits."

"Oh, come on, that's half the fun. You can't just show up in your leather jacket and claim that you're James Dean or a brooding vampire. I hope you're not that unimaginative."

"Fine, what do you want to go as? Ketchup and mustard?"

"No," she said with a laugh. "Something fun, like...I don't know. Frankenstein and the bride of Frankenstein."

"So first, I was your annoying boyfriend and now, you're my bride. Are you trying to tell me something?"

"You wish."

"Okay, I'll go with you, on one condition." She raised an eyebrow. "Wear something slutty."

 **...**

The Halloween Party was held at a bar near the Whitmore campus. The place was packed with drunk, sweaty co-eds dressed like everything from Batman to a slug. Stefan leaned against the bar, scanning the crowd. When Damon told him about the party, he had hesitated at first, only because he'd been to enough drunken Halloween parties to last several lifetimes. When he realized that Caroline would be present, though, he changed his mind. He didn't put much effort into a costume, which she noticed as soon as she walked up to him.

"And what exactly are you supposed to be?" she asked with a standard Caroline you-didn't-live-up-to-my-expectations frown.

He ran a hand over his leather jacket and then through the hair that he had dyed black for the night.

"Damon," he answered.

Caroline chortled. "Wow, really?"

"He didn't seem to think it was funny, either."

She turned to rest her elbows on the counter while they quietly people-watched. He followed her gaze to the couple in the middle of the dance floor: Bonnie and Damon. They were somewhat hard to miss, given that Bonnie had a huge black wig with a white streak down the middle of it and Damon was painted green with fake bolts coming out of his neck. They were dancing to some slow song that both of them apparently knew the words to, because they were singing and laughing and looking just as intoxicated as everyone else.

"I can't believe he actually wore that costume," Stefan said.

"Please, Bonnie's got him wrapped around her finger," Caroline said. "He would have worn a diaper if she told him to. What I can't believe is that they haven't gotten tired of each other yet."

"They're good together," he said with a little nod. "They're very yin and yang, you know? They have a good balance."

"I guess. Not all of us need a daily dose of Damon, though."

"Well, if he's driving you crazy, you could always come stay with me at the boarding house."

"Is that a good idea?" she asked with a tilt of her head.

"Of course. I'll be a perfect gentleman."

The slow smile on her face told him that she would consider it. She bumped him with her shoulder, and he returned the gesture. Their eyes fell on Bonnie and Damon again. Damon's hands were on her hips and hers were around his neck. They talked about something but it was too much other noise for Stefan to hear it.

"I guess he's not that bad," Caroline said after a few minutes. "Now that he stopped drinking my blood bags. I came home one day and he had made up my bed and cleaned the whole apartment. It was kind of sweet." She pointed a finger at Stefan. "Don't tell him I said that."

He chuckled and held his hands up in a silent gesture of agreement. He tipped his chin toward the dancing couple.

"They're kind of cute together, aren't they?" he asked.

Caroline sighed and nodded. "I hate to admit it, but yes."

"You think they'll ever...?" He didn't finish the sentence but he wiggled his hand around.

"Oh yeah, definitely," she said confidently. "I give it six months, tops."

Stefan laughed. "I don't know about six months. I was thinking more like a year, maybe."

"You haven't seen them sleep together. They'll be lucky to last six months."

"You want to put a wager on that?" he asked.

Her dimples appeared when she smiled slyly. "What kind of wager?"

"Well, if they do anything together between now and...what's six months from now...April 30?"

"May 1. April and February are short months."

"Fine, May 1st. If they do anything with each other between now and May 1st, you win. But if they mess around any time between May 2nd and Halloween of next year, I win."

She raised an eyebrow. "Define 'mess around.'"

He thought for a minute. "Sex, obviously."

"Obviously."

"But other than that, I'd say kissing. Like real kissing, not pecks on the lips."

Caroline narrowed her eyes in contemplation. "What do I get if I win?"

"What do you want?"

"Shoes," she said with hesitation. "Outrageously expensive, impractical shoes."

"Okay," he said with a laugh. "But if I win, I want a date." Her eyebrows rose. "One date. You and me. No guilt allowed." He offered his hand. "Deal?"

She looked at Bonnie and Damon again, who appeared to be wrapped up in their own little bubble, and then took Stefan's hand. "Easiest pair of shoes I ever got."

Meanwhile, Bonnie pulled away from Damon for the first time in the two hours that they had been tearing it up on the dance floor.

"Hey, where are you going?" he asked.

"Bathroom. Be right back."

"Fine, but I can't promise some other lady won't swoop in and take your place."

"Yeah right, as if you could replace me," she said with a smile.

She pushed and squeezed her way through the crowd of people until she found the restroom all the way on the other side of the club. She pushed the door open and was happy to find that there was no wait. In fact, it appeared that she was the only person there. She did her business in the stall and after washing her hands, she looked at herself in the mirror and smiled. Her makeup was still pretty much intact and her wig looked good, as ridiculous as it was. She'd worn the tightest black dress she could find, Damon's orders, of course.

But it wasn't really the outfit or even the party that was making her smile. It was that she felt free and loose for the first time in a while. She was sure that the two Long Island Iced Teas had quite a bit to do with that, but it felt good to not worry so much, for once. She was happy to just be a college kid at a party, drinking a little too much and having fun with her friends. Normalcy was the one thing she craved and having a little taste of it was intoxicating.

"You've been avoiding me, Bonnie."

Bonnie's happy thoughts crashed like a broken mirror as she jumped at the sound of someone else's voice. She spun around and found Lily only a few feet away from her. Her heart thumped at a million miles a minute as the older woman smiled at her.

"I've been trying to reach you, but you're blocking me from your mind. That's awfully rude," Lily said.

"What are you doing here?" Bonnie asked with a shaky voice. "What do you want?"

"You know what I want. You."

"I don't want to be one of your witchpires."

"I know that," Lily said with a little shrug. "And that's why I haven't already forced you to drink my blood and killed you. Because I want you to come to me on your own. I want you to want it, Bonnie. We'd be a much better team if you come voluntarily."

Bonnie briefly closed her eyes and shook her head, hoping that maybe it was all a drunk hallucination or that somehow she was dreaming. But when she opened her eyes, Lily was still there, looking eerily calm.

"I realize that when I approached you about this in your dreams, I used the wrong motivation. I realize now that you're not the type of girl who's after power or material things. Becoming a heretic to grow stronger and gain unimaginable power doesn't appeal to you, does it?" She didn't give Bonnie the chance to answer. "But I know what does. Eternal love. You've been abandoned by all your family and most of your friends at some point or another. You just want some kind of real, true, everlasting love. Isn't that right, Bonnie?"

Bonnie pressed her lips together and said through gritted teeth, "you don't know me."

"Don't I? I know that your mother left you when you were a child. I know that your father was never around. I know that your grandmother is dead, your best friend is in a coma that she will only wake from upon your death, and I know you've never had a meaningful romantic relationship in your young life."

Lily came closer and Bonnie scooted back as far as she could, but it didn't stop Lily from touching her cheek.

"I could give that to you," she whispered. "I could give you that thing you crave the most: companionship that will last for your entire life. I could give him to you, Bonnie."

Bonnie didn't know who the "him" was that Lily was referring to, but she didn't want to find out. She smacked the woman's hand down and pushed her away.

"Get away from me."

She sent a powerful aneurysm Lily's way, but the vampire didn't even quiver. Bonnie tried again, with the same result.

Lily only smiled in amusement. "As you can see, I've become very tolerant of your little headache spells. I've had some of my friends practice them on me for the last few weeks so I could prepare for this encounter with you." She shook her head. "It's a shame, really. All that magic, all that power pent up inside of you, and you have no clue what to do with it."

She reached for the door, opened it, and then said over her shoulder, "let me know when you're ready to talk."

Bonnie stood in a scared, shocked stupor for a few moments before she pulled herself together and hightailed it out of the bathroom. She ran straight into Damon, who held her arms and moved back to look at her.

"I was about to check to make sure you hadn't fallen in," he said. He got a good look at her and his flags immediately went up. "Hey, are you okay?"

"She was in there with me," she said. "Lily was there."

Damon's head snapped around in all directions to spot her, but he didn't. He turned his attention back to Bonnie and looked her over a few times. "Did she hurt you?"

"No, no, I'm okay. I just..."

She shook her head, and he pulled her into for a hug. She embraced him tightly and asked him to take her home. He held her closely and when they found Caroline and Stefan, Damon explained the situation. Caroline was ready to leap into action right then, but Bonnie assured her that she just wanted to go home. She got into the car with Damon and didn't say a word all the way to the apartment. Even after they were inside, she was silent as she removed her makeup and wig and outfit. She curled underneath the blanket on her bed as Damon scrubbed the green paint off his face and changed clothes.

"Are you okay?" he asked again as he climbed into the bed with her.

"Yeah," she said quietly.

"Well that was a test and you failed. You're obviously not okay. Are you going to tell me what happened or are you just gonna lay there and sulk all night?"

She pressed the back of her head into the pillow and stared up at the ceiling.

"I'm not strong enough," she admitted in a low voice. He propped himself up on an elbow and rested on his side so she had his full attention. "I tried to give Lily an aneurysm and she didn't even flinch. She told me that I have all this power and I don't know what to do with it, and she's right. I don't. I've been making it up as I go along. She could have turned me in that bathroom tonight and there would have been nothing I could do to stop it."

"So we'll train," Damon said. "I'll train you to be the baddest witch that ever walked this planet."

"What do you know about training witches?"

"Please. I know all about it, Bon-Bon. Don't you worry."

She cracked a small smile. "Yoga, meditation, and witch training. You're just a jack of all trades, aren't you?"

"And a master of all, too," he said. He hooked his arm around her and turned her body away from him. He pulled her into him so that they were spooning, Bonnie being the little spoon, of course. "Now forget her and get some rest. Tomorrow, I make a Bennett out of you."


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Damon hadn't lied about training the very next day. The sun was hardly out before he was up and rousing Bonnie out of sleep. He told her to get up and he took a shower. When he returned and she was still asleep, he ripped the covers off of her, smacked her butt and dragged her into the shower. She grumbled at him but reluctantly stood under the spray that was still running. She was just waking up when she went to her bedroom to find that Damon had already laid her out some clothes: yoga pants, tennis shoes, a thin shirt and a hoodie.

"What the hell are we doing today?" she asked, pulling her shoes on her feet as she walked into the kitchen.

Damon put out a plate of eggs, bacon and pancakes, as well as a glass of orange juice. "Training," he said.

"Yeah, but since when does magic training require me to dress like I'm running a marathon?"

"Oh, Bon-Bon, you have so much to learn," he said with a smile that made her nervous. "Eat. You'll need your energy."

"You're scaring me." He came from behind the counter and she saw that he, too, was in tennis shoes, as well as some long shorts and a white shirt. "And what are you wearing? I've never seen you in anything remotely athletic."

"There's a lot to learn about me, sweet cheeks, and you're gonna learn today. Less talk-y, more eat-y."

Bonnie frowned at him the entire time she ate, even though it was one of his better meals. She frowned even more when she saw him down three blood bags and pack a couple more in a cooler, as well as a sandwich for her. He clapped his hands in a "chop, chop" motion and ushered her out of the door. He drove them to a park about twenty minutes away and once they were out of the car, he started jogging in place.

"All right. Three miles. Let's do it," he said.

Her jaw dropped. "Three miles? What the hell are you talking about? I thought we were training for _magic_. What does this have to do with _magic_?"

"Magic is taxing on your body. And just like any other exercise, you need to be in good physical shape if you expect to do it right. So come on, move those perky buns and let's run."

He jogged off ahead of her, and Bonnie stood there in a disbelief for a moment before she gritted her teeth and ran after him. The first half mile wasn't that bad, actually. It was kind of invigorating to be out in the cool autumn air, early in the morning, feeling alive. She almost apologized for complaining. But once they hit a mile, that feeling wore off. After two miles, she stopped and leaned over, huffing.

"Fuck you," she said in between breaths.

"Up, up, up," he said. Damon took her arms and made her stand up, with her arms behind her head. "You're a former cheerleader. You should know that the best way to get oxygen into your lungs is to stand, not bend over like some fat chain smoker."

"I hate you."

"You love me. Come on, keep going."

Bonnie groaned but starting running again. Damon was in front of her, running backwards so that they were facing each other.

"You know, for someone with such a bodacious bod, you're kind of out of shape," he noted.

"Gee, I wonder why," she said, chugging air like she would never get it again. "I've been too busy trying to save all our friends and somehow, I forgot to hit the gym regularly!"

"Oh, pish posh," he said with a wave of his hand.

"Pish posh? Who are you and what have you done with Damon? Oh wait, let me guess, you were also a former drill sergeant in your past lives."

"Could have been," he said with a shrug. "Until that damn Lexie talked me out of joining Stefan in the military. That would been fun for me, you know? Traveling, sexing up a lot of hot foreign women, killing people."

"Do you even know what you're doing? Or did you stay up all night, Googling ways to torture me?"

"Honey, Google ain't got nothing on me," he smirked. "And of course I know what I'm doing. You think you're the first witch I've whipped into shape? Please. I've trained some of the finest out there. Although there training was strenuous in different ways." He wiggled his eyebrows and Bonnie rolled her eyes.

"Have you ever met a woman that you didn't bang?"

"Hmmm...no." He grinned as he continued his backwards running pace. "Except you, of course. But we have time to change that."

"I'm too tired to even be disgusted by that right now."

"Only a half mile to go, grasshopper. You can do it."

Although her chest was burning, her thighs were on fire, and her butt muscles were screaming in pain, Bonnie found a way to pull out the last half mile. When Damon told her that she could stop, she collapsed onto the grass and heaved in and out.

"Come here," he said. Damon sat behind her and spread his legs to pull her into the space. He pulled her back to his chest, making her sit up and breathe. "There you go, in and out." He pulled a Gatorade out of his ice pack and handed it to her. She chugged it down in several gulps and then sighed and pressed her head into his chest.

"Oh my God, that was brutal."

"It'll get easier the more we do it."

"I am _not_ doing this again."

"Yes you are. Tomorrow, and the day after that, and every day until you're like a lean mean witchy machine."

She groaned but didn't fight him on it. He produced a blood bag for himself and gave her a protein bar. She took a big bite but grimaced when she chewed.

"This tastes like shit," she said.

"That means it's good for you."

She turned her head to narrow her eyes at him, but she didn't comment as she watched him drink the blood. He noticed her interest and when he finished, he tossed the bag.

"What?" he asked.

"Is it that bad? The blood lust, I mean."

He raised an eyebrow. "Why do you ask?"

"I'm just wondering. You know, in case something happens to me and I have to turn...I'm just curious." She leaned her head against him again. "So is it?"

He didn't answer at first, and the silence between them was filled with the sounds of birds chirping and little squirrels scurrying through the trees.

"Yes," he finally said.

"Wow, thanks for sugarcoating it for me."

She could hear him smile. "It's bad. It's pretty much always this hunger, this need, you know? No matter how hard you try, you kind of always want to drain the nearest person to you, even if you love them. But you learn to control it, mostly. Unless you're Stefan. Or my mother, apparently."

"Hm," was her response. "So is it hard for you to sleep with me? Do you want to drink my blood the whole time?"

"Yep," he said simply. "But I don't. Because you smell good. And you have a nice rump."

Bonnie snorted and gently pressed her elbow into his ribs. They sat quietly for a while, as she recovered from their impromptu run.

"Do you think I'd be a good witchpire?" she asked quietly. She craned her head so she could see him when he answered, and he smiled at her.

"I think you'd be a kick-ass witchpire."

She smiled and he kissed her cheek, before hopping up and holding his hands out for her.

"Break time's over."

"What? We've been sitting for like, five minutes!"

"Yep and if you sit too long, your muscles will get cold."

She reluctantly took his hands and for the next few hours, he worked her like she was training for some kind of decathlon. They didn't run anymore, but he made her do push-ups, sit-ups and every other kind of exercise he could think of. When it was time to do some actual magic, he started small by having her levitate easy things: leaves, birds, the ice bag. She set a couple of things on fire and quickly extinguished them, all with her magic. They took a lunch break and then got right back to it.

As the sun wore down, she figured that they were about to call it a day. But then Damon pointed to a huge tree and said, "pull that tree up by the roots."

"What?" she asked, exhausted beyond belief. "That tree trunk is at least twenty feet around and looks like it's five hundred years old! I can't do that."

"And there's your problem, Bonnie," he said in a sing-song voice. "You're going into it defeated and therefore you won't be able to do it. But let me remind you that you're a Bennett and you have Qetisyah's magic running through your veins. Literally the oldest magic on the planet, running in your judgey little body. Use it."

Bonnie sighed and rubbed her face. Her head hurt and she felt like she could fall out on the ground and sleep right there without a problem.

"I don't know the spell for something that big," she said in an irritated voice.

"You don't need a spell. Despite what you've been taught, magic is not about spells and incantations and special ingredients. You don't need dragon's toenails and virgin's breath to put in some big pot. All you need is to think it, and you can do it. But you have to believe you can do it. So show me that you can. Show yourself that you can."

She wanted to fight him on it, complain, and whine. But she knew it would get her nowhere. Despite his heavy-handed methods, he was trying to help and she knew she would be better off for it. So she stuffed another tasteless protein bar into her mouth and sat down, cross-legged. She breathed in and out slowly, using the meditation techniques that they had been working on. She got herself into a good mental zone, and then she focused.

Bonnie tried to remember what he said as she thought about the tree. She didn't need magic words or special trinkets. She only needed to think it hard enough. So in her mind's eye, she saw the tree and she willed it to move. She chanted the word "lift" over and over in her head, pushing herself as hard as she could. She felt something rumble and when she opened her eyes, she saw the tree limbs shaking. The trunk didn't budge, but it was a start.

"Okay, that's enough," Damon said, holding up his hand.

"I can do more," she said, not wanting to disappoint him. But then he leaned down and wiped under her nose. He had blood on his thumb and she quickly touched for herself and found that her nose was bleeding. He sucked the blood off his finger and helped her up.

"That's enough for today. You did well. We'll work on it tomorrow."

"We can't get an off day or something? My body hurts."

He smirked but then bit into his wrist and offered it to her. She frowned. "It'll make you feel better and it'll stop the nose bleed." She reluctantly accepted his wrist and almost gagged when she took a few sips of his blood. She wasn't sure she would ever get used to that. Still, she did feel better afterwards, so she didn't complain. He slung the ice bag over his shoulder and they made the trek back to the car.

"Thanks for today," she said, once they were on their way back home. "I know I gave you a hard time, but I appreciate it."

"I'm glad."

She relaxed in her leather seat and watched the scenery as they headed back to her apartment. She sat up and looked at Damon, though, as he took a detour onto some roads that she wasn't familiar with.

"Where are we going?"

"You're feeling better, right?" he asked, staring at the road ahead.

"Yeah..." she said slowly. "What are you doing, Damon?"

"I think maybe you need some different motivation to get your magic out." He still wouldn't look at her and she started to feel nervous. "The workout was good but you're more the type of witch that responds to pressure and danger."

"No, seriously, Damon, what are you doing?" Bonnie asked, as a level of panic began to rise.

He took his eyes off of the road momentarily and looked at her. "Don't hate me, okay? Remember that I'm trying to help."

Bonnie's eyes widened with fear as he took a sharp turn into a forest-like area and drove his Camaro like a mad man.

"What are you doing?" she screamed. "Stop! Stop the car before you kill me!"

"Well, you're either save yourself or you'll turn into a vampire," he said. "Your choice."

"What the fuck!" she yelled. She reached over and tried to grab the wheel but he was able to fight her off one-handed. "Stop! Stop!"

But he didn't stop, even as the forest cleared out to show that they were on a course to drive right off of a cliff. Bonnie's heart leapt into her throat and she really beat Damon hard on the arm.

"Stop, you idiot! You'll kill me!"

"Then don't let me," he said, way too calm for the situation.

Her eyes went back to the impending cliff and she grabbed the door handle, intent on jumping out before they could go off the deep end. Damon leapt over her and kept the door locked, all while the car barreled onward.

"No cheating," he said.

"If you go off this cliff, I swear to God that I will never talk to you again!" she said, trying to fight back tears, as well as get herself out of the car.

"That's a risk I'm willing to take. We've got five seconds. 5, 4, 3..."

"Damon," she warned.

"2, 1."

And right on time with his counting, the Camaro flew off the edge of the cliff. Bonnie braced her hands on the dashboard and screamed as her stomach and lungs raced up her throat and threatened to spill out in a pile of vomit. The car flew down the valley at an alarming speed and Bonnie's entire life flashed before her eyes. In the few seconds it took before the car was sure to splatter her remains all over the ground, her last thought was that if she made it out alive, she would be a vampire. Or witchpire. Whatever. She didn't want it. And she didn't want to die either.

"STOP," she said with every ounce of feeling in her body.

She closed her eyes, accepting that she was going to die, but the impact never came. She popped one eye open to find that the car was levitating just a foot above the ground of the valley. It dropped harshly once she realized what happened, and with the reflexes of a cat, she jumped out of the car and got onto her feet. Her whole body shook violently, from her feet to her arms, and she couldn't control herself when she threw up all over the ground. She was vaguely aware of the sound of Damon's car door opening and closing, but she was definitely aware of his hand on her shoulder.

"Bonnie..." he started.

She stopped hurling long enough to yank away from him. She pushed him hard and said, "don't touch me." Her voice was shaky, as well as her body, but she pushed him again and again. "Don't ever touch me again."

His blue eyes widened in surprise. "Listen, I know you're upset, but..."

"Upset?" she asked lowly. "Upset doesn't even _begin_ to describe how I feel right now. You almost killed me."

"But I didn't," he said, even throwing in a smile. "I knew you had it in you. I just wanted you to believe it, too."

Bonnie stared at him for a few moments before she slowly wiped her mouth and tried to spit out some of the awful taste of vomit.

"Drive me home," she said.

She pushed past him and got into the car again, and she didn't speak to or look at him the rest of the way. When they got to the apartment, she went inside and slammed the door in his face.

"Hey, Bon," Caroline said, but then her smile dropped when she saw the look on Bonnie's face. "Whoa, are you okay? You're completely pale and shaking. What happened?"

Bonnie walked into her room and slammed the door without answering. Caroline turned her attention to Damon, who had let himself in but was wise enough not to follow Bonnie. She narrowed her eyes at him.

"What did you do?" she asked.

"I _may_ have pushed her a little too far today."

"You _may_ have?" she asked sarcastically. "What did you do, Damon?"

Meanwhile, Bonnie was in her bathroom, brushing her teeth like her life depended on it. She stopped briefly when she heard Caroline scream "you _what_?!" and she figured that Damon had told her about his little stunt. She rinsed her mouth out three times before she felt a little better, but she was still scared and shaken and for some reason, embarrassed. The jumble of emotions sat like a rock in her stomach and she crawled to her bed. She curled up on the corner, willing herself not to cry. She heard Caroline and Damon arguing in the other room, so she put a pillow over her head to block out the noise.

Some minutes later, the muffled arguing stopped and she heard her door open. She could tell from the tentative steps that it was Damon, so she pressed the pillow harder to herself. The bed dipped some when he sat next to her and when he put his hand on her shoulder, she recoiled. He tried to take the pillow but she held on it for dear life. He managed to maneuver it so that he could at least see her ear and he knew that she could hear him.

"Listen, Bon," he started. He sighed. "I realize that I went too far today. I promise that I was only trying to help, though. I didn't even plan to do that. You know me. I'm impulsive and stupid most of the time. I guess when we were driving and you looked so much better, I just thought that maybe I could pull it out of you and get you to see that you're way stronger than you give yourself credit for. It was a very dumb thing of me to do and I'm sorry. I mean, I'm sorry that I'm scared you. I'm not really sorry that I did it because you just proved that with the right motivation, you know how to use your magic."

Bonnie moved the pillow from her face and glared at him. "The right motivation?" she scoffed. "You call scaring the absolute shit out of me 'the right motivation'?"

"Well...yeah," he said with a shrug. "It worked, didn't it?"

"At what cost?" she asked, her voice getting higher and louder. "I'm still shaking from it, Damon. I'm still terrified because of you!"

"And I said that I'm sorry."

"You call that half-assed explanation an apology? What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that I'm tired of seeing you be so down on yourself and doubt everything you do," he said, matching her irritated tone. "You have magic practically crackling off your skin and you don't know what to do with it! Yeah, I scared you. But so what? You're still here. You're alive, and you're not a vampire. You're welcome."

"I'm welcome?" she yelled. "Oh, yes, thank you so much for making me nearly shit myself in your car! Thank you for making me throw up on the side of the road and thank you for the inevitable nightmares I'll have! You're such a great trainer."

Bonnie got off the bed and walked out of the room, and he followed. Caroline was still in the living room, acting like she wasn't eavesdropping, but Bonnie knew better.

"Look, I know you're mad but you have to know that I was trying to help," Damon said.

"What I _know_ is that you're the biggest asshole I have ever met," she said, whipping around to spew her words at him.

"Fine," he said as he held up his hands. "I'm an asshole. Not exactly news."

"And you're a moron!"

"Okay..."

"You're just...ugh!" she said, throwing her hands up in frustration.

"Granted. I'm an asshole and a moron. But at least I'm not afraid of my own power."

"Excuse me?" she asked.

"You heard me. You're afraid. You could be the most powerful person on the planet, but you don't want to be because all you want is to be normal. Newsflash, you aren't normal and you never will be. Might as well embrace it and start learning to love it. Maybe if you did, I wouldn't have to sleep with you every night."

As soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted it. Bonnie's eyes widened and she crossed her arms over her chest. He was pretty sure he heard Caroline mutter "uh-oh" under her breath as she tried to look away from the carnage about to take place.

"I didn't realize that was such an inconvenience to you," Bonnie said.

"It's not," he said quickly. "That came out wrong."

"No, I think it came out exactly the way you meant it."

"I promise it didn't. Just let me explain..."

She held up her hand and shook her head.

"What you meant was that you don't want to keep watch over me and babysit every night. I get it. So don't do it anymore. Consider yourself relieved."

"Bonnie," Damon said. He took a step towards her but she backed away and pointed to the door.

"Get out," she said simply.

"Don't do this," he sighed. "Okay? I'm sorry. I fucked up everything and I'm bad with words, you know that. Don't make this bigger than it has to be."

"I'm not. You're right. It's inconsiderate of me to expect you to be here every night to ward away the ghosts and bad dreams. I'm a big girl. I'm a powerful witch, as you keep reminding me. I'll figure it out. You can go."

"I don't want to go."

"Well, I do. So please get out and don't bother coming back."

Damon looked at the ceiling as he tried to collect his thoughts and figure out the right words to smooth the situation over. He looked at Caroline for help, but she refused to look at either of them. He opened his mouth to apologize again, but he could tell from the look on Bonnie's face that she wouldn't hear anything he had to say. So he left. Bonnie followed him out and made sure to lock the door. She also put a spell on the door that essentially un-invited him so that he couldn't get back in.

"You okay?" Caroline asked after Bonnie walked away from the door.

"Yeah."

But it was a lie, and they both knew it. Bonnie was worried about how she would fare without Damon, but she was equally worried about how dependent she had become on him. He'd helped her for a while but now she was going to do it on her own.

Or so she hoped.


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

The first night without Damon wasn't so bad. Bonnie was still mad at him for his stupid stunt with the car, as well as the things he said afterwards, so she turned away from his side of the bed and forced herself not to think about him. She fell asleep a few times, but it never lasted more than an hour. Still, the lack of sleep didn't bother her because she was running on angry fumes and was determined not to miss him.

The second night was tougher, mostly because her anger had begun to wane and she started to think that maybe she had overreacted.

By the third night of being in bed alone, she was miserable. She hadn't been sleeping well, but more than that, she made the mistake of rolling onto Damon's side of the bed. His scent was still everywhere on the sheets and pillows. The smell of his Old Spice soap infiltrated her senses and made it impossible not to miss him. She threw his pillows off the bed and turned around, but the smell had already overcome her and she couldn't get away from it.

She groaned and threw the comforter off of her body. She went to the kitchen in the hopes of finding something that might help her sleep. She noticed that there was a faint light coming from underneath Caroline's door, and even though it was late, she knocked a few times. Caroline called for her to come in and when she did, she saw her roommate sitting cross-legged on her bed with a thick book in her lap.

"Hey," Caroline said with a tired smile. "What are you doing up? It's after midnight."

"I couldn't sleep," Bonnie sighed. "Studying?"

"Yeah. Organic chemistry test tomorrow and all of these symbols look like Russian to me."

"Oh, well I won't bug you."

"You're not bugging me. Come here. I need a break anyway."

Caroline closed her book and put it on the floor and she patted the bed. Bonnie climbed onto the bed and curled on her right side, while Caroline curled on her left and they giggled at each other.

"It's been a while since we did this," Bonnie said.

"I know. All this time as roommates and we haven't even had a real sleepover."

They smiled and Caroline folded a pillow under her head.

"So what's up?" she asked.

Bonnie hesitated, but then asked, "do you think I was too hard on Damon?"

"No," Caroline said, without any hesitation at all. "He was an idiot, and he deserved every word that you said to him. He didn't make it any better when he put his foot in his mouth, like he always does." When Bonnie responded with a slight nod and a kind of disappointed look on her face, Caroline continued. "But...I think he did all that stuff because he believes in you and thinks you can do anything. He just has a really dumb way of showing it. And besides, it's obvious that you miss him. You should call him and make up."

"I want to," she sighed. "But at the same time, I don't. He was such an asshole."

"That's Damon," Caroline said simply. "You signed up for asshole-y-ness when you became his best friend."

Bonnie noticed how she said "best friend" with a tinge of disgust. "I'm sorry, Care. I've been neglecting you. And Matt. I've been with Damon so much that I haven't been spending enough time with you."

"I'm not mad. It's just...you don't have to be with him all the time, you know? We haven't even caught up on 'Scandal' and you're missing this whole season."

"You're right. I'll make up with him but I promise to do better about making time for you, too, okay?"

Caroline half-smiled. "So, have you had any nightmares while he's been gone?"

"No, not really. But my bed feels empty."

"Well I'm sure if you call him, he'd be more than happy to hold you nice and tight while you sleep," she teased.

Bonnie rolled her eyes. "Don't start."

"What? I'm just saying...Bonnie and Damon, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N..." Before she could say the 'G,' Bonnie smacked her in the face with a pillow. Caroline laughed and Bonnie rolled out of the bed and told her good night. She had a little smile on her face when she returned to her room, and she tried again to get comfortable and go to sleep. She couldn't stop thinking about Damon, though. She hated fighting with him and she was never good at holding grudges. So before she could talk herself out of it, she called him.

The phone rang a few times, and with every unanswered ring, Bonnie's stomach tightened. What if he was out doing something else? What if he was the one who was mad now and didn't answer? Her brain went off on a long chain of 'what if' questions before Damon finally answered.

"Hello?" he asked, sounding wide awake.

"Hey," she said.

"Hey. I'm surprised you're calling me."

She slid down, nestling herself under the comforter, as she tried to think of something articulate to say. All she could come up with was, "I couldn't sleep."

"Nightmares?" he asked.

"No, no nightmares."

"Oh." She heard him move around before he asked, "then why are you calling?"

"Do I need a reason to call you?"

"Well, I thought after our last conversation, maybe we weren't friends anymore."

"Just because we have a fight, doesn't mean we're not friends. Fighting is what we do, remember?"

"You were pretty mad at me," he said in a sing-song voice that made her smile despite herself.

"Yeah. And I'm still mad at your tactics. But after a little reflection, I guess I know that you were only trying to help in your very dumb, very Damon-like way."

"I accept your apology."

"Excuse me?" she asked with a laugh. "I don't recall apologizing."

"You did, in your own very judgey, very Bonnie-like way." She smiled and for a moment, they fell into a comfortable silence over the phone. "I wouldn't hurt you. You know that, right?" he asked.

"Yeah, I do. But still, driving me off a cliff? Did you think that was going to end well?"

"I don't look before I leap, Bon-Bon. You know that about me."

"Can we at least agree that any future training sessions won't include surprise near-death experiences?"

"Sorry, can't make any promises. But at least now you're on notice that anything can happen when you're training with me."

"Gee, thanks for the heads up."

"So now that we're made up, is this officially a booty call?"

Bonnie snorted. "You wish."

"It's awfully late for a girl to be calling a guy unless there's some booty involved. I can come over if you want. I'm sure that bed is feeling pretty lonely without me."

"It is," she admitted, "but I actually wanted to talk to you about that, too. Maybe we should cut back on all the sleeping together stuff."

"What? Why? I let you hog the covers."

"Because I've been neglecting everything else. We've been so into our little cocoon that I've barely spent time with Caroline or Matt or done anything else not related to defending myself against Lily. And at least so far, I haven't had any nightmares, so it's not like we have to keep sleeping together. It was only supposed to last until I could keep her out of my head, and it seems like I'm doing that now."

"I guess that meditation worked," he said, sounding a lot less jovial than before.

"Yeah, I guess so."

Silence overtook the conversation again and Bonnie felt like she should say something else, but she wasn't sure what. She hoped Damon would save her from the awkwardness floating between them, but when the quiet just stretched on, she faked a yawn.

"It's late. I should go."

"Okay."

"I'll talk to you later?"

"Yeah. Good night."

"Night."

She hung up and although she felt better since they weren't fighting anymore, she felt weird knowing that their sleeping arrangements had come to an end. She consoled herself by squeezing Damon's pillow and burying her nose in the scent. Pretending that it was him helped her drift off to sleep, but it didn't last long. She thought she heard knocking on a door, and then the sound of her phone chirping further woke her up. She blindly reached for the phone and saw a message from Damon.

 _i'm at ur door_

Before Bonnie could really understand what was going on, she heard knocking again. She snapped out of her sleepy haze and threw the covers off, then hurried to the door to stop the knocking before it woke Caroline. She turned on the kitchen light and opened the door to find Damon standing there.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice a little groggy.

"I don't think it's fair for you to cut me off cold turkey like this," he said. "Just because we don't have to sleep together doesn't mean I don't want to."

It took a minute for his words to sink in, and when they did, she smiled.

"Only you would say something so nice at such an ungodly hour."

"Are you gonna invite me in or what?"

"Get in here before you wake up Caroline."

She took his hand and dragged him inside. They went to her bedroom and shut the door, and in the dark, Bonnie felt her way underneath the covers again. She heard Damon moving around, taking off clothes, and then she felt his body weight dip the other side of the bed. She couldn't fight the elation she felt when he pulled her close to him, spoon-style, and he planted his nose in her neck.

"Mm, three days without this is too long," he groaned. He kissed her once on the neck and hugged her tightly.

"You're being awfully affectionate," she said, although she made no move to stop him.

"You can't tell me you didn't miss this," he said into her ear.

"I did, but it's late and we should go to sleep."

"How can I sleep when you smell this good?"

He kissed her neck again but it wasn't just a peck. He suctioned some of her skin into his mouth, and although his kisses didn't alarm her at first, her eyes widened when she felt a pulse of arousal shoot from her neck to her breasts and down in between her legs. She pulled away slightly and asked in the dark, "what are you doing?"

"Apologizing," he said, latching his mouth to her neck again.

Bonnie didn't know what to do, and her body reacted before her mind when he found a sensitive spot and bit it, and she rolled her neck to the side to give him easier access.

"This isn't good," she said. She meant to be stern but her voice sounded breathy.

"Feels good to me," he mumbled. "And you can't tell me you haven't thought about it." One hand found a sliver of skin and stroked it, which turned her on more than it should have. "All this sleeping together and you never once wondered what it would be like?"

Before she could answer sensibly, that same hand of his traveled underneath her shirt and palmed her breast. She knew it was a shame how her back arched and pushed it further into his hand, especially when she was trying to talk both of them out of whatever they were doing.

"No, I haven't," she lied.

"Your hard nipples tell me otherwise," he said as he resumed kissing and sucking her skin.

"You're grabbing my boob. What do you expect to happen?"

She yelped when he turned her onto her back and pressed himself in between her legs. She gulped, even though she couldn't see him, because she imagined what he must have looked like when he said, "I expect that if you didn't want this just like I do, you would have witchy woo-wooed me into a wall by now."

Bonnie had no comeback for that, because he was right. If she was thinking in her right mind, she would have tossed him out the window or at least slapped him. But she wasn't in her right mind. She hadn't been touched that way in so long that it was impossible to tell him to stop.

So she didn't stop him when he leaned down and kissed her. She had wondered fleetingly what kind of kisser he might be, and he certainly didn't disappoint. Although his lips and tongue started off cool, the more she kissed him in return, the warmer he got.

She didn't stop him when he tugged her T-shirt over her head and discarded it somewhere on the floor. She didn't stop him when his wet mouth connected with her breasts, and he pulled moan after moan from her lips.

And she definitely didn't stop him when his fingers slid underneath her shorts and panties and found a home in her wet center. It only took him a few strokes to learn exactly how and where she liked to be touched, and she was embarrassingly close to climaxing very soon into his efforts.

"Come for me," he whispered against her lips. "Come for me, Bonnie."

He whispered her name like some kind of sacred chant, and each time he said it, she got closer and closer, until...

"Bonnie!"

She snapped her eyes open, only to find that she was alone in her bed, fully clothed. She blinked a few times and saw a very concerned-looking Caroline standing in her bedroom door. She was about to ask what was going on, when she looked around and saw that every thing that hadn't been bolted down was floating several feet off the air, including the bed. As soon as Bonnie realized that she was causing the floating, everything crashed to the floor and she bounced harshly on the bed.

"Are you okay?" Caroline asked, although she didn't move to come inside. "I heard you moaning like you were in pain."

Bonnie blinked a few times, trying to make sense of what was going on. "Is Damon here?" she asked.

Caroline frowned. "No. He hasn't been here since you uninvited him." She took a tentative step in. "I have my test this morning but if you need me to stay with you, I can compel the teacher into letting me take it later."

"No, no, no," Bonnie said, shaking her head. "I'm okay. You can go."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. We'll talk later."

The blonde frowned but relented. "I'll call you when I leave class."

Bonnie waited until her roommate was out of the apartment before she fell onto her pillows and replayed the night. Had it all been a dream? It had felt so real, every second of it. Maybe Damon had left before Caroline woke up. She rolled over and grabbed her phone from the nightstand. The call history showed that she had called Damon at 12:41 and they talked for five minutes. But there was no text from him saying he was at her door. He hadn't come over after all.

And for some inexplicable reason, a part of her was disappointed.

 **...**

The dreams didn't stop. Every night for the next few days, Bonnie dreamt of Damon in a more than friendly way. She didn't know how to make the thoughts stop, and they were slowly consuming her mind. She was thinking about it even while she and Caroline had lunch. Caroline was going on about something and Bonnie was trying her best to listen, but she was distracted when her phone rang and she saw Damon's name on the screen. Her stomach did something funny, and she hit the ignore button.

"Who's that?" Caroline wondered, happily munching away on a salad.

"Damon."

"And you ignored it? I thought you two made up."

"We did," she sighed.

"But?"

"But I know he's going to ask to come over and I'm not sure that's a good idea right now."

"Why not?"

Bonnie hesitated, even though she was bursting at the seams to tell someone. Caroline was not the ideal candidate for the situation, given her opinion about Bonnie's relationship with Damon, but she was really the only option.

"If I tell you, you have to _swear_ not to make fun of me or make a big deal out of it," Bonnie said seriously.

"Okay..."

Bonnie held up her pinky. "It's the only way I know you'll keep the promise." Caroline groaned and rolled her eyes, but she wrapped her pinky around Bonnie's and they shook on it.

"Now spill," the vampire said, her eyes growing happy at the prospect of gossip.

"Well, ever since that night that Damon and I talked on the phone, I've kind of been having sex dreams about him." Caroline's eyes widened further. "I know, I know, it's not that serious," Bonnie said hurriedly. "I mean, I've had sex dreams about other friends before. But these aren't just dreams. They feel really, really... _real_. I guess I'm afraid that if he sleeps over, I might not have control in my sleep and I'll dry hump him or something and it'll be really awkward."

Caroline was quiet for a moment and Bonnie could tell that had they not pinky-sworn, she would have been having a field day. Instead, she calmly put her fork down and approached the situation very clinically.

"What exactly happens in these dreams?" she asked.

"It's usually the same build-up, you know? He'll come over and we'll get in the bed together. But instead of going to sleep, he'll start kissing me and stuff and then one thing leads to another. I mean, technically, we've never actually..." Bonnie waved her hand around.

"Banged," Caroline said.

"But he'll do other things and I'll get all worked up but I always wake up before I..." She waved her hand again.

"Come."

"And now I'm just so...ugh!"

"Horny."

"Yes!" Bonnie said with a frustrated sigh. She covered her face with her hands and shook her head. "Oh my God, this is so embarrassing."

"Hey, no, none of that." Caroline forcibly pried Bonnie's hands off of her face and gave her the stern look. "We are best friends, Damon be damned. I'm at least your best _girl_ friend. If you can't tell me stuff like this, who can you tell?"

"I know, but you know I'm not good at...sex...stuff."

"Then it sounds like it's time for you to get good at it."

"What am I supposed to do?"

"The way I see it, you have three options. One, you can do nothing and let yourself get wound up so tight from these dreams that you accidentally set the apartment on fire in your sleep."

"Ha, ha," Bonnie said dryly.

"Two, you can put your fingers to work or invest in some sex toys."

Bonnie's cheeks flushed.

"Or three, you can ask Damon to give you the business."

"Noooo," she whined. "I don't want Damon to give me the business. I like my relationship with him just the way it is."

"Fine," Caroline said with a shrug. "Suit yourself. But you know he won't stop asking to come over, you'll give in, and then you're going to wake up riding him like a cowgirl. Don't say I didn't warn you."

"I thought we pinky-swore not to make fun of me?"

"I'm not making fun, just stating the facts. But if you are going to do him, could you try to do it before May? Stefan and I made a bet and if I win, I get some really nice shoes."

"You did not!" Bonnie said, and she threw a fry at her.

"Would I ever lie about shoes?"

Bonnie threw more fries and Caroline threw some back. They broke into a full-on food fight and were in the middle of laughing and causing a big mess when Bonnie felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Maybe you two could throw water on each other next and we can see your bras," Damon said with a dirty smile.

Bonnie hated the way that she suddenly felt nervous around him. "You're a pig."

"And you have ketchup on your face." He wiped it off her cheek and then sucked the ketchup off his finger. Bonnie's eyes immediately flew to Caroline, who was smiling smugly. She mouthed "shoes," and Bonnie threw her burger bun at her.

"Excuse me while I go to the ladies' room," Caroline said. "I'll let you guys catch up."

The girls stared at each other, silently communicating too much for Damon to keep up with.

"What was that about?" he asked, stealing one of the few fries remaining on Bonnie's plate.

"Girl stuff."

"Mm, and what's this about with you avoiding me?"

"I'm not avoiding you. We've talked every day."

"Yeah, and I've been a good boy and now I want you to invite me back in. A vamp gets lonely at night, you know."

Bonnie thought back to what Caroline had said. She knew well enough that Damon was not going to let it drop until they were snuggle partners again. She rationalized that maybe the dreams were only happening because she missed him, and if he was back in the picture, they would stop.

Somehow, she knew that wasn't the case, but she agreed anyway.

"Okay, tonight you can come over," she said.

"Perfect." He grinned. "See ya tonight, Judgey."


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Bonnie went into the night with a plan. Since she had no confidence that she wouldn't do something embarrassing in her sleep, she decided that she simply wouldn't go to sleep. Her plan was to stay up all night with Damon and sleep after he left. And when he arrived, she already had all her tools laid out: the Monopoly board was spread out on the coffee table, "The Bodyguard" DVD was in the player, she had Chinese food on the way and a back-up game of poker, in case the Monopoly game didn't last long enough.

It started out well. She roped Caroline into a game of Monopoly that lasted nearly four hours before Caroline declared she was going to "die of boredom" and quit, and another two hours before Damon was finally crowned the winner. They transitioned into their five hundredth viewing of "The Bodyguard," and Bonnie barely made it out of that awake. She and Damon were snuggled up on the couch, with the lights off, and everything in her body screamed to go to sleep. She dozed off once or twice but quickly snapped awake when the credits began to roll and Damon scooped her up in his arms.

"What are you doing?" she asked, trying her hardest to keep her eyes open.

"It's bedtime, Judgey," he said as he deposited her on the bed.

Her eyes widened a little when she saw him removing clothes, and the fear of falling asleep with him was like a jolt of adrenaline. She sat up and turned the side lamp on, which made him frown.

"I'm not sleepy," she said. "Let's stay up and do something else."

"I've already kicked your ass in Monopoly and watched that damn movie with you. What else do you want to do?"

"We can watch something else," she offered. "You pick this time."

He narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "You know it's like two in the morning, right? And you look like you're going to pass out at any second."

"I'm not sleepy," she insisted. And then she yawned.

"Right." Damon walked to her side of the bed, turned her lamp off, and then walked back around to his side and climbed in. He pulled her body to his and held her closely. Bonnie's heart thudded against her chest, and it only took a few seconds for Damon to comment on it. "What's going on with you?"

"Nothing."

"Then why is your heart beating like you're terrified? And why don't you want to go to sleep?"

Bonnie tried to think of a good excuse, but she came up with nothing.

"I thought you weren't having nightmares anymore."

"I'm not. Not exactly, anyway."

"Bonnieeeee..." he said, dragging her name out in that way that told her he was not going to let the matter drop until she came clean.

"I can't tell you."

"What? Why not?"

"Because. It's personal."

"Personal?" he scoffed. "We're way past personal."

"Still, I can't tell you."

"Does Caroline know?"

"Yeah, but what does that matter?"

"Why can she know but I can't?"

"She's been my friend since we were little, Damon. And she's a girl."

"Oh, so because I have a penis, I'm not good enough to know your secret? That's sexist."

"Stop it."

"Tell me," he whined. "I'm the one who's been helping you through all this. I'm the one that stayed in the bed with you for _three days_ and nursed you back to health."

"Are you really going to guilt me into telling you?"

"Is it working?"

Bonnie sighed and thought while she rested her head on his chest. She contemplated telling him, and wondered exactly how much she should tell him. Should she just tell him about the dreams, or tell him about his part in them? Her cheeks flamed just thinking of how he would react, but she figured that it might help to get it off her chest.

"I've been having dreams," she started.

"Okay."

She bit her lip and tried to slow her thumping heart. "Sex dreams."

"Okay..."

She should have stopped there, she knew. But the rest of it was hanging off her tongue and she bit the bullet before she could chicken out.

"About you."

There were several tense moments of silence and she was thankful that the room was dark so she couldn't see his face.

"That's it?" he asked. "That's what you're all freaked out about?"

Bonnie released a deep breath, relieved that he hadn't reacted in a worse way.

"Well, yeah. Don't you think that's embarrassing?"

"Dreaming about me?" he asked cockily. "Honey, have you seen me? There's not a woman I've met who _hasn't_ had a few naughty dreams about me."

"You're so humble, Damon," she said dryly.

"So you had some freaky dreams about me. So what?"

"It's not just that they're dreams. They seem real and vivid, and sometimes when I wake up, it takes me a minute to realize that it's not real. I guess I was afraid that if you came over, I might accidentally grab your junk in my sleep or something."

"I've had worse things happen to me."

She smiled and hugged him. "Thanks for not teasing me."

"Oh, I'm gonna tease you, just not right now."

"You're such an ass."

"That's why you love me," he said, as he kissed her forehead.

She nuzzled his chest and squeezed him again, feeling much freer now that he knew. She was ready to finally give in to the sleep, when he spoke again.

"So, was it good?"

"What?"

"Our dream sex."

She looked up at him, hoping that he knew she was frowning at him in the dark.

"Seriously?" she asked.

"What? I have to make sure that your dream version of me isn't slacking off. I can't get a bad reputation."

"You are so ridiculous."

"Come on, just tell me. Stroke my ego a little."

Bonnie was pretty sure that she hadn't imagined the emphasis on "stroke."

"Yes. It was good."

"I hear a 'but' in there," he said.

"But..." She rested her head on his chest again so she wouldn't have to look at him as she said it. "I always wake up before I can...finish."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

They fell into silence again and Bonnie thought the conversation was over, until Damon spoke yet again.

"Would you like to finish?" he asked.

The playfulness in his voice was gone, and it had been replaced with a seriousness that made Bonnie's throat dry.

"What?" she asked lowly.

He rolled her onto her side, and then he rolled onto his so that they were facing each other. He held her body pressed to his and she could feel his breath on her lips as he spoke.

"I'm asking if you want me to pick up where Dream Damon left off, and finish the job for you," he whispered.

Bonnie's mind went haywire trying to comprehend what he was saying. Of all the ways she thought their conversation might play out, this hadn't been one of them.

"I...I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why not?"

She started to talk, but she stalled when his hand fell to her hip and his thumb rubbed just underneath her shirt.

"Elena," she said. "Because of Elena."

"I highly doubt that Elena expected me to be celibate the whole time she's gone. What's your next excuse?"

She really tried to think of all the thousands of reasons that they should not go there with each other, but they were all disappearing from her mind with every touch of his hand. He slid his fingers completely under her shirt and trailed his hand up and down her back.

"You don't see me that way," she said.

"I see you just fine," he countered. "I see a smart, loyal, powerful, beautiful young woman who's just waiting for someone to show her how sexy she is." Bonnie swallowed hard, especially as he took her hand and trailed it down his bare chest. A spike of anticipation, nervousness and excitement passed through her when he slid her hand down to his boxers and she got a handful of an erection. "Does this feel like I don't see you that way?" he asked.

Bonnie's eyes fluttered shut and she tried to think rationally, but that was nearly impossible. Damon didn't help matters when he leaned in and rubbed his nose on her neck.

"I think you're all out of excuses," he whispered.

"Damon..."

"I like the way you say that." He kissed her neck and his hand slid down to her butt, where he gave her a hard squeeze. She groaned but managed to pull away.

"I can't. We can't."

"Give me one good reason why."

"Because..."

"Because it won't feel good?" he asked. He snaked his other hand underneath her body and grabbed her butt there, too, so that her whole rear end was gobbled up in his hands.

"N-no," she stuttered.

"Because you're not attracted to me?"

"No."

"Then nothing else matters."

She was pretty sure that wasn't true, but all her doubts were silenced when he covered her mouth with his. As soon as his tongue slid past her lips, she knew that the dream version of him didn't do the real thing any justice. He was slow and gentle, but there was no mistake about who was in charge. He cupped her cheek in one hand and tilted her chin a little, putting her in the position to kiss him just how he liked it.

And unlike the dreams, where Damon did all the work, she allowed her hands to crawl up his torso and into his hair. The soft thickness of his hair made her want to pull it, and when she gave in to that desire, he groaned into her mouth.

"Do it again," he whispered.

Bonnie was by no means an experienced woman, but finding something that Damon liked made her feel like some sort of sex goddess. She tugged on his hair again, much to his satisfaction, and she kept doing it as he kissed down her neck and over the thin material of her shirt. He teased her with kisses along her stomach, never going up high enough to take her breasts or low enough to touch her where she really needed it. She was just about to complain, when he made up his mind.

He was going down. And the only thing that pulsed harder than her heart was the throbbing space between her legs.

"Lift," Damon said into the darkness. Bonnie wordlessly lifted her hips and allowed him to pull off her shorts and panties in one tug. She swallowed hard, both excited and nervous about being so exposed to him. She thought about stopping him or telling him to do something else, but he didn't give her time to protest before he lay flat on the bed, pulled her legs over his shoulders, and licked her.

"Oh...my...God," she moaned.

Her hands found the sheets and she gripped them in her fingers as Damon made a meal out of her in the best possible way. She tried to keep quiet because she didn't want Caroline to know what was going on, but she couldn't help the whimpers and sighs and occasional breathless pleas for him to keep going. Once he added his fingers to the equation, Bonnie could practically see the countdown to the big O in her head.

 _10, 9, 8, 7..._

Just as she was about to round that corner, he stopped. She hadn't realized that her eyes were closed until she opened them. Rather than being met with the darkness, the room was illuminated with sunlight seeping in through her curtains. And rather than Damon looking as aroused as she felt, with mussed hair and moist lips, he just looked confused and a little bit worried. He hovered over her with his eyebrows furrowed.

"Bonnie, are you okay?" he asked.

She could still feel the tingle between her legs and in her stomach that she was mere seconds away from finally exploding.

"Why did you stop?" she asked.

He frowned further. "Stop what?"

His obvious confusion prompted her to look around the room, where she saw that everything was floating. Again. And she realized that she had dreamt the entire sequence of events. Again. And once that realization really settled into her mind, everything came crashing down, including Damon. Bonnie fell onto the bed, he fell on top of her, and his forehead smacked right against hers. The pain was instantaneous.

"Mother...fuck," she groaned, holding her head with both hands.

"Are you okay?" he asked quickly.

"No, I'm not okay! You just split my head open! Is your skull made of bricks?"

"Hey, it wasn't exactly fun for me either, you know."

"Oh my God," she muttered.

Damon rolled off of her and she heard him open the bedroom door. He was gone for a minute, and when he returned, she heard him place a glass and some pills on the nightstand next to her.

"For your head," he said. "I assume you don't want my blood."

"You assume correctly."

She expected some smart remark, but it never came. She curled on her side, away from him, nursing her throbbing head. She didn't immediately take the medicine, mostly because she knew that as soon as she did, he would want to know what the hell the floating and confusion were about. And she really didn't want to answer that. So she stalled, but he didn't move. She peeked over her shoulder to see him sitting up, smiling tightly at her.

"I'm a vampire, remember?" he asked. "I've got all the time in the world to play this little game with you."

"Ugh, fine."

She sat up gingerly and swallowed the pills, as well as a few gulps of water. She pressed her back to the headboard, mirroring Damon's position.

"So," he said. "You gonna tell me what that was all about?"

"I have no idea what you mean."

"Oh really? So the floating objects and you moaning like a cat in heat, that happens every night?"

Bonnie's cheeks flushed. "Shut up."

"What's going on?" he asked as he bumped her shoulder with his. "I mean, I think I can guess but I would like for you to confirm."

She sighed and pressed her head back. "I guess...I'm kind of...sexually frustrated," she admitted. "I've been having these dreams and when I wake up, everything's floating. I don't know why it started and I don't know how to control it. Just please tell me that I didn't do anything to you while I was asleep."

"Nothing I didn't enjoy," he said with a lecherous smile.

She smacked his arm. "Be serious. I really don't know what happened or what part of my dream was real."

"You fell asleep on the couch, I brought you to bed, and I went to sleep. A little while ago, you started moaning and squirming around and then shit started floating. That's when I woke you up."

Bonnie sighed in relief. "That's it?"

"Yeah, that's it."

Neither of them said anything for a while, and with every quiet moment, Bonnie felt more anxious. She knew that Damon had to have been wondering about when she asked why he stopped, and as much as it humiliated her, she figured it was best to come clean and admit that he was the star of her nighttime fantasies.

"Look, about when I asked you why you stopped..."

"Don't worry about it," he said, waving his hand at her. "You were half asleep. I guess in your sleep-induced haze, I could possibly look like Jeremy. A much hotter, more mature, exponentially more suave Jeremy, but I guess I could see it."

Bonnie frowned. "Jeremy?"

"Well, yeah. That's who you were dreaming about, right?"

Her eyes widened. Damon had given her an out, and he didn't even know it.

"Yeah. Yes. Definitely," she said, nodding too much. "Yeah, that's what I was going to say."

"Hmm. You know what this means, right?" Her blank stare answered that question. He hopped off the bed and clapped his hands. "Put on some clothes. I have a theory."

"Why does this theory require me to get out of bed?"

"Just trust me, Bennett."

Fifteen minutes later, they were out of the house and into his car. When they drove to the same park where they had trained before, Bonnie arched an eyebrow at him. He shooed her out of the car and to the same huge tree as before.

"Damon, what are we doing here? It's cold."

"You're going to pull that tree out of the ground," he said.

"I can't. Remember last time I tried to do that, my nose bled and then you tried to kill me."

"Do you know why I drove you off that cliff?" he asked, rocking back on his heels like a professor about to give a lecture.

"Hm, I don't know, maybe because you're an asshole?"

"Close, but no. I did it because I realized that in all the time I've known you, you've only ever done anything truly magical when you were either scared or angry. You were scared of me. And Katherine. And Klaus. And Silas. And Kai. And then of course, when you went ape-shit crazy with Expression, you were angry all the time. So I drove you off that cliff because I knew that if you were scared enough, you'd find a way to live."

Bonnie opened her mouth to dispute what he said, but the embarrassing truth was that he was right. She couldn't think of a single incident where she had really summoned all the magic dancing in her veins, other than when it was life or death.

"But I have a theory, Bon-Bon," he said. "Maybe it's not just fear and loathing that gets your juices flowing. Maybe lust does it for you, too."

"Oh, please, not this 'I need sex' talk again."

"Contrary to what you may believe, Sarah Palin, sex is natural. And as a witch, aren't you supposed to be a servant of nature?"

She folded her arms and scowled. "Did you just bring me out here to tell me I'm a frigid old maid or is there a point to all this?"

He held up his hands as if to say "picture this." "You're like a pipe."

"A pipe," she said dryly. "Wow."

"Hear me out. You're a vessel for magic, right? It's like the magic comes from nature, flows through you, and you're supposed to send it back out into nature. So yes, you're a petite, judgey little pipe. And like all pipes, you need regular cleanings or the plumbing gets clogged."

"Oh my God, please don't make a joke about penises and Drain-O."

Damon grinned. "Well, now that you stole my thunder, I won't." He walked behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. "Close your eyes."

She sighed and huffed but did as he said. She jumped a little when she felt his breath on her ear.

"When you're scared, or angry, or aroused, apparently, you're able to eek out a little magic passed that big clog in your body. But it's always uncontrolled and wild and usually gets you hurt. You're supposed to control your magic, not let it control you."

As irritated as Bonnie wanted to be by his words and his smug tone, she couldn't help but admit that he was right. Everything he said was right.

"It's scary that the stuff you're saying actually makes sense," she said, and she felt him smile near her face.

"I can be philosophical sometimes." He ran his hands down her arms and goosebumps broke out on her skin. "I want you to do an exercise. Keep your eyes closed, and think about that dream you had last night. Think about what turned you on so much that when you woke up, you didn't want it to stop."

Bonnie swallowed hard and tried to ignore the tightening of her nipples. She wondered if Damon knew how seductive he was being, from his words to the soft caresses to the warmth of his breath.

"Are you thinking about it?" he asked lowly.

Immediately, the memory of him between her legs came to her mind.

"Yes," she said, a little breathier than intended.

"It felt good, didn't it?" he whispered.

She gulped. "Yes."

"It made you feel sexy."

"Yes."

"Then embrace it."

She took a deep breath and embraced the feeling of being wanted and worshipped and adored. She didn't shy away from the slickness that accumulated in her panties as she replayed the dream in great detail.

"Open your eyes," Damon told her.

And when she did, she saw that although the huge tree had not been completely torn from the ground, several roots were floating, as well as leaves, flowers and many smaller trees. Bonnie gasped and Damon moved away from her, looking triumphant.

"Just imagine what you could do if you really let yourself go," he said.

She took a moment to really see what she had done and for the first time in a while, she felt good. No headaches, no nose bleeds, and the magic had been so effortless. This was how magic was supposed to be, she knew. She smiled at him and said, "let's do it again."

They spent the next several hours in the park, practicing and training. By the time they called it a day, Bonnie felt strong. Horny as hell, but strong. They chatted all the way to the apartment, and when Damon stopped the car, he kept the engine running.

"You're not getting out?" she asked.

"I figured I'd let you have tonight to yourself. I have a homework assignment for you."

She rolled her eyes. "What?"

"I want you to go inside, relax, pour yourself some wine, light some candles, and take a bath. And while you're in that bath, I want you to masturbate."

If Bonnie had had anything in her mouth, she would have spit it out. Her eyes widened, cheeks reddened, and Damon grinned.

"Excuse me?"

"I didn't stutter," he said. "You saw what you could do, and you could do so much more if you actually let yourself get some _relief_ instead of holding it in like a nun. And don't act like you don't know how. You've diddled the skittle plenty of times."

A boisterous laugh rumbled out of her mouth before she could stop herself. "Diddled the skittle? And before you said polishing the pearl. I know I'm going to regret asking this, but exactly how many euphemisms for female masturbation do you know?"

He looked way too excited to answer the question and he held up fingers as he counted. "Let's see, there's buffing the bonnet, or in your case, the bennett. Paying lip service, checking for squirrels, cranking up the fuzz box, double clicking the mouse, shining the diamond, shucking the oyster..."

"Okay, okay," she said, cutting him off. She really couldn't help laughing, which only seemed to please him. "Wow. You really are a fourteen-year-old boy."

"Hey, I've been around a long time," he said with a shrug. "I've learned a lot about ladies tickling the banjo. See how I slid in another one?"

"You are unbelievable, Damon Salvatore."

"You love it. Now get out. Go relax and _love yourself_. There, is that better?"

"Not even a little bit," she said as she got out.

Damon leaned over and yelled, "I want a full report tomorrow!"

"Not happening!" she yelled back.

She was still chuckling when she got into the apartment. She had no intentions of following his instructions, but after she cleaned up and wound down from the day, she realized that all of the work-up from their practice had left her...wanting. She tried to ignore it, but as the day transitioned into night, she slowly came around to the idea. So she ran herself a hot bath with her favorite lavender bubbles. She lit some candles and placed them all around the tub. She poured herself a glass of her favorite wine, and she took a few slow sips as she sank into the water.

It was relaxing, but she needed more.

So despite her resistance, if for no other reason than that she hated for Damon to be right, her fingers soon started to trail down her slick breasts, over her stomach, and between her legs. She hissed when she toyed with the engorged tissue of her clit and when she accepted that she was going to give in to her desires, she tried her hardest to think of Jeremy. He was, after all, the person that Damon thought she was fantasizing about. And he was the only man she'd ever been with.

The thoughts of Jeremy started out well enough. There was no denying that he had a gorgeous body, especially after all that vampire hunting. And even though her experience was limited, she knew that he was a good lover. He wanted to impress her and was desperate to please her, and based on some of the stories she'd heard from her friends, those were two traits you couldn't teach in a man. So she thought of him. But as she slipped a finger inside and rubbed herself a little harder, her thoughts took a turn.

Every time she envisioned Jeremy's straight brown hair, it changed to thick, jet black hair.

Every time she tried to see his brown eyes, the eyes staring back at her in her mind were blue.

She hit a particular spot and whispered, "Damon." But as soon as the word left her mouth, her eyes popped open and she cursed herself. "No. Jeremy. Jeremy. Jeremy."

She tried to convince herself of that and got back into the fantasy, and for a minute, it worked. But as she kept rubbing and stroking, she couldn't focus hard enough to keep her mind on track. She was too close to her climax to fight herself anymore, so she let the images of Damon assault her. She imagined him in the tub with her, kissing her neck from behind and thrusting into her from the bottom. Bonnie knew that he was the type to say dirty things and she could practically hear him telling her how good she felt, how wet she was, how much he wanted her to let go for him.

"Come for me, Bonnie," he would whisper.

And the thought was so hot that she inserted another finger, rubbed herself harder, and then bit her lip to stifle the scream of her release. The orgasm lasted for only a few precious seconds before it faded away. She dropped her head to the back of the tub, somewhat satisfied but also overcome with the knowledge that she wanted Damon.

And that was a problem.


	11. Chapter 10

**I haven't said this yet, but thank you all so much for all the love, support and reviews! Every time I see a review, favorite, or mention on Tumblr, it makes me smile. (I'm not really into Twitter but I hear it's on there, too, so thanks!) This is really fun to write and I'm glad you're enjoying the ride.  
**

Chapter 10

 _November 27, 2013_

 _Dear Elena,_

 _I know, I know, I'm terrible. It's been over a month since I wrote you. I'm sorry! I'm just really horrible at keeping up with this writing stuff. I promise I haven't forgotten you. Nobody else has either._

 _I have some good news. The nightmares have stopped. They've been replaced by an entirely different, equally crazy dream, but I'd take them over the nightmares any day. My magic is stronger, too. I've been doing things to release my frustrations: running, working out, and I even signed up for a dance class for next semester. I can't remember the last time I just got into a studio and danced until my body hurt._

 _Damon is...Damon. He's good. He's his usual self, but he's been helping me a lot. He fancies himself as my "trainer." He's being a good friend to me. You would be proud of him._

 _I'm sorry this entry is so short, but Thanksgiving is tomorrow and Caroline is breathing down my neck about helping her get things ready. She invited the guys over here, so it'll be me, Care, Stefan, Damon and Matt. Ric took off to parts unknown and I haven't heard anything about Enzo in months._

 _Okay, now she's yelling. I'm going to run a few laps and then come back to be at her disposal. Here's hoping that I make it to tomorrow._

 _Love,_  
 _Bonnie_

 **...**

At first, running in the cold November night air made Bonnie feel like there were nails in her lungs. But after a few laps around the crowded Whitmore track, her body warmed up and her muscles loosened. She was, by no means, a runner. She didn't get the "runner's high" or some satisfaction from pushing herself. But she did appreciate the boost in energy and the release of tension, not to mention how much control she was gaining over her magic.

So she fought through the discomfort as she rounded the turn of her last lap, and she increased the volume of Beyonce blasting through her headphones. She sprinted the last four hundred meters and then did a cool-down walk until she reached the bleachers. She stretched a little, removed her headphones and checked the time. It was almost seven and she had promised Caroline that she would be back in time to help with some of the dishes that needed extra prep time.

"Hello, Bonnie."

Bonnie jumped and whipped her head to the left, where Lily had appeared seemingly out of nowhere.

"It's been a while since we last spoke. Have you given any thought to my offer?"

"The offer to turn me into a vampire?" Bonnie asked lowly, through tight lips. "No, can't say that I have."

"That's unfortunate because I can tell that you've been getting stronger, and I could certainly use you on my side."

"What do you want with me?"

"I thought I had made that clear."

"No, actually, you haven't. I know your kind, Lily. You're not doing all this," Bonnie said, waving her hands around them, "stalking me, watching me, keeping tabs on me, just because you want me 'on your side.' You want something from me and I want to know what it is."

Lily turned her attention to the students and professors jogging around the track, and when she spoke again, puffs of cold air escaped her mouth.

"I want immortality."

Bonnie frowned. "You're a vampire. You already have that."

"Yes, unless someone stakes me, rips my head off, or sets me ablaze. Then I'm just as mortal as you." She turned to Bonnie. "I want true immortality, like Qetsiyah gave to Silas. You are Qetsiyah's last direct descendant and her magic flows through you. You are the only one who can give this to me." She gave Bonnie the once-over and continued. "Of course, in your current state, you aren't strong enough. Despite all your training and adorable efforts with my son, you would need significantly more power. But as a heretic, a vampire-witch, whatever you'd like to call it, you could be more powerful than Qetsiyah ever dreamed."

She waited for all the information to soak in before she asked, "so what do you say?"

Bonnie shook her head in disbelief. "I say that you're a psycho. You tried to kill me, and ever since you and your friends have been here, you've caused nothing but chaos. If you think that I would ever help you live forever, you're even more insane than you look."

She got up and started to walk away, when Lily asked, "have you enjoyed your dreams?"

That stopped Bonnie in her tracks and when she slowly turned back to Lily, she saw the older woman smiling like the cat who caught the canary.

" _You_ made me have those dreams?"

"Not me, _per se_ , but my friend Jasper did. He's quite adept at mind control and manipulation."

"Are you serious? What kind of sick freaks puts those kinds of thoughts about her own son in someone's head?"

Lily's smile only widened as she stood and approached Bonnie. "Ah, now see, there's the beauty of it. I didn't make you see Damon."

"But you just said..."

"I said that Jasper put thoughts into your head. But all he did was a spell that made me see what you really want. It's very convenient in situations like these, where you want to get to know what motivates someone, what drives them, even if they don't know themselves. You see, Bonnie, he did the 'Heart's Desire' spell to show me your deepest desire. And apparently, that desire is to have my son."

Bonnie's face flushed and she felt like someone had just thrown cold water over her body. She didn't know if Lily was telling the truth or just playing with her head, and she wasn't sure which scenario was worse.

"So what I am offering you is an even trade. You give me immortality and I give you Damon."

"I don't want Damon," she said, even though it sounded false to her own ears.

"My dear, of course you do. And I could make him want you in the exact same way." Lily circled her slowly, like a shark that smelled blood in the water. "It would take very little effort to put similar dreams in his head, and suddenly, you would go from the cute best friend to the very desirable object of his affections."

"I don't want him like that," Bonnie said through gritted teeth. "Not handed to me on a silver platter while he's still in love with Elena."

"Elena," Lily scoffed. "She is just another version of that trollop, Katherine. And do you really think that Damon will be happy with her? A human? No longer a doppleganger, no longer a vampire. He'd be bored with her within a year." She stopped in front of Bonnie and gently took her shoulders. "But you. A witch. A _Bennett_ witch, no less. You excite him. You keep him on his toes. You could have an eternity together and for the first time in your life, someone to love wouldn't leave you. You would be the perfect life mate for him and we both know it. Just say the word and I'll make him see it, too."

Bonnie would never admit it out loud, but for a brief moment, she thought about telling Lily to do it. She felt horrible and weak for even considering such a ridiculous offer, but there was a small part of her that wanted all the things Lily promised that she could give.

But that small part was quickly overruled by her sensible morals, and rather than answer Lily, she narrowed her eyes and sent the woman crashing to the ground in a screaming heap of pain. She watched with a disturbing level of satisfaction as Lily convulsed and cried out in agony.

"If you're wondering why no one is helping you, it's because I've put up a little screen so that to the outside world, it looks like we're just talking normally. And if you're wondering what the hell is happening to you, I'm popping every blood vessel in your body, over and over. I know you've built up an immunity to aneurysms and you were right, by the way, that was getting kind of old. So I guess you could call this a whole body explosion."

She bent down and smiled at the shouting woman. "It probably feels like your insides are going to catch fire, doesn't it? I could kill you like this, you know. But I won't. Because, unlike your sons, I don't go around killing other people's mothers without at least giving them a heads up." She scooted a little closer. "So consider this your heads up. If I see you again, I'm going to make your head go bye-bye. And in case this isn't clear enough for you, no, we don't have a deal."

Bonnie extracted herself from the magical shield but left it up for Lily, until the vampire could get herself together. She stopped the blood vessel explosions and walked away triumphantly. But when she got into her car, her hands were shaking, both from the thrill of temporary victory and the knowledge that she had made a very powerful enemy.

She was still a little shaky when she got back to the apartment. She tried not to let it show in her face, and she smiled when she walked in to the smell of food cooking and Thanksgiving decorations everywhere: a cornucopia, carved pumpkins and pumpkin spice-smelling candles.

"Care, this looks amazing," she said as she walked into the kitchen.

Caroline whipped around, showcasing her "gobble, gobble" apron, and ushered Bonnie into the shower, all while telling her all the things they had to do. Bonnie politely reminded her that there were only five guests, three of whom would have been fine with pizza and beer, which only earned her an eye roll. As soon as she was out of the shower and into some sweats, Caroline had her back in the kitchen with instructions to make both pumpkin and sweet potato pie. The pumpkin was for Stefan, and the sweet potato for Bonnie and Matt. It was kind of crazy and chaotic but Bonnie found she enjoyed being the kitchen with Caroline, even if her friend was like the vampire version of Martha Stewart.

"So the guys are coming at noon," Caroline said, once they took a break and left the pies to bake in the bottom oven and the turkey in the top. "You think everything will be ready by then?"

"I think it'll be fine," Bonnie said with a little chuckle.

"You think I'm insane, don't you?"

"Yeah, but that's what I love about you."

Caroline smiled and they sat next to each other on the couch, binge-watching "Chopped: Thanksgiving" editions. Bonnie's mind wandered back to her run-in with Lily.

"So, something interesting happened at the park," she said.

"Oh yeah? What?"

"Lily."

Caroline frowned. "You look okay. She didn't hurt you, did she?"

"No. Actually, I think I was the one who hurt her."

"God, she's so annoying. What did she want?"

"Something she can't have," Bonnie said with a roll of her eyes. "But I found out that she's been the one making me have the dreams about Damon."

"Ew, gross. Who puts sex dreams of their son in someone's head?"

"That's the same thing I said. But then she told me that she only revealed in my head what was already in my heart." She sighed and rested her head on the back of the couch. "The 'heart's desire spell." She rolled her head to look at Caroline, who was biting her lips to keep from smiling. Bonnie pointed in an accusatory way and said, "I swear to God if you say 'I told you so,' I'll burn those pies with extreme prejudice."

"I wasn't going to say that," Caroline said. But then she grinned. "Okay, I was. I told you so. There, you have to let me say it at least once."

"I don't want him!" Bonnie said in something very close to a whine. "He's my friend. I like it that way. And his relationship with Elena is so complicated and has so much baggage that nobody in their right mind would want to compete with it."

"So what you're saying is that you don't _want_ to want him, not that you don't want him."

Bonnie groaned in response.

"You know what you need?" Caroline asked. "A distraction. A pretty, dumb, muscular distraction that will get you laid and won't ask for a commitment."

"That sounds like a horrible idea."

"It sounds like an amazing idea because, let's face it, you need sex. Badly. And since you refuse to ask Damon, even though I'm 99.99% positive he would give it to you, you've got to get it from someone else. First thing after tomorrow, I'm making it my mission to find you a hot hook-up partner. But it has to wait until I can pull off this first Thanksgiving without my mom around."

"Oh my God, Care, I'm so sorry. I've been so caught up in my own drama, that I didn't even think to ask you how you're doing with all this." She reached over and took her friend's hand. "Are you okay?"

Caroline's lips quivered a little but she nodded emphatically. "Yes. I'm okay. I mean, you know my mom couldn't cook worth a damn anyway, so even if I ruin everything, I'll still be a step ahead of her."

She said it in a joking way but her furious blinking told Bonnie that she was fighting back tears. So Bonnie pulled her into her arms and let the vampire cry on her shoulder and she reminded her how proud her mom was of her and promised her that her Thanksgiving was going to kick so much ass. They reminisced about Thanksgivings past, including their favorite dishes from Grams and Elena's mom and putting up the Christmas trees.

"We've been through a lot together," Caroline said, resting her head on Bonnie's shoulder.

"A hell of a lot."

"Let's promise that no matter what happens, we'll always have each other's backs, okay?"

Bonnie squeezed her. "Promise."

 **...**

The boys arrived at exactly noon the next day. Matt carried a case of beer in each hand, Stefan had a cooler full of blood, and Damon was sipping from a bottle of bourbon while precariously dangling a large bottle of tequila in his free hand. When Bonnie opened the door and saw them all, she frowned.

"Wow. Blood and booze. You guys really know what to bring to a Thanksgiving dinner."

"What's Thanksgiving for if not to get drunk with the people you tolerate?" Damon asked as he took another sip and slid inside.

"Happy Thanksgiving, Bonnie," Stefan said, and they gave each other a short hug.

"I'm mad at you," Matt said, when it was just the two of them still remaining in the hallway. "I was good enough to go to Vegas with, and then you dumped me like a bad habit."

"I did not! We talk on the phone, and you know I've been busy."

"You couldn't drive down to little old Mystic Falls and see me in person every once in a while? With everyone gone, it's kind of a lonely place, you know."

He rounded his big blue eyes into that puppy dog expression that he did so well, and Bonnie smiled and roped her arm in his.

"Yes, I will come see you. And no, you are not allowed to give me that look and make me feel guilty. Now come on, I'm sure Caroline is counting the seconds that we're out here talking instead of inside telling her how amazing her dinner is."

"I bet you're glad for all the booze now, huh?" he teased.

Once they were inside, Caroline ushered them all to the ornately decorated table, where she had printed little place cards with all their names on them. Bonnie could tell that Damon was just itching to make a joke, but Stefan grabbed his hand and squeezed until Bonnie was sure she heard a bone pop. Damon grumbled but kept whatever comments he had to himself. And as it turned out, dinner was very good. Caroline had done a great job with the turkey, they had split the side dishes, and between Stefan and Matt, there was hardly any pie left.

"That...was...awesome," Matt said as he sat back and rubbed his stomach. "You ladies really outdid yourselves."

"I'm glad you liked it," Caroline beamed.

"It was incredibly delicious, you two. Thank you," Stefan added. All eyes fell to Damon, who slurped a little of his bourbon and shrugged.

"It wasn't horrible."

"Coming from you, I'll take that as a compliment," Caroline said. "Now, time for games!"

She clapped her hands and moved the party to the living room, where there were a number of options for games: Monopoly, Pictionary, Charades, and the list went on. Stefan and Damon started arguing about which one to play and the other three stepped into the kitchen.

"Bon, seriously, that pie was incredible," Matt said. "I feel like I'm gonna explode but I'm tempted to eat another piece."

"Knock yourself out," she said. "I made it for you anyway."

His blue eyes sparkled. "You did? That was really sweet. Thank you. I guess I'll wrap up the rest and take it home with me. That way, I can have a piece of your pie any time I want."

Bonnie laughed, but Caroline got a weird look on her face and then abruptly grabbed Bonnie's arm.

"Come with me to the bathroom?" she asked, but it really wasn't an option, as she dragged Bonnie with her to her bedroom. They veered off to the bathroom, Caroline shut the door, and then turned the shower on.

"Uh...are we about to shower for some reason?" Bonnie asked, confused.

"I'm just doing that so they can't hear," Caroline said with a quick wave of her hands.

"Okay...what is this about?"

"Matt!"

"What about him?"

"He can be your distraction!"

"What?"

"Remember how we said you need a hot distraction from all the crap that's going on with you? Well, it should be Matt."

"Oh, Care, come on. No."

"Why not? He's been making moon eyes at you all night."

"No he hasn't."

"Oh yes he has. And did you not hear the little emphasis he used when he said he could, and I quote, 'eat your pie any time'? What the hell was that?"

"A very corny joke. You know his sense of humor."

"I know he's been checking you out and staring at your ass every time you walk by."

Bonnie groaned. "Did you get any sleep last night? I think all this Thanksgiving stuff has gone to your brain."

"My brain is functioning just fine, thank you. Why won't you even consider it?"

"Because Matt is my friend! And this is ridiculous! I thought the whole point of having a distraction was so I wouldn't ruin my relationship with Damon. I don't want to ruin it with Matt, either."

"But you know Matt, and you love him Matt, and you trust Matt. He would be soooo sweet to you." She folded her hands under her chin and made a dreamy face. "You guys would make such beautiful children."

"Whoa. Time out. You're getting a little ahead of yourself, don't you think?"

"Just give some thought, okay? That's all I ask."

Bonnie sighed and relented, only because she didn't want to continue the conversation. "Fine."

"Yay! Now go back out there and shake what your mama gave you."

She slapped Bonnie's butt, which only made the witch frown at her, and after Caroline turned the shower off, they returned to the living room with the boys. They agreed on Pictionary, the Salvatore brothers versus Bonnie, Caroline and Matt. Of course, Damon had to add some special rules.

"Whoever loses the round, takes a shot," he announced. "You three are in some trouble. Especially you, Bon-Bon," he said with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

"Oh please," Bonnie scoffed. "We'll see who's talking all that trash after we kick your ass."

The games actually ended up being pretty close. Damon and Stefan had the advantage of being surprisingly artistic with their drawings, so even though they didn't have the best communication skills, their pictures made the guessing part easy. Bonnie and Caroline, on the other hand, could almost guess each other's answers based on even the most incoherent drawing. Poor Matt's pictures all looked like the same stick figures. In the end, they ended up slitting the games and therefore splitting the shots. For the vampires, that was fine. For Bonnie and Matt, however, five losses meant five shots and they were both pretty drunk.

"What the hell was that supposed to be?" Bonnie asked him, unable to control her laughter. "It looked like some kind of anorexic cat taking a dump."

"Shut up," he said, even though he laughed too. He bumped her shoulder with his. "You know I can't draw."

"That's an understatement. Good thing you're cute."

"Oh, I'm cute?"

"Don't act like nobody's ever told you that, Mr. Blue-Eyed Quarterback."

" _You_ haven't. I think I like it."

Bonnie looked at his smiling face and she noticed that he was, indeed, cute. He was more than cute, really, but she had always known that. She'd had a crush on him back in middle school, but even then, he only had eyes for Elena. It felt weird, in a good way, to get flirtatious attention from him. Maybe Caroline was right. Maybe Matt was the perfect distraction.

For the rest of the night, Bonnie did nothing to discourage his advances. She returned his smiles, laughed at his jokes, and let him put his arm around her while they watched football. She saw Caroline's grin. She didn't see Damon's frown.

As the night wound down and they cleaned up, Matt yawned and began to stand up, but Bonnie pulled him back down.

"Whoa, where are you going?" she asked.

"Home, I guess."

"You're drunk, Matt. Just stay here."

"Yeah?" He did his half-smile and leaned in to ask, "and where would I sleep?"

Bonnie felt a little flustered as she seriously contemplated asking him to sleep in her bed. Or to come to her bed and not sleep at all. She was about to suggest it, when a pillow flew into his face.

"There's the couch," Damon said.

He sauntered into Bonnie's bedroom and shut the door behind him. Stefan stifled a snicker when Caroline smacked his arm, and Matt nodded.

"Well, I guess that answers that."

"I'll get you some pillows and blankets," Bonnie said.

She gathered the items from the hall closet and made sure that he was comfortable before she went to her room. She narrowed her eyes at Damon, who was already down to his boxers and relaxing on her bed like he owned it.

"That was rude."

"What?"

"Throwing a pillow in Matt's face and telling him to sleep on the couch."

"Yeah, so? Where else was he gonna sleep?"

She put her hands on her hips and stared at him like he was an idiot. "Gee, I don't know. Maybe in here with me?"

"Why the hell would he do that?"

"Maybe because we weren't planning on getting much sleep, Damon."

His eyebrows dug deep into his forehead, creating a confused frown. Bonnie folded her arms and waited for him to make the connection, and when he did, those same eyebrows yanked up in shock.

"Seriously?" he asked. "You were gonna bang Donovan? Uh, no, not gonna happen."

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize that being my self-proclaimed trainer also gave you permission to have an opinion about my sex life."

"It was in the fine print," he said with a sarcastic smile.

"What I do and who I do it with is none of your business. And there's nothing wrong with Matt."

"He's a loser, so there's something wrong right off the top of my head."

"He is not a loser. He's one of my oldest friends."

"Doesn't make him any less of a loser."

"Look, I get that you've never been crazy about Matt, but I love him and I don't want you to talk about him anymore."

He rolled his eyes. She huffed to the bed and roughly pulled back on the covers on her side. She got in but didn't slide close to him, and they sat in irritated silence for a few minutes.

"I don't know why you're acting all jealous," she muttered.

"Jealous?" He scoffed. "Please, don't flatter yourself. I'm not jealous. I'm possessive."

"The difference being?"

"Jealousy would imply that I either have or want to have some kind of romantic claim to you, and sorry, Judgey, but I don't." She pressed her lips together and narrowed her eyes at him. "Possessive simply means that I don't want to share you."

"That must be a new development because you sure did share Elena with Stefan and you ate up whatever scraps she threw you like a homeless little puppy."

Almost as soon as the words left Bonnie's mouth, she regretted them, and not because they weren't true, but because she knew that she had touched on a sore spot of his. The little smirk that had formed on his face fell off like cheese on a cracker.

"Look, I'm sorry," she said with a sigh. "I shouldn't have said that."

"No, you shouldn't have."

He stared at the TV, which was doing a marathon of "House Hunters," even as she stared at him and silently tried to coax him to look at her. He then suddenly turned on his side, away from her, and punched a pillow underneath his head a few times.

"Wow, really?" Bonnie asked. "You're just gonna turn away from me?"

He didn't respond, and she wondered whether she should leave him alone or try to talk to him again. The sober version of herself would have probably let it be and attempted to fix it in the morning. But the drunk version of herself, the one with five shots of tequila rolling around in her head, was unsatisfied with his literal cold shoulder. So she poked his back a few times.

"Turn around," she said.

He didn't respond.

"You cannot seriously be pouting right now."

She grabbed his arm and tried to force him to turn around, and when that didn't work, she used her whole body to climb on top of him and make him turn. He fought her off a little, but she knew that he was only using normal strength, so she eventually succeeding in getting him onto his back, while she straddled him.

"I said I was sorry," she said.

"And it was not accepted, in case you didn't notice."

Bonnie groaned. "I'm sorry! God, what else do you want me to say? I didn't know that merely _mentioning_ your love triangle would send you spiraling into an inferiority complex."

His lips pursed together, even tighter than before, if possible.

"You really know how to make a guy feel good, don't you?" he asked.

"Okay, fine, I shouldn't have said that either, but we both know it's true. So Stefan had Elena first. Who cares?"

"I do," he snapped back. "He always gets everyone first and they always love him more. My mom. Katherine. Lexie. Elena. Hell, even you."

"Me?" she asked, eyes wide with surprise. "What are you talking about?"

"You liked him better at first."

"Of course I did. He was nice and you were a total asshole."

"I'm still an asshole."

"Yeah, but now you're _my_ asshole."

Damon's jaws clenched, but she could tell from the way his hard eyes softened a little that she had said the right thing. So she kept rolling with it.

"I did prefer Stefan at first, but now I prefer you. By a long shot. You annoy me like nobody else on the planet, but you also make me laugh. And you're loyal. And fun. And you think I can do anything, even when I don't think I can. I like your stupid, corny jokes and I like that I can count on you."

She should have stopped there, but the liquor just kept her mouth going.

"Stefan is nice. But he doesn't know me like you do. He doesn't know my secrets. He can't read me like a book. He didn't try everything in his power to get me back. He didn't hold me for three days so I could sleep. He and I don't have anything like this...thing...that you and I have. This..." She waved her hand around, trying to come up with the right word, and when one popped into her head, she didn't stop it in time. "...intimacy."

And there it was, their relationship exposed in a way that she wasn't sure either of them wanted to vocalize. She almost apologized, ready to blame her loose lips on the tequila, but she stopped short when she saw how Damon was looking at her. It was hard to describe, really, but it was different than any look he had ever given her before. And then he made it worse when his eyes drop to her lips. They lingered on her mouth for a moment before he dragged his gaze back to hers. They stared at each other, and the whole atmosphere of the room changed. Suddenly, Bonnie felt warm and uncomfortable and completely unsure of what was happening.

Their stare was broken when Matt knocked on the bedroom door.

"Hey, Bon," he said through the wood, "can I use your bathroom? Caroline's showering in hers and I really gotta pee."

Bonnie scrambled off of Damon, both thankful for and irritated by the interruption. She opened the door for Matt and laughed off his apologies as he raced into her bathroom and shut the door. She wrapped her arms around herself while she waited for Matt to get out, unwilling to look at Damon even though she felt his stare burning a hole through her. When Matt opened the door, he apologized again and returned to the living room. Bonnie slid into the bathroom behind him and took a few minutes to just get her thoughts together. She took an extraordinarily long shower, brushed her teeth, wrapped her hair and washed her face. She was buying time, and she suspected that Damon knew that.

When she returned to the bedroom, holding her towel tightly over her body, he was resting with his eyes closed and an arm behind his head. He looked like he was asleep, but she knew better.

She gathered up some pajamas and after she dressed in the bathroom and turned all the lights and television off, she slid into her side of the bed. She turned away from Damon and tried to sleep, but her efforts were ruined when he slid in behind her and wrapped his arm around her waist. He kissed her hair, but didn't say a word. It was his way of telling her that nothing had changed.

But she knew, and she figured that he did too, that everything had changed.

And she was as nervous as she was excited.


	12. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

The first time Damon saw Bonnie, he had her pegged pretty quickly. Although she was the oldest of her trio of friends, she was the least experienced and most reserved. Where Elena allowed other people to make her decisions for her, and Caroline jumped into situations without thinking or looking back, Bonnie was more cautious and wary, judgmental and completely unaware of her own power. She considered everything. In other words, she was not easily manipulated, and that was exactly why Damon overlooked her. She hated him, of course, and with good reason. Although he pretended to hate her, too, the truth was that he always had a bit of a soft spot for the witch. Something about her unwavering loyalty and stubbornness reminded him of himself.

The first time Damon realized that Bonnie was pretty was at the Masquerade ball. The night had been so crazy and there was so much going on that he couldn't even remember interacting with her. But he did remember how naturally beautiful she looked with her hair down in soft curls and a mask on her face that brought all the attention to her eyes.

The first time he realized that she was hot was at the decades dance, when she was squeezed into that skin-tight sixties dress. She had pretty much kept her figure obscured from his leering eyes, always dressed in billowy tops and jeans that didn't accentuate her curves. He had actually done a double take when he saw her, with that ridiculous wig on her head and a dress that couldn't hide her perky chest or her surprisingly curvy behind. He'd flirted with her that night, and to his surprise, she flirted back. It was also the same night that they forged a very tenuous friendship, and he was shocked by how much it bothered him when she fake-died.

They went through their ups and downs after that but they always seemed to have each other's backs. He didn't realize how much he had grown to like her until he returned from the prison world and she didn't. The guilt that racked him was worse than he had ever felt, and getting her back consumed nearly all of his thoughts.

He was thinking about the course of their relationship as he sat in front of the fireplace in the Salvatore boarding house, nursing a glass of bourbon. The rest of Mystic Falls was partying it up at the Lockwood mansion in the name of Christmas, while Damon sat alone and pondered. His phone buzzed every few minutes, mostly with messages from Bonnie, who he was pointedly ignoring. She wanted to know where he was, why he wasn't at the party, if he was coming, and why the hell he wasn't answering her messages.

The truth was that he wasn't sure he wanted to see her at the party because he knew that she would be all dolled up, wearing something skimpy, makeup flawless. And that was a problem because he had recently come to the conclusion that he was attracted to her. It happened just a few weeks earlier on Thanksgiving night. They were at the girls' apartment, and Bonnie was sitting on top of him, drunkenly rambling on about all the things she liked about him. She wasn't wearing anything particularly sexy, and her speech was a little slurred compliments of Jose Cuervo, but she looked so...damn... _cute_.

It was the first time he had ever wanted to have sex with her. Of course, he had idly wondered what she was like in bed. He was a guy, after all, and she was a young, vivacious, pretty woman. He'd wondered in the past if she was a screamer, if she was as bossy in bed as she was in regular life, or whether she finally let her guard down and allowed her partner to have his wicked way with her.

But that night was the first time he had wondered those things with _him_ in the picture: how she would scream _his_ name, if she would use her magic to hold _him_ down while she rode the hell out of him, whether _he_ could screw her senseless and drink her blood when it was all over. It took every ounce of willpower, something he didn't have in great supply, not to flip her off of him and rip her clothes off.

Damon clenched his teeth and took a big swallow of his watered-down bourbon. For all his posturing, he had always been a one-woman man, and ever since he'd finally won Elena's heart, he hadn't even _looked_ at another woman. He certainly hadn't been seriously attracted to one, and yet there he found himself, wishing like hell that he could bang Elena's best friend until her voice was gone. And it wasn't like Bonnie would even entertain the thought. He was sure that she only saw him as a friend and she was way too good for him anyway.

Still, the thoughts lingered. They were there the morning after Thanksgiving, when Bonnie woke up and told him that her head felt like someone had swung a a hammer at her. They were there whenever the two of them hung out and trained. They were definitely there when he slept over, which he did a lot less these days. He made a point to wake up before her so she didn't feel the evidence of his thoughts pressed up against her butt.

"Hey," Stefan said as he appeared in the room. "You going to the party? I'm heading that way."

"Nope."

"Oh, why not?"

Damon threw back the rest of his bourbon and snarled. "Because. I've just realized a very inconvenient truth."

He glanced at his brother to see Stefan's forehead crumple into a frown. "Um, okay. What are you talking about?"

"Sorry, little brother, it's private."

Stefan rolled his eyes. "Fine. I can see that you're in a mood. Whenever you decide to stop acting like a jackass, come to the party." Stefan's phone beeped and he read a message. "Oh, and answer your phone. Bonnie's trying to reach you."

Damon only scoffed when his brother left the house. He dragged himself off the couch and grabbed the bottle of bourbon. Rather than pour some more into a glass, he just tipped the bottle into his mouth and chugged the whole thing in several gulps. When he finished, he felt a little buzzed, but that wasn't good enough. He pulled out another bottle from the bar and guzzled that one down, too. His brain stopped firing on all synapses and when he felt himself sway on his feet, he knew he was drunk.

And drunk Damon was fun Damon.

When his phone buzzed yet again, he saw another message from Bonnie.

 _Where the hell are you?! And why aren't you answering your phone?_

It took a little effort on his part to coordinate his fingers enough to type back an answer.

 _at the house_

Bonnie's response was immediate.

 _Is there some reason you're ignoring me?_

 _fell asleep. sry._

 _Fine, now that you're up, come over here._

Damon's lips curled into a devious smile and he chuckled when he wrote back a reply.

 _u want me to cum?_

 _Duh. Why do you think I'm blowing up your phone?_

 _ok i will cum but only for u_

 _Are you drunk?_

 _yes_

 _Drinking by yourself is kind of sad, old man. Get over here. It's not as fun without you._

That was really all the provocation he needed to call Stefan and ask him to turn around and pick him up. Of course, Stefan grumbled about it but did it anyway. Damon grabbed another bottle from the bar and sipped it as he walked in a zigzag to Stefan's car.

"If you spill that in my car, I'll kill you," Stefan said.

"Pssh, please. I'm an expert. I can handle my booze, mother."

He thought maybe his words sounded a little slurred, but it was hard to tell so he sat up straighter to give the impression that he was okay. Stefan frowned as he pulled off.

"What was your problem earlier?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he sang.

"How much of that did you drink in the ten minutes that I was gone?"

"This is my third bottle," Damon said with a grin. He swung the bottle between his fingers and Stefan shook his head in disapproval.

"Something must really be bothering you."

"Nope. I'm just peachy."

Damon grinned and rested his head against the back of the seat. "Turn on some Christmas music, man," he demanded. "It's Christmas, right? Let's sing about snowmen and shit."

"I don't have any Christmas music in here."

"You're such a fucking Scrooge, Stefan. Jesus, I should buy you a new personality for Christmas." He looked out the window as they drove, and then he started singing. "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire...hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm..."

"Are you seriously singing right now?"

"Jack Frost nipping at your nose. Hmm hmm hmmmmmm hmm hmm hmm."

"If that's your idea of doing the instrument sounds, you're doing a terrible job."

"Yuletide carols being sung by a chooooooir..."

"Damon, if you don't stop, I'm gonna throw you out of the car."

"You think they'll have mistletoe at this party?"

"Caroline planned it, so I'm sure there will be some." Stefan glanced at his brother questioningly. "Why do you care?"

"I don't," Damon said with a shrug. "Just asking."

Stefan didn't ask any more questions, but the silence was soon filled with Damon's horrid singing again. Thankfully, they arrived at the Lockwood house and Stefan was more than happy to unload his brother on someone else. As soon as they saw Bonnie laughing with Matt and a couple of other people, Stefan practically dragged Damon to her and patted her shoulder.

"He's your problem now," he said.

Before Bonnie could ask what he meant, Damon wrapped her up in a tight hug.

"Bonniiiieee," he said as she swung her around a little.

"Wow, okay," was her response. She pulled back and caught a whiff of his breath. "You smell like you drank a liquor store."

"I'm a little loose," he agreed. He showed her the bottle he had brought in and took a swig. "Want some?"

"Uh, no thanks. I think one of us should be sober."

"Why's that? We might try to take advantage of each other if we're drunk?" he asked with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

Bonnie opened her mouth, then closed it, and apparently decided against answering at all.

"Hey, Bon, come on, you promised me a dance," Matt said. He looped his arm in hers and whisked her off before Damon could object. Bonnie looked over her shoulder and mouthed "sorry," but that did nothing to quell the irritation Damon felt. He responded by taking a gulp of his bourbon. She frowned. He smirked.

Rather than torture himself with the sight of them bumping and grinding like teenagers, he roamed around the large house in search of something, or someone, interesting. Caroline and Stefan were off talking in a corner somewhere, and he really didn't know anyone else. He turned his nose up in disgust at every girl who approached him, and after about ten minutes, he decided that he was bored. He wondered out to the large patio and leaned against the stone railing. A few people were playing in the snow, making snow angels and throwing snowballs at each other.

"Hey," Bonnie said as she stepped outside. She wrapped her arms around herself. "I was looking for you."

"I got tired of watching you and the quarterback have fake sex."

She snorted. "We were not having fake sex. Matt can't even dance."

"I noticed." He leaned his back against the stone and sipped his bourbon. "So, did you fuck him yet?"

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Do you always have to be so crude?" He shrugged. "No, we didn't do anything."

"Sure seemed like you wanted to."

"I was drunk, and so was he. But we're friends and we've been friends too long for me to jeopardize it for sex."

She stood next to him and swiped the bottle from his hand. She drank some and grimaced.

"That tastes like motor oil."

"Excuse you? This is good stuff. You liked it in '94."

"Temporary insanity. Being stuck with your for four months will do that to a girl."

She smiled, and so did he. He noticed that she was shivering, so he put his bottle down and pulled his leather jacket off. He wrapped it around her and then took her hand and led them to a swing underneath the big white columns on the Lockwood porch. He put his arm around her and she snuggled up to his side as they swung.

"I love Christmas," she said. "It's my favorite holiday. What about you?"

"Halloween," he said with no hesitation.

"Of course. A night of debauchery is right up your alley."

"Mm hm. But if Christmas was like this when I was a human, it would have been my favorite holiday. Back then, it was more about the religiousness of it all. Is religiousness a word?"

"I don't think so," she chuckled.

"Whatever, you know what I mean."

They kept swinging while people played in the snow, and then Bonnie looked up at him and nudged him slightly.

"Are you okay?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah. Why?"

"I don't know. You've seemed different lately. Like something is bothering you."

He met her concerned gaze and in his drunken state, he seriously considered blurting out exactly what was wrong with him: her. Her damned eyes, rounded with worry about him. Her soft body and delicious scent. _She_ was what was bothering him. But instead of telling her that, he opted for the next best truth.

"I miss Elena."

He thought he saw a flash of disappointment in her eyes, but it was so gone so quickly that he was sure he imagined it.

"I do, too," she said sympathetically.

"You think she's okay, while she's off in her little dream world?"

"I think she's fine, Damon. And I think she would want you to be happy while she's gone."

"You don't think I'm happy?"

"I think you're holding back. But I won't push it. You'll tell me when you're ready."

She rested her head on his shoulder again and he closed his eyes and leaned his head back on the swing. When the hell had Bonnie Bennett gotten so perfect and mature? She seemed completely confident that he would open up to her when he was ready, and he knew she was right. He didn't know whether to pick a fight with her to keep his distance, or throw her over his shoulder and carry her up to one of the many empty rooms in the Lockwood house. He blew out a breath and opened his eyes, only to find mistletoe hanging right above their heads.

"Oooooh, looky there," he said with a wicked smile. "Mistletoe."

Bonnie's head rose and she saw the offending plant. Her eyes caught Damon's and he smiled even bigger at how uncertain she looked.

"We don't have to kiss, you know," she said.

"Yes, we do. It's tradition. What would Caroline say if she found out that we were under mistletoe and didn't kiss?"

"How would Caroline even find out?"

"I'd tell her."

Bonnie pinched his thigh.

"Just a little kiss," Damon said.

"No."

"What's a kiss between friends?"

"You're drunk."

"And? I'm not asking you to strip and do a lap dance for me." He paused for a second, letting that play out in his head. "I mean, I wouldn't say no to that if you offered."

"You're a pervert."

"And you're a coward."

She pursed her lips and scrunched her nose up, which let him know that she was thinking about it. He planted his feet on the ground to stop their swinging motion and he stared at her, mostly because he knew it made her uncomfortable. He edged his head in closer to her and when she didn't pull away, he was elated.

"I won't bite," he said lowly. "Not unless you're into that."

She didn't respond, but she didn't move either, and he inched closer and closer. He didn't realize how badly he wanted to kiss her until their lips were so close that he could almost taste her lip gloss.

"Well don't you two look cozy?"

They jumped apart to find Lily standing in front of them, looking a combination of amused and annoyed.

"What do you want?" Damon barked.

Lily ignored him and said to Bonnie, "going back on our deal? Shame, shame, Miss Bennett. I thought we had an even trade and here you are trying to get yours without me. I must say I'm disappointed."

"What deal? What the hell is she talking about?" Damon asked.

"There was no deal," Bonnie said through gritted teeth. She stood up in front of Lily. "I thought I made myself clear the last time we talked. I gave you a pass once, but I won't be so nice again."

"It is I who has been too nice," Lily said. Her face drew into a serious stare and the smile dropped from her lips. "I tried to allow you to come to me on your own. I tried gentle persuasion. But apparently, I'll have to use force. Pity."

Before Bonnie or Damon could ask what that was supposed to mean, Lily darted into the yard and grabbed the first person she saw. She vamped out and bit the guy on the neck, causing a blood-curdling scream to come from him. Everyone else in the yard screamed as Lily drained the man of nearly all of his blood. She stopped just before he died and threw his crumpled body onto the ground. She sped back into the house, leaving Damon and Bonnie to figure out what to do.

"You give him some blood and compel as many of them as possible," she said quickly. "I'll try to stop Lily."

They rushed off in different directions. While Damon gave his blood to the dying man and then sped around trying to compel all the witnesses to forget what they had seen, Bonnie dashed inside to find Caroline, Stefan and Matt. She ran into the crowded dance hall and squeezed her way through the throng of people in search of her friends. She spotted Caroline and tried to call out to her, only to have her voice drowned out by Lily's. She whipped her head around and saw Lily standing on the stage with the musicians, holding a microphone in her hand.

"Ladies and gentlemen, if you'll excuse me," she announced.

The music stopped and everyone turned to her.

"I apologize for interrupting your good time, but I just wanted to let you know that you're all about to die. And you can thank your friend, Bonnie Bennett."

That was the extent of her announcement, and the crowd looked around in confusion. Then, out of nowhere, ten or fifteen vampires appeared and began to attack. Screams and cries of agony went up all around Bonnie, and the people who weren't being attacked were trying to run, causing mass hysteria. She got crushed in between people and she tried her best to get away or do something, but her brain wasn't working fast enough. She yelped when someone grabbed her from behind but she was flooded with relief when she saw that it was Stefan.

"We have to get out of here," he said over the loud yells and commotion.

"No, we have to stop her!"

"She's got more people than last time! We're outnumbered! Let's go!"

She tried to fight him but he picked her up and sped her out of the house. She was kicking and swinging to get away from him even as he loaded her into Caroline's SUV, where Matt, Damon and Caroline already were. She gave him a slight aneurysm, just enough to jump out of the car.

"Bonnie, get your ass in here!" Damon yelled.

She ignored him and held up her hand, sending every bit of magic she had towards the Lockwood house.

"What are you doing?" Matt shouted.

"Locking the vampires in there," she said.

The others watched as human after human escaped from the house, but no vampires. Damon saw Bonnie begin to slump a little and he hopped out of the backseat and held her up.

"Stop," he told her. "Let it go."

"We can't let them out," she said. "They'll kill everyone."

"And you'll kill yourself if you keep doing that. Lily's got a whole team full of heretics and they're fighting you back. You can't do it alone."

She stubbornly refused to quit, until he grabbed her face and made her look at him.

"Keep doing that and I'll snap your neck myself."

Bonnie finally dropped her hand, and he scooped her up and put her in the car. Caroline raced off towards the Salvatore house, and once they were all safely inside, Bonnie did an extra protection spell on the mansion.

"What the fuck was that?" Caroline asked once they all gathered in the living room.

"I don't know," Bonnie said. Damon saw her hands shaking and when she looked at him, he sent her a questioning stare. She shook her head slightly, silently telling him they would talk about it later.

"This is a problem," Stefan said as he paced. "Lily's officially lost her mind and now she's got a whole team full of heretics to do her bidding."

"Well, you said no to killing her when we had the chance," Damon reminded him.

Stefan opened his mouth to respond, but Matt said, "let's save the brother bickering shit for a time when a bunch of crazy ass vampire freaks aren't about to kill everyone in town."

"Agreed," Caroline said. "We need a plan."

"We need more people is what we need," Damon said.

He watched Bonnie as everyone but her bandied around bad ideas about how they could handle the situation. Caroline went so far as suggesting that they call in Klaus, which made Stefan's forehead deteriorate so much that it almost disappeared. When an hour had gone by and they resolved nothing, they agreed to split up for the time being and reconvene after they'd all had some time to think. Damon followed Bonnie up to his room and as soon as they were alone, he threw his hands up.

"You want to tell me what that was about?"

"Your guess is as good as mine," she mumbled.

"Why the hell have you been meeting with Lily and not telling me about it?"

"I haven't been meeting with her! She's been stalking me!"

"And when was the last time she stalked you?"

"I don't know. Right before Thanksgiving."

"Why is this the first I'm hearing about it?"

"I'm sorry, are you my father now?" she asked, putting her hands on her hips.

"I'm trying to keep you alive, Bonnie! You can't keep secrets like that from me."

"I'm not keeping secrets. It was a stupid pointless conversation and I put her in her place!"

"Apparently, you didn't. Since she's now recruited more heretics and seems pretty set on burning this whole town to the ground!"

She pressed her lips together and he blew out an aggravated breath. He ran his hands through his hair and asked the next question more calmly.

"What is going on with you and her? What deal is she talking about?"

"It's nothing."

"It's not nothing. Stop saying that, and tell me so I can help."

She fidgeted with her hands, bounced around on her feet, and looked at everything but him. He crossed his arms and waited for her to come clean.

"She wants me to make her immortal like Qetsiyah did for Silas," she finally said. "I told her no, and now she's throwing a fit about it."

"Why would she ever think you would do that for her?"

More fidgeting.

"She thinks she can give me something."

"What?"

"Don't worry about it."

Bonnie tried to walk past him to the bathroom, but he slid in her way and took her arms in his hands. He held gently enough not to hurt her, but firmly enough that she knew he wasn't playing.

"What on Earth does she think you want bad enough to give her immortality?" he asked slowly.

He stared at her and watched as her jaws clenched and she tried to get out of telling him. But when he didn't let her go or make any hint that he was going to drop it, she sighed loudly.

"You, okay?" she said.

Damon frowned. "What?"

"She offered me _you_."

He dropped his hands and shook his head in confusion. "I don't understand."

Bonnie sighed again. "Those sex dreams I was having weren't about Jeremy. They were about you." His eyes widened. "And she was the one making me have them. She was trying to make me feel a certain way about you, so that I would want to be a vampire with you and I could be strong enough to make her permanently immortal. I told her no, and she apparently went psycho. Okay? Now you know."

She moved away from him and ran her hands over her face in exasperation, while he stood there, trying to comprehend everything she had just told him. His heart was kind of stuck on the fact that she was having sex dreams about him, but then his brain reminded him that those dreams weren't of her own free will.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked after a few strained minutes of silence.

"And say what?" she asked with a dry laugh. "Anything I said would have made things awkward between us, and I don't want that. You're my best friend and I can't lose you. My life is so fucked up and I can't afford to lose anything or anyone else."

"You wouldn't lose me."

"If you thought I had feelings for you, I would." He started to tell her that she was wrong. He wanted to tell her that he was pretty sure he had feelings for her, but she spoke first. "You're in love with Elena. I know that, and I respect that, and I'm happy to have you in my life just the way you are. We're friends, and that's all we'll ever be. Right?"

She didn't look very certain when she added the "right," but he assumed it was because she was already uncomfortable with the conversation. He wanted to tell her that she was not right at all, but he was still a little drunk and he knew his judgment was off. She clearly didn't like him the way he liked her, so he nodded.

"Right."

"Okay," she sighed. She rubbed her face again. "I'm sorry about keeping all this from you. No more secrets." He nodded again, mostly because he wasn't confident that he wouldn't say something stupid. "Do you mind if I take a shower in your bathroom?"

"Knock yourself out," he said.

Damon excused himself from the room and went down the stairs. He thought about pouring some more liquor, but he nixed the idea just as quickly as it popped into his head. He decided to put his powers of obsession on something other than Bonnie and Elena and booze. He headed to the massive Salvatore library and started pulling out books, searching for anything that might help with Lily.

"Hey," Stefan said a few minutes later. "What are you doing?"

"Researching." Damon didn't look up from his book at first, but he did when he felt his brother looking at him. "What?"

"You okay?"

"Yeah." He frowned when he saw the pensive look on Stefan's face, and he rolled his eyes. "Let me guess. You heard my discussion with Bonnie."

"It was less of a discussion and more of a screaming match. I wasn't trying to overhear it...it just kind of happened."

"Great," he groaned. "Are you here to give me a lecture now?"

"No."

He actually seemed to mean that, so Damon eased up a little. "I'm fine."

"Okay. But if you're ever not fine, or if you just wanna get some stuff off your chest, you can tell me, you know."

"Yeah. I know."

Stefan nodded, and just like that, the matter was dropped. "So how can I help?"

The two of them poured over books and were eventually joined by Bonnie and Caroline. Matt was curled up on a bed somewhere, dead to the world. The four of them worked quietly but consistently, looking for anything that might lead them in the direction of something to use against a team of witchpires. Bonnie yawned a few hours later and even though she tried to stay up, Caroline made her go to bed and joined her. Stefan threw in the towel, too, leaving Damon alone in the library. His head hurt from the searching, and partly from the copious amounts of bourbon, and he was about to call it a night when an idea struck him. He pulled out his phone, made a few phone calls, and finally got the phone number of someone who might able to help.

"Who is this and why the hell are you calling me this late?" the person answered.

"Damon Salvatore," he said. "And it's important."

"What's going on?"

"I need you and everyone you know to get to Mystic Falls as soon as possible. Bonnie needs you."

Those were the magic words. Damon stayed up all night to greet his guest and her friends, and when they showed up about eight hours later at his doorstep, he grinned and let them in. They talked strategy while the rest of the household trickled in slowly, with Bonnie bringing up the rear.

"Hey's what's going..." She stopped in her tracks when she saw Abbie, Lucy, and thirteen other Bennett witches spread around the living room. "...on?"

"Hey there, cuz," Lucy said with a smile. "We heard you need some reinforcements."

Bonnie blinked a few times in disbelief, and then she smiled and rushed into her mother's and cousin's arms. The rest of the witches, some of whom Bonnie hadn't seen since she was a little girl and some she'd never met at all, crowded around her. They hugged her and took turns telling her what a lovely young woman she'd grown into. One of them even said that she could feel her power vibrating off of her in waves.

Damon smiled to himself and tiptoed into the library, where he shut the doors behind him. He figured he'd give the family some time to reconnect, and then it was time to get down to business. But first, he needed a nap. He kicked off his shoes and stretched out on the couch. He pulled a blanket over his body and was about to drift off when he heard the doors slide open and then close.

"Go away, Stefan," he said without opening his eyes. "I'm sleepy and your nagging will have to wait."

He felt someone come close to him, but the voice that spoke wasn't Stefan's.

"Was this your doing?" Bonnie asked.

He opened his eyes and saw Bonnie kneeling on the floor in front of the couch. The smile she wore was more radiant that any he had seen from her in a very long time, and it warmed his dead heart to know that he had something to do with it.

"Maybe," he said with a shrug.

"Thank you."

"It's no problem. _Someone_ had to come up with a plan and God knows Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb weren't going to." She chuckled, and he smiled. "This is what we do, right? You and me. Come up with good plans and beat the bad guys."

"Yep. We're a good team."

He nodded in agreement and she took his hands and said, "sit up." Damon eyed her suspiciously but did as she said. She made him scoot further off the couch, until his butt was just barely perched on the edge.

"Close your eyes," she said.

"What are you doing?"

"Do you trust me?"

"Marginally."

"Then do it, please."

He made a show of sighing, but he closed his eyes. He heard her moving around, getting something from her jeans, maybe. He squirmed around a little, only to be told to hold still. He was about to ask her what she was doing, but then she kissed him.

His eyes shot open in surprise. He thought he was imagining it, but when he saw her kneeling in front of him, eyes closed, and her lips on his, he realized that it was actually real. And then it was over. Just as soon as he'd wrapped his mind around the fact that she was kissing him, she was pulling away. She opened her eyes and a blush came over her brown cheeks. She briefly looked down and licked her lips, which made him do the same.

"For last night," she said. She lowered an arm that he didn't even realize was raised and in her hand, he saw mistletoe. "Because we were so rudely interrupted."

Damon blinked about fifty times because he wasn't sure how else to respond. He wasn't able to articulate anything before Bonnie stood up and licked her lips again.

"Merry Christmas," she whispered. "I'll make sure nobody disturbs you while you nap."

His eyes were glued to her butt as she walked away and closed the doors behind her. He stared straight ahead for a few minutes, rendered thoughtless and speechless, and then he fell back onto the couch and groaned.

He was so screwed.


	13. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Damon couldn't sleep. He tried to but his lips were still tingling from that surprise kiss from Bonnie. On top of that, he was aggravated with himself for being so affected by a little peck on the lips. He tossed and turned on the sofa but once he finally quieted the thoughts about Bonnie, his vampire hearing picked up on the chatter coming from inside the house. He heard everyone talking about their plans for Lily and the heretics and when it became obvious that he wasn't going to get any sleep, he crept out the library and grabbed a bottle of bourbon. He tiptoed out of the house while everyone else was gathered in the kitchen, and then he fired up his Camaro and drove off.

He didn't have a particular destination in mind, and he ended up on the edge of the woods. He took his bourbon with him as he meandered through the trees, sipping a little here and there. He stopped when he got to the Salvatore crypt. After a few short seconds of internal debate, he walked inside and saw the coffin where Elena rested. The polished wood had a glow to it, courtesy of the protection spell. Damon ran his hand along the smooth surface and then sat down next to it. He just stared for a while, drinking as he did so.

"Fancy meeting you here," he finally said. He smirked a little at the silence, and then he sighed and rested his head against the coffin. "You've been gone a long time. Did you know that? It's been, like, eight months or something. Eight months." He shook his head in disbelief.

"I've stayed out of trouble. Mostly. You'd be happy to know that aside from my initial downward spiral, I haven't killed anyone or done anything too cringeworthy. My crazy ass mother is causing some trouble, though. I guess the apples don't fall too far from the tree."

He drank and sighed and let silence fill up the crypt before he spoke again.

"Stefan is fine. He's chasing Blondie around like a lost baby. Caroline is her usual self. Matt is exactly the same as you left him: useless." He snorted at his own joke and tried not to notice the one person that he didn't list. He ran his finger around the rim of his bottle. "I don't even know why I'm here. It's not like I can see you or talk to you for real."

He could practically hear Stefan's preachy voice telling him that he knew exactly why he was there and to stop being a chicken and come clean.

"Okay, fine," he groaned. "I do know why I'm here, but I don't think you're gonna like it. It's about Bonnie."

Damon moved so that his back was pressed against the wall and he was looking at the coffin, trying his hardest to imagine Elena's face when he broke the news to her.

"She's fine. I mean, there's nothing wrong with her. Nothing's happened, yet. It's just..." He looked at the bourbon bottle and stalled before he found the courage to admit his feelings to his comatose girlfriend. "I like her," he said quietly. Once the words left his mouth, he looked up and stared at the coffin. "I like her as more than a friend."

There was some part of him that expected Elena to pop up and give him that brokenhearted look that she did so well. He expected her to cry and yell and ask him how he could betray her with her own best friend. Of course, none of that happened. Elena didn't wake up and Damon was still there, confessing to empty space.

"I don't know when it happened," he said. "I mean, I guess I realized it a few weeks ago but maybe the feelings have been there for a while. I don't know. It's not like it happened while I was with you or anything. I still love you, of course. You're it for me, you know?" When she didn't respond, Damon sighed and pressed his head back. "This is so screwed up. I don't even _want_ to like her. It's like she just...crawled under my skin or something. I want to be with her all the time. I want to know everything about her. And I definitely don't want her to be with anyone else. She joked about sleeping with Donovan and I swear I wanted to snap his neck. Just the thought of it..." He made a choking motion with his hands and then chuckled at himself.

"Look at me," he said quietly. "You haven't even been gone for a year and I'm ready to pounce on your best friend. What am I supposed to do, Elena? Tell me something. Give me some kind of sign."

When nothing happened, Damon drank some more of his bourbon and sat quietly for a couple of hours. When the bourbon was all gone, he picked himself up and dusted himself off. He touched the coffin reverently and closed the door to the crypt. He drove back home, intent on taking a shower and trying to clear his head of all the cluttered, confusing thoughts. He heard a flurry of activity in the house but he ignored it all. He slipped into his bedroom and started disrobing once the door shut. He toed off his boots and his shirt hit the floor right as he entered his bathroom. His fingers were about to unzip his pants when he stopped in his tracks because the object of his affections was soaking in his bathtub like she owned it.

It was obvious that Bonnie hadn't heard him come in, because she didn't move a muscle. Her hair was pushed back from her forehead, encased in a headband. Her eyes were closed and her body was submerged under a thick lining of bubbles. Her brightly-colored toes poked out on the other end and Damon could see the water shimmering off of her smooth brown skin. His mind immediately jumped to the fact that she was naked, in his tub, only a few feet away. He licked his lips and decided to make his presence known before his urges got the best of him and he jumped into the tub with her.

"I don't recall ordering a naked lady," he said.

Bonnie jumped and her eyes sprang open when she heard his voice. He sported a smug smile and she smiled shyly.

"Sorry," she said. "I went to the library to ask if it was okay but you weren't there."

"So you just helped yourself to my tub?" he asked as he walked towards her.

"I called, but when you didn't answer, I figured you wouldn't care."

His blue eyes trailed once again from her face to her toes. "Well, the price of admission is that you have to move some of those bubbles and let me see what you're working with."

He meant it, but he said it jokingly because that's what she expected from him: lewd jokes and silliness. He wondered how freaked out she would have been if she knew he was serious.

"Ha, ha," she said dryly. He sat down on the floor next to the tub, with his head at the same end as her feet. "Where'd you go?"

"Driving," he said with a shrug. "Needed to clear my head."

She raised an eyebrow. "Something bothering you?"

"Nothing for you to worry about." He reached into the water and gently took one of her feet. He pressed his thumb into her skin and tried not to get too aroused when she groaned. "What's the plan for Lily?"

He listened at first, while she explained that the group consensus was to split up and try to take on Lily and her heretics in small groups, rather than a big bloody battle that might leave some, if not all, of them dead. They were going to do a locator spell first to figure out where the witchpires liked to gather and how they could catch them off-guard and alone. Damon nodded and mm hm'ed every now and then, even when his attention veered from the conversation and focused more on the awesome foot massage he was giving her.

He gently dug his fingers into the soft flesh of her foot, causing her interrupt her talking with the occasional grunt or "that feels good." He got on his knees and used both hands on one foot, before switching to the other. He wasn't a foot guy, _per se_ , but he appreciated that Bonnie's were soft and dainty and cute. He traced his fingers down her heel and then encircled her ankle. He made sure to look at her while she spoke, before he walked his fingers down her leg. He encountered nothing but perfectly smooth, supple skin and all he could think about was how much he wanted to slide his hand all the way down and touch her in the middle of her legs.

Even as she spoke, he could picture what she looked like down there. The image assaulted him fiercely. Knowing that it was right there, ripe for the taking and nude and probably delicious, made him want to dive his head under the water and have a taste to satisfy his curiosity.

"Damon?" Bonnie asked.

He snapped out his thoughts and realized that he was holding her leg a little tightly, so he softened his grip.

"What do you think about that?" she asked.

He blinked a few times, trying to recall whatever the hell she wanted him to answer.

"What was the question?"

She smiled softly and tilted her head to the side. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, sorry. I was thinking about something."

"You want to share?"

He contemplated telling her that his mind had been preoccupied with thoughts of hoisting her hips out of the water and eating her out until she fainted, but he figured he might not be able to play that off as a joke.

"Just ready to get this bitch off our backs, once and for all," he said, referring to Lily.

"Me too."

"Great." He hopped up and turned around before she could see the front of his pants. "Then dry yourself off and let's get to work."

Damon left her in the bathroom and he returned to his bedroom. He plopped face-down on the bed and tried not to listen, even though every sound of her cleaning and scrubbing her body was played out with his super-hearing as though he was right there next to her. When she stood up and the water droplets dripped from her body, he buried his head underneath a pillow to keep from sneaking a look, even though the image he conjured up in his head was probably just as nice as the real thing. He heard her wrap the towel around her body and her bare feet padded into his bedroom.

The scent of jasmine and honey permeated the room as she took her sweet time putting some clothes on. He gritted his teeth as he heard the towel drop. She slid some panties up her legs, followed by jeans. He tried to block out the rest of the sounds and it felt like hours before she actually left the room. As soon as she closed the door, he jumped up and locked it. He stripped out of his clothes in record time and started up a cold shower, but it did nothing to soothe the raging boner he was sporting. He knew there was no point in trying to ignore it, so he pushed the guilt aside and gripped his shaft. A groan escaped his lips and as he worked himself up and down, images of Bonnie standing naked in his bedroom were the fuel for his fire. He worked his hand around the head a few times but he wouldn't let himself come. He got close so many times but he kept pushing it off until he could play out the fantasy in his head.

If he'd had the balls, he would have jumped off the bed right after Bonnie dropped her towel. He would have taken her hands and kept her from putting those damn panties on. She would have looked at him crazily, for sure. She probably would have yelled at him out of anger and humiliation, but he would have shut her up with a kiss. In his mind, she would have kissed him back like she was just as hungry for it as he was. He would have picked her up and carried her to the bed and fucked her hard and loud so everyone in the house could hear.

The thought of her screams and pleas made Damon jack himself harder and faster until he was standing on his toes with one hand braced against the wall. He breathed heavily and when the feeling built up in his body, he finally let himself come. He threw his head back and groaned loudly, calling Bonnie's name a couple of times as he shot off into the spray of the shower. He shivered a little and slumped, letting the water wash over him. He felt a mixture of relief and guilt, but at least he'd gotten it out of the way and he could try to focus for the upcoming fight.

After a thorough cleaning, he got out of the shower and dressed. He went downstairs, where everyone else was already huddled and talking strategy in the living room. He immediately noticed that Caroline and Stefan were smirking at him, while Abby was shooting a deadly glare his way. Everybody else seemed busy with plans and didn't even acknowledge his presence.

"What the hell are you smiling about?" he asked Caroline and Stefan.

"Nothing," Stefan said, but he was practically grinning.

"It's not nothing. You two are snickering at me and Bonnie's mom is looking like she might jump over here and behead me."

"Let's just say that maybe the next time you're having a _session_ in the shower, you might not want to say anyone's name," Caroline said. And she was smiling so hard that she looked insane.

Damon's eyes jerked to Abby again, who raised an eyebrow in agreement, and for the first time in a while, he felt the burning sensation of embarrassment in his cheeks. At least Bonnie hadn't heard it. She was standing in between several other Bennetts, nodding and listening while they stood over a large map of Mystic Falls that was sprawled out along the table.

"So if we do the locator spell using Damon's or Stefan's blood, we should be able to find Lily and by extension, the rest of the Heretics, since they were all changed with her blood," Lucy said.

"I didn't think that's how it worked," Stefan piped up.

"Typically, it's not," Bonnie said. "But we've got a lot of powerful magic in this room, so we should be able to finagle something. So who's going to be our volunteer?" Her eyes landed on Damon and she smiled.

"I suppose I can," he said as he sauntered over to her. He made a show of biting into his wrist, and then he let his blood fall onto the map. Immediately, the blood travelled to a spot on the map. Bonnie held up her hands and said some words, which cause the blood to splinter off into several different areas on the map, showing where Lily and the witchpires were dispersed.

"Okay, there we have it," Lucy said. "Let's split up and do this."

"Someone should stay here," Abby said. "To monitor where they go and let us know their locations."

"The quarterback," Damon said. "He's the only useless human in the bunch."

"Damon," both Caroline and Bonnie admonished.

"It's okay," Matt said. "I'll stay. I know that calling me a useless human is actually Damon's way of saying that he doesn't want me to die, so thanks Damon. Love you, too, man."

The girls snickered and Damon rolled his eyes. He almost came up with a response, but he stopped when they all heard a familiar voice behind them.

"You guys should really do something about locking your door."

All heads turned to the sound of the voice, and jaws fell when they saw Ric standing there, armed to the teeth with vampire-killing paraphernalia.

"Ric?" Damon asked in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"It appears some vamp-witch freaks are tearing up my town. Vamp-witch freaks killed my wife. And my twins. So I'm out of retirement." He started tossing guns and stakes and other devices to people. "Load up."

Damon tried not to grin too much at having his old buddy back in action. Instead, he directed traffic and doled out weapons to everyone, including Matt. They all exchanged phone numbers and promised to do updates every half hour. They split up into teams, with Damon and Ric together, and once they all got outside and into cars, Damon called Bonnie aside.

"Hey," he said, right before she got into the car with Abby and Lucy. He eyed them warily and frowned. "You gonna be okay with them?"

"Yeah, I think so. Two Bennett witches and a Bennett vampire. We're good."

He was unconvinced. "What if something happens?"

She cocked her head to the side and smiled in amusement. "What if it does?"

"Are they gonna know how to protect you?"

"I don't know. Maybe they won't. But even if they don't, thanks to you, I know how to protect myself." She touched his arm reassuringly and turned to leave, but he took her hand and stopped her.

"Just in case," he said, and then he bit into his wrist and offered it to her.

"Damon..."

"Take it."

"No."

"Why not?"

"You know why not. I don't want to be a vampire."

"Well would you rather be dead? Because if something happens during this shit show and you get hurt, there's no coming back. I'm pretty sure you've worn out all your 'get out of Purgatory free' cards."

"I'll be okay," she promised. "I'm strong. My mom and Lucy are strong, too. I'm in good hands, promise."

There was a part of him that itched to tell her about his new feelings for her, in case he never got the chance to. But he didn't. He just pulled her into a tight hug and kissed her forehead.

"Text me every five minutes," he said.

"No," she laughed.

"Fine. Every ten. Or I'll come looking for you."

"You know, if it weren't so insane, I'd think your worrying was kind of cute."

"Hey, Bon-Bon," Lucy yelled out of the window. "Quit flirting and let's go!"

Damon growled in her direction but Bonnie nodded. She gave Damon one more hug and walked back to the car. He watched until she was safely inside, and then he returned to his own vehicle, where Alaric was drinking from a flask while seated in the backseat. Damon raised an eyebrow.

"Don't judge," Ric said.

And they were off.

Their destination was the north outskirts of the Mystic Falls forest, not too far from where Damon had been earlier in the day. Night had fallen and after Damon parked, he turned off his car and headlights and dug around his glove compartment for his binoculars. He handed a pair to Ric, who snorted.

"Seriously?"

Damon responded by peering through his own binoculars, and he silently held out his hand for Ric's flask. They took turns drinking in the silence until Damon broke the ice.

"So how are you? Really?"

"I'm breathing," was Ric's gruff response. "Pretty sure my blood alcohol content is constantly near 100%, but I haven't passed out yet so I'll take that as a win." He glanced at Damon. "What's up with you?"

"Same old, same old. Trying to kill my psycho mother and her friends. A typical day in Mystic Falls."

"Mm."

The conversation didn't flow easily like it once had between the two of them, but Damon was happy to have Ric back anyway, even in his current state. He caught him up on the happenings with their group of friends, but just like he had done with Elena, he didn't mention Bonnie. Ric said nothing about the lack of mention, but it weighed on Damon like an elephant. As much as he didn't want to tell anyone what was going on with him, he also really wanted to get it off his chest to a living, breathing person. Even a barely living, breathing person like Ric. If for no other reason than for Ric to bring him back to Earth and remind him about Elena and tell him that Bonnie was way too good for him.

"So there is something else," Damon ventured slowly, trying to work up the courage to tell his friend. Ric only quirked an eyebrow. "I may have developed a small, completely loneliness-based crush on Bonnie."

Damon expected some kind of big reaction, but all Ric did was grunt.

"That's it? That's all you have to say? I just confessed to liking my girlfriend's best friend and all I get from you is a grunt?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Was this the part where I was supposed to clutch my pearls in surprise? Here, let me try again." Ric's eyes widened and he gasped dramatically as he held his chest. " _You_ like _Bonnie_? You mean all those years of teasing her and coming up with nicknames like Judgey and Witchy and Bon-Bon and Bonfire _weren't_ just some type of foreplay? You mean that little display outside of the house where you tried to offer her your blood and where you acted like a worried boyfriend _wasn't_ your pathetic attempt at confessing your love right before going into battle? I am truly shocked, Damon."

He smirked and drank from his flask again, while Damon blinked a few times and frowned.

"You're a lot more of a dick than I remember."

"Have you told her how you feel?"

"Obviously not."

"Why?"

"A lot of reasons, duh. Like Elena, for one."

"Elena's gone. She's gone for the foreseeable future. I would think that you of all people know about the pitfalls of waiting a lifetime for someone to come back. It didn't exactly work out with Katherine, did it?" Damon's sour face was the only answer he needed. "Look, man, take it from a guy who's lived and died too many times and lost way more people than one person should. If you like Bonnie, go for it."

It sounded so simple, but Damon knew that it wasn't. There was so much to consider, even beyond the Elena element. Bonnie was his best friend, and he didn't want to lose her.

"What if she doesn't feel the same way?" he asked quietly.

Ric countered with, "and what if she does?"

Those words lingered in the air as they fell into silence again. Both of their phones rang a few minutes later, with messages that several blips on the map were showing up right in their vicinity. The others had been called to join them, and it was time to fight.

So with weapons in hand, they got out of the car and marched into the forest like warriors on a mission. Ric took a stake shooter and a few vervain bombs while Damon had guns loaded with wooden bullets. They split up at a clearing and waited until the the telltale signs of feet crunching on the ground brought them out of hiding. Damon shot first, hitting and wounding one of the witchpires. From there, everything was a blur. More of them came out of the woodwork but Damon and Ric worked together like a well-oiled machine, shooting and killing whatever got in their paths.

"Run!" Ric yelled when he tossed a vervain bomb that hit at least three heretics at once. While they were down, he staked all three of them in their hearts.

A heretic raced by Damon but he turned on his vamp speed and caught the guy. He grabbed him by the collar and fought through an aneurysm long enough to punch his way through the guy's chest and grab his heart.

"Say good night, buddy," he said.

"Damon, no!"

Damon stopped and turned to see his mother behind him, her head extended in a plea for him to stop.

"Do not kill him."

"Oh, Mother, unfortunately, I have to. And you're next."

He moved to take the heart out again, but Lily stopped him cold when she said, "he can bring back Elena!"

Damon froze and slowly looked at her again. "What?"

"Edgar knows how to undo the spell that put Elena in her coma. He can bring her back, but you must let him live."

He looked at Edgar, who nodded emphatically in agreement with Lily. A million thoughts raced through his mind, but all he could think about was how long he had wanted Elena back. He had the chance to do it, but he wouldn't if it meant hurting Bonnie.

"What about Bonnie?" he asked.

"She will live," Lily said as she took measured steps towards her son. "At least, she would survive the process of waking Elena. I still intend to use her for my purposes, though, Damon. I will be immortal. It's a fair trade, isn't it? I give you Elena and you give me Bonnie."

"Damon!" he heard Stefan shout from somewhere in the forest. "Where are you? Are you okay?"

"Your friends are coming," Lily said. "Now's the time to make your decision."

He knew he had only precious seconds to make up his mind, and he looked at Edgar and squeezed the heretic's heart.

"If I let you live, you'll bring her back?" he asked.

"Yes, I swear," Edgar said.

With that, Damon let him go and the witchpire sped off into the night. Damon turned to his mother, who was smiling brightly. Her smile dropped like a ton of bricks when he reached into her chest and grabbed her heart.

"Goodbye, Mother," was his only warning before he ripped the organ out of her chest and she fell dead onto the forest ground. He was still holding her heart when Stefan finally found him. His younger brother's face flashed with hurt, but Stefan steeled himself and nodded. "I'm sorry, brother," Damon said. "It had to be done."

"I know."

He tossed the heart like a piece of trash. "Are the rest of them dead?"

"Mostly. But we do have a problem." Damon could tell from the pensive look on Stefan's face that he wasn't going to like the news. "It's Bonnie. She's hurt. And it's bad."


	14. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Bonnie, Abby and Lucy were assigned to the area near Wickery Bridge. Matt kept getting blips of activity here and there, so the three ladies stayed on their toes. Abby had two guns filled with wooden bullets. Lucy had a stake in each hand. Bonnie was without a weapon, but she created a weak forcefield around them in case of a sudden attack. It wasn't enough to sustain an onslaught, as Bonnie didn't want to use up her magic before needed, but she at least wanted a barrier between them and the unknown.

"Looks clear," Lucy said after a sweep of the area.

"For now," Bonnie said. She checked her cell phone again but there were no more messages from Matt.

"I'm gonna head this way," Lucy said. "See if there's anyone lurking in the trees."

"Do you think that's a good idea?"

Bonnie saw a look pass from Lucy to Abby, and her cousin nodded. "I think your mother wants a little heart-to-heart time." She smiled and held up her stakes. "I'll holler if I need you."

The two Bennetts watched Lucy disappear into the woods, and Bonnie turned to Abby.

"Is that true?"

"Pretty much."

Bonnie smirked. "And what exactly is this heart-to-heart about?"

"You," Abby said. She gestured for them to sit on the bridge. "How are you? Really? I know you call me every now and then but I'd like to hear from you other than during an emergency."

"Well, no offense, but it's not like we have that kind of relationship."

"I know that. Trust me. And I know that's entirely my fault. But I'm trying to make amends. With your Grams gone and dad gone and now Elena gone, you must need someone to confide in. I'd like to be that person, if you let me."

Bonnie regarded her mother and saw sincerity in her eyes.

"I'll keep that in mind," she said.

"I do have something I want to ask you," Abby continued. Bonnie nodded. "What's up with you and Damon?"

Bonnie's eyes rounded in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that you two are very different than you were before."

"We went through something traumatic together. That changes people, brings them closer."

"It's more than that. There's an affection between you two that's...I don't know. I don't want to say romantic, but I'm not sure I can think of another word for it."

Bonnie looked over the bridge and down at the water, where the moonlight reflected and made the area seem so much more tranquil and quiet than it really was.

"We're close," she said after a few silent moments. "He's my best friend."

"You love him?"

"Yeah, of course I do."

"As a friend or as something more?"

"Why are you asking me this?"

"Because I don't want you to get hurt. You've been through so much in your young life and getting her heart broken shouldn't be something you have to endure again."

"But where is this coming from? Yeah, Damon and I are close now but that's it. He's in love with Elena, he always will be and that's that. I'm not silly enough to go after someone whose heart I could never have."

"So you've thought about it. Going after him, I mean."

"He's a really hot guy. Of course I've thought about it."

Abby cracked a smile. "He is kind of hot."

Bonnie crinkled her nose. "That's gross, you know."

They fell into comfortable silence before Abby spoke again.

"Just be careful," she advised. "I know you and I know that you're a practical, smart, rational young woman and you only have good intentions. But I also know that when your heart gets involved, sometimes logic goes out the window."

"He doesn't like me like that. So even if I did like him, it wouldn't happen."

"And what if I overheard him say something that makes me think he does like you like that?"

Bonnie's eyebrows raised and she was about to ask Abby what she meant by that, but both their heads snapped around when they heard a scream come from the woods. All talk of Damon was abandoned as they jumped up and ran towards the sound. Bonnie was the first to spot Lucy, who was lying on the ground and gripping her neck. Bonnie started to run to her, but Lucy held up a weak bloodied hand and shook her head.

"It's...a...trap," she said.

No sooner had the words come from her mouth did Bonnie throw up a protective force field around herself. A vampire bounced off of it and another one appeared from the woods. Instead of going after her, though, he sprang on Abby and snapped her neck without a second thought. Bonnie couldn't fight him and protect herself and the others at the same time, so she dropped the forcefield and immediately held our hands, telepathically grabbing each heretic by the throat and easing them into the air. She did the same thing to them that she had done to Lily by setting every vein and artery ablaze, making them cry out in agony.

"That's right, assholes," she said with a little grin. "I've had enough of you."

She was about to finish them off, when an all too familiar voice came from behind her.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Miss Bennett."

Bonnie didn't relinquish her hold on the two men, but she slowly turned her neck and saw Lily standing there with a sick smile on her face.

"Don't worry," Bonnie told her. "There's enough for you, too."

In the blink of an eye, Lily collected Abby's limp body from the ground and held it hostage, with a pointed stake digging into Abby's chest.

"Kill them and I kill her," Lily said. "Your choice. And we both know you'll choose to save your mother, even though she's not worth your loyalty."

Bonnie hesitated, but only until she saw blood trickle down her mother's shirt. She dropped her hold on the two heretics and Lily did the same with Abby.

"You're quite predictable," Lily said. "It's a weakness you should address."

"What do you want?"

"The same thing I've always wanted: for you to turn and grant me immortality."

"Do you have comprehension problems or something?" Bonnie asked, throwing her hands into the air. "I said no, and I meant it. There is nothing on this Earth that would make me help you."

Lily's face briefly twitched with anger, but then she smiled tightly.

"That's unfortunate." She began to stalk towards Bonnie. "I think that I have been very understanding throughout this whole ordeal, Bonnie. I've given you opportunities to come to my way of thinking on your own, yet you stubbornly refuse to see the advantages of life as a vampire. And I'm afraid that my patience has run out. If you won't die and become immortal, then I suppose you'll just have to die."

Before Bonnie could ask what that meant or react in any way, the two witchpires did some kind of spell that made her immobile. Her eyes widened in fright as Lily approached her. Lily carried the stake that she was going to use on Abby, and she slid her slim arm around Bonnie's neck and squeezed tightly.

"I'll give Damon your regards," Lily said, before she drove the stake harshly into Bonnie's chest. The spell was broken and Bonnie screamed in agony as she fell to the ground. Excruciating pain pulsed from her chest throughout her body and she was left to die on the cold hard ground as Lily and her friends ran off into the night.

Bonnie's hands shook as she looked down at the stake. She thought about pulling it out, but she realized that might only worsen the wound and leave her to bleed out before anyone could get to her. Every breath was painful and each inhale felt like nails through her ribs and lungs. She managed to crane her neck up and saw that Abby and Lucy were both unconscious. She reached her shaky fingers into her pocket and pulled out her phone. She managed to send out one text message to Caroline that read "HELP" before the pain became too much and she passed out.

When Bonnie awoke again, it was only for a few brief moments here and there. At one point, her eyes opened and she saw the blur of people around her, standing over her, prodding her with instruments and needles and the like. Even if her confused state, she recognized the white fluorescent lights of a hospital. She could tell she was being moved around quickly, probably on a stretcher, and an older woman looked down at her with a concerned expression.

"Honey, you've had some serious trauma to your chest."

Bonnie nodded slowly but couldn't form any words.

"You're gonna be okay," the woman said. "You're going into emergency surgery right now, okay? We're gonna take care of you."

Bonnie heard the words but all she could think was that she was about to die. Again. And the only person she could think to ask about was Damon. She wanted to give the woman a message for her, something to tell him in case she didn't make it, but whatever medicine they had given her slowed her brain to a halt and she succumbed to sleep.

...

Damon burst through the hospital doors like a bat out of hell and marched up and down the hallways, nearly breaking the floors with his hard steps. His fists were balled up at his side, ready to punch whoever got in his way. He kicked closed doors open, completely unaffected by the startled gasps and angry looks that patients and their families sent his way. He didn't care if he had to tear down the whole hospital to get to Bonnie, that's what he was going to do. He swung open a patient door and found Abby and Lucy Bennett inside. Lucy looked a little worse for wear, with a large bandage on the side of her neck, but Abby looked fine.

And that enraged him.

He sped into the room, grabbed Abby by the neck and slammed into the nearest wall.

"What the fuck happened?!" he roared.

"Back off!" Abby said as she grabbed Damon's hands and threw him off of her. He huffed at her and when he looked like he was going to charge again, she held up her hands. "Do you think I wanted something to happen to Bonnie?"

"You better start talking or I'm gonna rip your head off."

"We were ambushed. They attacked Lucy first, then snapped my neck, and Bonnie was left alone. I don't know what happened."

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?" Damon scoffed. "I thought you two were Bennetts! I wouldn't have called you if I'd known you were just gonna get Bonnie killed!"

Abby yelled at him and he yelled back and Lucy tried to break it up, but their noise became so loud that the door swung open and Caroline and Stefan walked in.

"What the hell is going on in here?" Stefan asked.

"Ask Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum," Damon said.

"Look, all this yelling isn't helping anything," Caroline said. She closed the door and walked towards Damon, who was pacing like a caged animal. "Calm down."

"Calm down? How can you tell me to calm down when all I know that Bonnie got attacked and now she's in surgery. I don't even know how she got hurt."

"Before she came to you, Lily stabbed Bonnie in the chest," Caroline said, maintaining her steady tone. "Her ribs are fractured and she has a punctured lung."

"Then why the fuck didn't someone give her some vampire blood and fix it?!" he screamed. "Why are we standing here with our thumbs up our asses when we could be helping her?"

"I tried. When I got there, I tried to give her some blood but she wasn't responsive and she couldn't drink it. She looked..." She faltered and her eyes blinked away tears. "She looked like she wasn't going to make it."

"Then we'll fix it now," he said through gritted teeth.

"Damon," Stefan said with a sigh. "The town is already on high alert after that Christmas party. Literally everyone there saw vampires and other weird shit that they and we cannot explain. If you go in there and miraculously fix Bonnie, people are going to start asking us questions that we don't want to answer. Let the doctors do their work and we'll go from there."

Damon roughly ran hands through his hair and blew out a breath. Stefan was right. And he truly hated it when Stefan was right. Knowing that he would have to leave Bonnie's fate in the hands of potentially incompetent doctors angered him more than he expected. The room suddenly became stifling, so he pushed past Stefan and walked out of the room, slamming the door harshly behind him. He marched through the waiting room, completely ignoring the tense and waiting families, because he knew if he saw them and their expressions, he might actually sympathize with them.

And he didn't want to open that can of worms.

So he got in his car and drove to the nearest liquor store and bought a couple of bottles of bourbon. He sat in his car outside of the store and drank. People came and went but he didn't pay them any attention. He turned off his mind and drank, even after the store closed and the owner gave him a questioning look. Damon didn't know how much time had passed when his phone lit up and Stefan's name came on the screen. His gut reaction was to ignore it, but he knew it was about Bonnie.

"What?" he answered.

"Bonnie's out of surgery. I thought you would want to know."

"Out of surgery, huh?" he asked dryly. "And where's she headed? The morgue?"

"A recovery room, actually." They didn't say anything for a while. "She's pretty out of it right now but I'm sure she'll want to see you when she wakes up."

Damon hung up without saying anything else, and he stayed in his car and finished off his bottle. He took his time driving back to the hospital, and when he arrived, Stefan was in the waiting room, apparently waiting for him. Stefan led him to Bonnie's room, where Abby was sitting at the bedside. When she saw Damon, she silently stood and left, as did Stefan.

It was only after he was left alone with Bonnie that Damon really took a good look at her. She was asleep in the hospital bed, in a dim comfortable room, surrounded by machines that beeped softly. Tubes came from her mouth and chest, and IVs were running in both arms. Every breath from her sounded like a strained wheeze. She looked helpless and pitiful.

He sat in the chair next to her bed and just stared for a while. Every fiber in his body itched to just cut into his wrist and put it to her mouth. It would have been so easy. But Stefan was right. The inevitable questions in a town on high alert was the last thing they needed. So Bonnie would have to hang in there, at least until she was released from the hospital. Damon touched her hand, where an IV was taped down, delivering medicine into her small body.

"It's not supposed to be like this," he said quietly to her sleeping form. "I bet you think I'd be happy about this. You probably think I'd just let you die in here so I could get Elena back." He sighed and took his hand away from hers.

"But you're not supposed to die like this. You're supposed to get old. Very old. And I'm supposed to tease you about all the wrinkles you're getting while I'm still young and hot. And you're supposed to get married to some loser and settle down as a professor or something. And you'll have some kids. Probably two. Maybe three. They'll call me Uncle Damon and I'll spoil them to death and you'll act like you hate it but we both know you don't."

He smiled a little, hopeful that his talking would bring her out of her medicine-induced slumber. She didn't respond. She didn't move at all, other than the assisted rise and fall of her chest. The thought lingered in his mind that she might actually not make it out of that hospital bed. He thought about the rest of his eternal life without the judgey little witch at his side, and suddenly, it was more than he could take. He didn't like the way the whole situation made him feel.

In fact, he didn't like any of the feelings that Bonnie evoked in him lately.

But he stayed. He stayed at her bedside and never left. The others offered to take shifts with him but he would just roll his eyes and put his feet up on the tiny table to show that he had no intentions of going anywhere. Stefan and Caroline took turns bringing him blood bags every now and then. He got to know the nurses and doctors treating Bonnie by name and they started reporting all their notes and progress directly to him. He was there when the tubes were removed from her mouth and chest. He was there when she woke up, but she was so groggy that he was pretty sure that she had no idea who he was.

He'd lost count of how many days had gone by, and he got rather comfortable in his little chair, watching TV shows on his iPad. He didn't look up when the door opened, but he did raise his eyes when a steaming cup of coffee was placed into his face and he saw Caroline standing in front of him.

"Thanks," he said.

"I just talked to one of the nurses. They're about to run some tests on Bonnie and try to get her up for a shower."

"And you're telling me this why?"

"Because you should leave."

Damon frowned. "I'm not going anywhere."

Caroline sighed. "You've been sitting in that chair for almost two weeks. You look like a mountain man and, no offense, you stink. Go home, take a shower, and shave your damn face. They're going to turn down her medicine for a little while and she'll actually be up and aware of what's going on and I'm thinking that maybe you don't want to smell like a garbage collector."

He narrowed his eyes at her and she just blinked in return. She knew she was right, and worse than that, she knew that he knew it. He looked at Bonnie, who was sleeping and whimpering with every breath, and he groaned.

"Fine," he said as he stood up. He pointed a finger at the blonde. "But if anything happens to her on your watch, I will kill you."

"Trust me, I know. You've been a very doting boyfriend."

Damon narrowed his eyes again, which only made Caroline smile.

"What? You're her friend and you're a boy, right?"

"Just watch her, Blondie."

She did a sarcastic salute and he rolled his eyes at her before finally leaving the room. He walked out of the hospital and winced a little at his first view of sunlight in many days. He fished his keys out of his pocket and rolled down the windows, letting the cold air whip by him as he drove to the boarding house. He wasted no time getting into the shower, and he made the water as hot as it would go. He stood underneath the spray and let the water wash over his body, which was more worn down than he thought. He lathered himself up in Old Spice and rinsed off. He wrapped a towel around his waist and looked at himself in the mirror. He stroked the beard that had grown on his face and smirked. Caroline may have hated it, but he kind of liked it.

He took his time brushing his teeth and trimming, but not shaving, his beard. He pulled out some fresh jeans and a shirt and one of his many leather jackets before he headed back to the hospital. When he walked into Bonnie's room, he saw that she was awake and sitting up in her bed. She was smiling at Caroline, but when he walked in, she turned her attention to him and her smiled brightened.

"Hey," she said slowly and with a hoarse voice.

"Hey, yourself. How do you feel?"

"Like someone chainsawed my chest open."

"Pretty accurate description."

"After they did all the tests and everything, they gave her a few hits of pain medicine and now I think she's feeling kind of good," Caroline offered. The giggle from Bonnie confirmed it.

Damon smirked. "So you're stoned."

"Maybe a little."

"Mm hm."

He pulled his chair close to the side of her bed and observed her. She looked frail, of course, after a steady diet of IV fluids and no real food. But her eyes were bright and she was smiling. He looked at Caroline and nodded once.

"You're excused," he said.

"And you're an asshole." She turned to Bonnie and patted her hand. "Call me if you need me."

"I will."

Caroline stuck her tongue out at Damon, and he did the same, and then she grabbed her purse and left the room.

"So how did your tests go?" Damon asked.

"I'm healing well," Bonnie said. She grimaced a little as she turned her body to face him. "They're going to release me in a couple of days."

"And as soon as you're out, I'll let you tap a vein and you'll be good as new."

She made a noncommittal sound and stared at him. After a few seconds, he quirked an eyebrow.

"What?" he asked.

"What?"

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I like your beard," she said. She reached out and stroked his chin hair. "It's sexy."

Her comments caught him off guard, but he smiled and touched the hair on his cheek.

"Yeah? Caroline said I look like a mountain man."

"A really hot mountain man."

His grin widened to a ridiculous level and he had to clear his throat to maintain some level of cool.

"Well, now I know you're tweaked on pain meds," he said. "You've called me many things, but 'hot' and 'sexy' aren't on the list."

She didn't respond verbally, but she did keep rubbing his beard and he knew it was pathetic how much that was turning him on.

"You haven't missed much," he said, just to break the silence. "Lily's dead."

"Mm."

"If I had known what she did to you before I killed her, I would have made her death a lot more painful."

"Mm."

"Nothing's really happened since then. All the rest of them are dead and the town is on the lookout for vampires, so I expect things will be quiet for a while."

Bonnie didn't answer, but she did keep rubbing his beard. He saw her eyes getting heavy, as if her touching him was lulling her to sleep. She stopped suddenly and scooted over a little, making a tiny sliver of space in her bed.

"Come up here with me," she said softly.

"That's not very much space."

"So?"

He eyed the IVs coming from her arms. "I don't want to mess up your wires and stuff."

"You won't."

He thought about arguing with her, but he could tell that she was a few minutes away from falling asleep and he would only have to squeeze into the little bed until then. So he took off his shoes and slid into the spot, with his front facing hers. He wrapped his arm around her and she scooted in close. She buried her face in his neck and he smiled when he felt and heard her inhale.

"You smell good," she mumbled. "You always smell so good."

"Lucky for you I took a shower. Caroline told me that I stank."

Bonnie pulled away enough that they could look at each other, and she had that look in her eyes again.

"What?" he asked.

"Have you been here the whole time?"

"Before Blondie kicked me out, yeah."

She slowly shook her head.

"You're too good to me," she said.

"Well, it's not like I could leave you in your mother's hands. We see how that turned out."

She smiled a little and reached up to touch his beard again.

"Keep this," she said. "I like it."

"You got it, Judgey."

She returned her face to the perch of his neck and nuzzled closer so that their bodies were pushed together in every possible spot. He rested his cheek on top of her head and slowly rubbed her back with his thumb. He thought she had fallen asleep, until she spoke in a voice that was hardly louder than a whisper.

"We'd be good together."

Damon's thumb froze on her back as he waited for her to say more, but she never did. She was asleep soon after, but her words swirled around Damon's head. He kept telling himself that she'd meant it in a friendly way. And that she was not in her right mind. But he couldn't quite make himself believe that.

He didn't say anything about it because he didn't know what to say or that Bonnie even remembered it.

He kept it to himself even several days later, when Bonnie was finally released from the hospital. She agreed to go back to Sheila's house with her mother and cousin, much to his dismay.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" he asked, while the two of them stood on the porch outside of the house. "They don't exactly have a good track record of taking care of you."

"I'll be fine. And if not, I'll call you."

He frowned. "Why don't you just come to the boarding house? There's space for them there."

"I know, but Abby says she wants to spend some quality time when there isn't an emergency. Lily's gone. Things are quiet right now. It's a good time."

He grunted.

"Then I guess I'll leave you to it."

"I seem to recall you offering me a vein."

"That's all you chicks want me for," he teased.

He slid his leather sleeve down and bit into his wrist. He offered it to Bonnie, who didn't hesitate to take it. She sealed her mouth over the punctures and greedily pulled blood from his body. It wasn't the first time that he had given her blood, but it was the first time that he noticed how utterly sexy she looked while she drank from him. Her plump lips wrapped around his skin. Her eyes were closed and she moaned, mostly in pain, as his blood healed her fractured ribs and injured lung. He could hear the skin of her chest stitching itself back together, and the rich brown tone of her skin returned to her cheeks.

When she finally had enough, she pulled away and sighed contentedly. She opened her eyes, grinned at him, and said, "oh my God. I can breathe again."

Damon cracked a half-smile. "Glad to be of service."

She smiled, and he smiled, and for the first time in months, Damon didn't know what to say to her. He felt a little uncomfortable, so he touched his beard and said, "I guess I'll let you get to your mother-daughter bonding. If you get sick of her, you know where to find me."

"Yes, I do."

Bonnie opened her arms for a hug, and Damon embraced her closely. He wrapped his arms around her waist and she did the same to him. They swayed a little bit for a few minutes, and then she stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek.

"Thank you," she said in his ear. "You're too good to me."

He was so surprised by her comment that he didn't even think fast enough to respond, or to stop her from going into the house and closing the door behind her. He stood alone on the porch, replaying the moment in his mind over and over until he finally accepted what he had already begun to suspect.

Bonnie was into him. And he was into her. And he had no idea what to do about it.


	15. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

 _February 1, 2014_

 _Dear Elena,_

 _Happy New Year! I know, I'm a month late, but welcome to 2014. I keep saying that I'll write to you more, but this time I have a really good excuse. To make a long story short, Lily tried to kill me and almost did. I was in the hospital for a few weeks but now I'm out and feeling better than I have in a while, actually._

 _There was an incident at the Christmas party and everyone in town knows about vampires now, so that's been interesting. We're all having to keep a pretty low profile._

 _I spent some time with my Mom, too. She hung around and took care of me when I got out of the hospital. It was kind of weird, but also nice. We actually did mom-daughter stuff like shopping and cooking. She's a pretty good cook, too. She showed me some of Grams's old recipes and I've been practicing on them. (Damon has been my guinea pig)._

 _Speaking of Damon, I'm sure you want to know how he is. He's good. Maybe even really good. It's not like he's forgotten you or anything, but he seems okay. He and Stefan spend a lot of time together, especially when Caroline and I are in class. Matt is good, too. I've been making an effort to keep him included in our festivities. We're all having a "Fuck Valentine's Day" party on the 14th. Well, not really a party. We're going to dinner together and the five of us will be each other's Valentines. Damon thinks it's stupid, of course, but I think it's fun and cute. And Caroline told him he didn't have a choice, so you already know who won that battle._

 _Anyway, I've got homework. I promise (again) that I'll do better about writing._

 _Love,_  
 _Bon_

 **...**

Bonnie watched the clock as her class came to an end, anxious to get out of there and get ready for her Valentine's Date with everyone. As soon as the teacher dismissed them, she put on her coat and hustled out into the biting cold towards her car. She cranked up the heat and mentally catalogued everything her closet as she drove to the apartment. They were going to some fancy new restaurant in town and although she had a few nice things, nothing came to mind that would be appropriate. She thought about stopping at a little boutique that she and Caroline had recently fallen in love with, but she wasn't sure she had time to stop and shop, and then get dressed and do her hair.

So she went home instead, intent on finding something that would work. She was already running some outfits through her mind, when she swung open her bedroom door and saw a brand new dress lying on her bed. It was a long-sleeved gun metal gray dress with a few sequins sprinkled across for some shimmer. Bonnie picked up the dress and held it against her body and her eyebrows raised a little when she saw how short it was. She knew she would be tugging at it all night just to keep from flashing everyone. She turned it around and laughed a little to herself when she saw that the entire back was out. She laid it down again and whipped out her phone and called Caroline.

"Yes?" Caroline answered.

"Do you know anything about this dress in my room?"

"Maybe."

"Care, thank you, but you didn't have to buy me anything."

"You _know_ I went through your closet and found nothing acceptable, so I took it upon myself to get you something."

"It's short."

"Don't bend over."

"There's no back."

"That's why you have sleeves."

Bonnie chuckled. "Well, thank you. Where are you?"

"Trying to get there. I'm running a little late, though, so just get ready without me. Damon's coming to pick you up anyway, and I'll meet you guys there with Stefan and Matt. Now hurry up and get all sexy. Chop, chop."

Caroline hung up before Bonnie could respond, which only made the witch shake her head. She tossed the phone on the bed and started the business of getting ready. After her shower, she wrapped a towel around her body and hummed as she brushed her teeth and washed her face. Her hair was relatively easy, as she applied bumps and curls and finger-combed until it was just right. She then pulled out a stool from under the sink and spread her makeup supplies along the counter. She was just about to apply it, when there was a knock on her bathroom door.

"Yeah," she called.

The door opened and it was Damon. Bonnie was about to say "hi" but her words got caught in her throat when she got a good look at him. He was dressed in a black suit, slim fit to his body. He wasn't wearing a tie, and his black button down shirt underneath was open a little. Bonnie knew that he could wear a suit, but there was something even more handsome about him right then. Maybe it was the beard that was neatly trimmed and created a dark and bold outline of his pale face. Or maybe it was the haircut he had gotten. Short hair on him was always her favorite.

"Hey," he said as he leaned against the door frame. "Nice outfit."

She looked down at her towel and held it a little tighter. "Ha, ha. You're early."

"I'm on time. You're late."

"I'll be ready soon."

"Mm."

Damon gave her the once-over and then pushed away from the frame and sauntered out. Bonnie shut the door behind him and then went back to putting her makeup on. She tried not to notice how her heart was beating a little faster and her palms were sweating slightly. Her body had been reacting to Damon like that for the past couple of weeks, ever since she got out of the hospital. She ignored it, at least when he was around, and tried to put it out of her head completely as she finished getting ready.

Once she was satisfied with her makeup, she went to her room and looked at the dress resting neatly on her bed. She peeked into the living room and saw Damon on the couch, so she closed the door to her bedroom and dropped her towel. She fished through her underwear drawer for a thong and slid it up her legs. Considering that the back of the dress was totally out, she knew a bra was out of the question. She lotioned her body down and then held up the dress and stepped into it. There was just enough room to slide into the material, and once her arms were in, she did a few adjustments and checked herself out in the mirror.

The dress fit her like a glove and stopped at her upper thigh. She turned and saw that the back was cut so low that she could actually see the top of her thong, so she briefly debated with herself before she reached underneath and took it off. In all her years on Earth, she had never gone completely without underwear and the thought was as thrilling as it was naughty. She put her hands on her hips and decided that she looked hot. A surge of confidence went through her, and she carried that with her as she put on her shoes, grabbed a clutch and adorned herself with earrings.

"Okay, I'm ready," she said, once she went into the living room.

Damon looked up from the TV, his mouth open to say something smart, but he stopped when he saw her. His blue eyes took in her face first, and then he not so subtly checked out the rest of her. He blinked a few times and feeling a little emboldened, Bonnie turned around to give him the full view.

"What do you think?" she asked.

"I think there are some pieces of your dress missing."

"Funny," she said dryly. "It looks good, right?"

She wished that she could control the completely erratic rhythm of her heart as she waited for his response.

"Are you wearing panties?" he asked.

Bonnie's eyes widened and she scoffed indignantly. "Excuse me? What kind of question is that?"

"Well, that dress covers only enough of your ass to not be obscene, and I'm not seeing how you could have anything on under there."

"Wow, so it's obscene? You're saying I look cheap or something?"

"No," he said, holding up his hands in defense.

"Then what are you saying?"

"You look..." He waved his hands around in front of him and nodded a few times, but never said anything else.

Bonnie rolled her eyes and grabbed her coat off the back of a chair. "Whatever. Let's go."

She yanked her arms through the sleeves of her coat and impatiently looked at Damon, who hadn't moved. He finally got up and put on his own coat and followed her out. She walked ahead of him, mostly because she was annoyed and kind of hurt that he didn't at least tell her she looked good, which she knew she did. He could be such an asshole sometimes that she wondered why or how she could have even developed a crush on him.

She got to his car before he did, but he opened the door for her. She didn't thank him as she slid into her passenger seat and put her seatbelt on. When he got in, he started up the car and let the heat run for a minute before he pulled off. They didn't speak but Bonnie could tell from the way he was flexing his fingers on the steering wheel that he wanted to say something to smooth it over. They were actually at the restaurant before any words were exchanged between them again.

"We're early," Bonnie said. "Do you want to wait in the car for everyone else, or should we go inside and let them know we're here?"

"We can go inside," he said. Bonnie reached for the door handle to let herself out, but Damon leaned over and grabbed her hand. "Hey."

She met his eyes. "What?"

"You don't look obscene. Or cheap," he said. "You look very..." He stalled and waved his hand again like she was going to know what he meant. When she didn't help him out at all, he sighed and said, "pretty. You look very pretty and outrageously hot, okay?"

Bonnie didn't want to smile, but she couldn't help the incessant tugging of her lips into a big silly grin.

"Thank you," she said. "Was that so hard?"

"It was, actually."

"You realize that your tongue won't burn off if you give me a compliment, right?"

"It might."

"Well, for the record, you look quite handsome."

"Tell me something I don't know."

"Oh my God," she muttered, as they got out of the car.

Damon went around to her side and put his hand on the small of her back as they walked inside. He gave his name at the reservation desk and they barely waited a minute before their waiter appeared and led them to a two-person table, somewhat secluded from the rest of the tables. There was a bottle of wine and and a lit candle already set up for them.

"May I take your coat, madam?" the waiter asked as he helped Bonnie slip it off her shoulders.

"Uh, sure, but this table is too small for our party," she said. "There will be five of us."

The waiter folded her coat over his arm and shook his head. "The reservation for Salvatore was just for two, madam."

He flitted off somewhere into the restaurant, leaving a confused Damon and Bonnie behind. They both eased into their chairs as the realization of the situation hit them at the same moment.

"I'm going to kill Caroline," she said.

"Only if I don't kill her first," Damon said.

Bonnie called her so-called best friend, who answered on the second ring.

"Helloooo," she sang.

"Where the hell are you, Stefan, and Matt?" Bonnie asked lowly as she looked at Damon for backup.

"Oh, sorry, I got caught up. And Matt had to do a double shift. And Stefan is...sick."

"Sick? Really? He's a vampire and that's the best you could come up with?"

"Yeah, I should have thought that through a little more."

"Did you seriously set this up so it would just be me and Damon?"

"Guilty," Caroline said, a little too gleefully. "And I bet you look so hot right now. You're welcome, Damon," she said, knowing that he could hear.

"What happened to our 'Fuck Valentine's' dinner?"

"Well, Damon can be your Valentine and since I won't be home tonight, you can have the whole apartment to accomplish the 'fuck' part. I want all the details tomorrow! Bye!"

She hung up and Bonnie was left to stare at Damon, who was blinking a lot again and clenching his jaw. She wasn't sure whether he was mad, or embarrassed, or maybe...turned on?

"Yeah, I'm definitely gonna kill her first," he said.

"You know why she did this," Bonnie told him. "She has some stupid bet with Stefan that if you and I hook up or whatever, he'll buy her some shoes."

"She won't need shoes if she's dead."

Bonnie groaned and contemplated how to handle the situation. One on hand, she was truly irritated with Caroline (and possibly Stefan and Matt, once she figured out their roles in it) about the ambush blind date with Damon. And on the other hand, she wasn't nearly as irritated as she should have been because there was something kind of exciting and nerve-racking about it. Although she and Caroline hadn't discussed it explicitly, she was sure that Caroline knew that her feelings for Damon had changed towards the romantic and that she would never make the first move.

"Could I get you something to drink?" the waiter asked as he appeared at their table again. "Shall I open the wine for you, or perhaps some champagne or a cocktail?"

Bonnie looked at Damon, who appeared undecided about the whole thing, and she sighed and shook her head at the waiter.

"I'm sorry, there's been some kind of mix-up. I don't think we're staying."

The waiter's face fell in disappointment but before he could respond, Damon spoke up.

"We're staying," he said. "Just give us a minute."

The waiter bowed and left them alone, and Bonnie raised an eyebrow at Damon.

"We're staying?" she asked.

"Yeah, why not? We're here, we both look hot..might as well have dinner and a few drinks."

It was Bonnie's turn to blink.

"But it's just you and me," she said.

"Yeah."

"Alone. Together. In a restaurant."

"Yeah."

"Doesn't that kind of...feel like...a date?" she asked.

Damon shrugged. "Yeah. I can think of worse things to do on Valentine's Day than go on a date with you. Unless you're the type of girl who talks about her cats all through dinner."

Her lips quirked into an unwilling smile. "You know I don't have cats."

"You might have some squirreled away somewhere."

"Ha. And that's another reason this can't be a date. A date is the chance to get to know someone and you already know everything about me."

"Not true."

"Yes, it is. You do realize that over the past two years, we've spent an inordinate amount of time together, right?"

"So? You have secrets hidden away in that naughty little witch brain of yours."

"I promise, I don't."

"Hmmm."

Damon arched his eyebrow in that troublesome way that let her know he wasn't going to let the matter drop. The waiter returned and uncorked the wine and poured them each a glass. He took their orders for appetizers and once he was gone again, Bonnie held up her glass in Damon's direction.

"To us, on our fuck Valentine's Day," she said.

He clinked her glass. "I'll admit that I know the basic friend things about you," he said, totally disregarding the toast. "Favorite color. Favorite TV shows. Happy memories, sad memories, blah blah blah. But what I don't know are the really interesting things."

"Interesting things like...?"

"Your favorite sexual position."

Bonnie had just managed to swallow her wine before his statement, and she narrowed her eyes at him.

"Seriously?"

"What? We're on a date. People on dates talk about sex."

"Not respectable people on their first date."

"So let's get disrespectful," he said with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

"You're a pig," she said. But she kind of smiled.

"So are you gonna tell me how you like to have your bread buttered or do I have to guess?" he asked.

"Oh please, you're going to guess no matter what I say."

"True," he grinned. He sat back in his chair and sipped his wine, eyeing her like it was the first time he'd taken a really good hard look at her. His intense gaze made her squirm a little in her chair but she worked up the strength to stare right back at him. "Part of me says you like to be on top because you're such a control freak," he finally said.

"I am not a control freak."

"You're a grade A control freak, Bon-Bon. And chicks like you either like to be control freaks in bed, or..." He arched his eyebrow but didn't say anything immediately, which she knew he was doing to make her anxious. And damn it if it didn't work.

"Or what?" she blurted out.

"Or," Damon said, leaning across the table and lowering his voice a little. "You like to drop all your bossiness at the bedroom door and let your partner have his wicked way with you." She hoped that he couldn't see the way that her cheeks flushed, but she knew he could when his devious grin only widened. "Seems like you're in the second group."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

She managed to veer the conversation away from sex and onto other, less dangerous, topics. Pretty soon, she forgot that they were even on a "date" and it was just the two of them, talking and laughing and bickering like they always did. Dinner was delicious and they hung around for coffee. Bonnie didn't even realize how late it was until the waiter was gently telling them that they were closing for the night.

"Wow, I can't believe we stayed that long," she said as she pulled on her coat and they walked out of the restaurant together.

"Well you know what they say," Damon said. "Time flies when you're spending it with a sexy man."

Bonnie snorted. "Yeah, that's how the saying goes."

He held her door open for her and once they were settled into his car, he put the gear in reverse but didn't move. He turned to her and asked, "you want to go dancing?"

"Uh...sure. But I'm not sure that this dress is really dancing appropriate."

"It'll be fine if you aren't dropping it like it's hot."

She laughed. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. You realize that not all dancing is of the bumping and grinding variety, right?"

"No, grandpa, I didn't realize that. Are we going to do the Waltz or something?"

"Or something," he said with a smile.

He drove them to a little hole in the wall place a few miles away, and when they went inside, Bonnie was surprised that the atmosphere was really nice. The place was dimly lit with comfy sofas and barstools settled around a small dance floor. There was a little bar off to the side, but the main attraction was a young woman, maybe college-aged, playing a baby grand piano. Next to him was a guy playing the saxophone and the music they played together immediately struck a chord with Bonnie.

"Oh my God," she said, unable to stop the sad smile on her face. "This reminds me of my dad."

Damon frowned a little. "Oh...well we can go. I didn't mean to make you upset."

She grabbed his hand to keep him from turning around. "I'm not upset," she said. "I like it. It reminds me in a good way."

He led her to an empty loveseat close to the musicians and after Bonnie shrugged off her coat, Damon disappeared briefly to get them some drinks from the bar. They sat together in silence, sipping their drinks and enjoying the music. When Bonnie finished hers, she nudged Damon with her shoulder and said, "you promised me dancing." He gulped the rest of his bourbon and then stood up and held out his hand. She took it and they found themselves in the middle of the dance floor.

Since nobody else was dancing, they had the whole floor to themselves. Damon put his hands on her hips and pulled her close to him. Bonnie wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his chest, and they danced. Neither of them kept track of how long they swayed, and Damon only stopped moving after Bonnie had stifled a few yawns against his chest.

"Okay, Judgey, it's time for you to pack it in."

"No, we don't have to go. I'm having a good time." And then she yawned.

Damon smirked. "Well if you're nice, maybe we'll do it again sometime."

He held out his hand for her, which she took, and they walked out of the lounge with their fingers intertwined. Bonnie tried not to read too much into it. After all, they were friends who'd had fun hanging out together and she was in high heels and he was just being nice. He could be sweet sometimes, when he felt like it. But even with those thoughts, she really couldn't stop the fluttering in her chest or stomach and the gut-twisting knowledge that she was kind of crazy about him.

Her eyes were on his hand the entire way home, and she was almost relieved that he had to keep his hand on the gear so she wouldn't have to endure the sweet torture of his thumb rubbing her skin throughout the ride. They both kept their hands to themselves on the slow walk to Bonnie's apartment. When they got to her door, she stood in front of it while Damon stood about a foot away, facing her.

"Well, that was fun," she said.

"You say it like you're surprised," he smirked.

"No, I'm not surprised. This just isn't how I was expecting for the night to turn out."

"And would you say that this is better or worse than your expectations?"

Bonnie smiled. "Better."

"I am to please."

They smiled at one another and what should have been awkward, post-date silence was more like excited, anticipatory post-date silence.

"Do you want to come in?" she asked at the same time as he said, "I'll let you go to sleep." She smiled and he smirked.

"I do want to come in, but you look like you're about to fall asleep on your feet," Damon said.

"I could make it through a movie," she contested.

"You'll be drooling on me before the credits even start." He stepped a little closer and tucked some of her hair behind her ear. "And besides, if I come inside, I won't want to watch a movie anyway."

His tone lost all playfulness and his gaze was suddenly that intense Damon stare that seemed to hypnotize every woman that fell prey to it. Bonnie's throat went a little dry and her heart rate increased, especially when the scent of his Old Spice wafted from his chest to her nose.

"What _will_ you want to do?" she asked, so quietly that only a vampire could hear it.

He gently took her cheek in his palm and leaned down so close that his lips were almost on hers.

"Bend you over every surface in that apartment and make sure Caroline _thoroughly_ earns those shoes," he whispered.

Wetness immediately spread between Bonnie's legs and she was left completely speechless, even as he removed his hand and kissed her forehead.

"Night night, Bon-Bon."

He walked away from her, seemingly unaffected by his effortless seduction, while Bonnie watched him until he disappeared out of the apartment breezeway. She blinked a few times, just to be sure that she was awake and that the exchange had really happened. When she had control of her faculties again, she pulled out her phone and texted Caroline.

 _I'm either going to kill you...or kiss you._


	16. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

She was avoiding him. If he asked her about it, she would deny it, but Damon knew that ever since their surprise blind date, Bonnie had been avoiding him. She always found a way to cut their phone calls short and half of his text messages went unanswered. He wanted to be mad, but he knew his little witch well enough to know that she was only avoiding him because she was trying to figure out how to proceed. She was naturally cautious and wary, traits that he both admired and found annoying, so the major shift in their relationship was something that she had to work out for herself.

Still, checking his phone every five minutes for some sign of her was starting to get on his nerves. When she once again dodged his attempts to contact her, Damon decided to take things into his own hands. He headed to the Whitmore student activity center and compelled the person at the front desk to let him in since he didn't have a student ID. He made his way past several open classes of yoga, racquetball, and cycling and went up the stairs to the dance classes. All of the classes had wall-to-wall windows and glass doors, so passersby could look in. He found Bonnie's class, all the way at the end of the hall, and he took a sit on a bench outside of it.

It didn't take long to spot Bonnie. She was right up front, perfectly following the moves of the teacher. She didn't see him, and he was happy that she didn't, because she probably would have gotten embarrassed and stopped. She looked so determined, with sweat on her forehead and bare arms and soaking through the front of her sports bra. His eyes trailed down her damp stomach and landed on her butt, which was perfectly encased in a pair of skin-tight yoga pants. Her hips swiveled to the right and left, always on beat, and he idly wondered if she would be so confident if she was throwing it on him like that.

Damon didn't even realize he was smiling until his lips fell into a displeased frown, as one of the male students in the class walked up behind Bonnie and took possession of her waist. The guy practically dug his crotch into her backside, moving in time with her, as all the other boys in the class did with their partners. What irked him even more was the sly smile on Bonnie's face. Jealousy flared in his veins, and he watched with his lips set tightly until the class finally, mercifully, ended. The teacher clapped her hands and congratulated them on a good class. Everyone struck up conversation, but Damon was only interested in one.

"You are by far the best dancer in class," the guy who had been all up on Bonnie's ass said, as she was bending over to pick up her gym bag. Much to Damon's pleasure, she pulled a hoodie over her exposed top half.

"Thanks," she said with a smile. "It's nice to have a good partner."

The boy smiled, and Damon frowned even further. "Can I walk you out?" he asked.

"Sure."

Damon watched as they walked out, and Bonnie didn't see him. He fought every urge to follow them out, and instead, he stayed on his bench and listened as they walked.

"So I was wondering if maybe we could exchange numbers," the boy said. "You know, so we can talk or whatever before the performance at the end of the semester," he stammered.

"Sure," she said again, this time with a laugh. Damon listened as they exchanged numbers and he learned that the nerd's name was Jared.

"Cool, cool," Jared said. "And I was also wondering, if maybe some time, you would want to hang out with me? Like go to a movie or something?"

Damon's ears honed in to their full vampiric abilities, as he waited almost as tensely as Jared for Bonnie's answer.

"Uh well..." she hesitated.

"I mean, no pressure or anything," Jared added hurriedly. "It's just...you know, you're really pretty and such a great dancer, and I've kind of had a crush on you since the start of the semester."

Damon wanted to gag, but he could practically hear Bonnie's grin.

"Thank you, Jared," she said sweetly. "That's very flattering."

"But...you're not into me," Jared concluded.

"It's not even that. You're really cute and sweet and I think under other circumstances, I would love to go out with you. It's just..." She hesitated. "My life is a little complicated right now, and I'm not looking to date."

It wasn't the answer Damon was looking for, but at least she turned the guy down. He waited while they said their awkward goodbyes, and then he hopped off his bench and quietly followed Bonnie out of the gym. He waited until she was just about to put her hand on her car door handle, when he leaned in close to her and said, "nice of you not to break that kid's heart." Bonnie leapt in the car and spun around, her heart on her chest. When she saw him, she rolled her eyes.

"You scared the shit out of me," she said.

"Keeping you on your toes, Bennett."

"What are you doing here? And why are you following me and listening to my conversations like a creepy pervert?"

"Listening because I'm both creepy and a pervert. Following because you have been avoiding me."

"No I haven't."

Damon gave her a look, which she tried to avoid by searching through her bag for something he was sure she didn't need.

"Try again on someone who doesn't know you as well as I do," he said. "You haven't been calling me or texting me or coming by. The writing's on the wall. You're completely freaked out by the fact that I want to blow your back out."

Bonnie's head jerked up and she glared at him. "Nice, Damon."

"Oh come on," he sighed. "Admit it. You're running like a scared rabbit."

"I'm not scared. I just need some time."

"You've had time. I've been very uncharacteristically patient and now my patience has run out."

"So what are you suggesting? That we just drive back to my place and rip each other's clothes off and have sex without first considering the consequences?"

He smirked. "Sounds good to me."

She groaned. "That's how I know you're not taking this seriously."

"Oh my God," he grumbled. "Fine. Let's talk. You can tell me all your ridiculous fears, I'll talk you out of them and _then_ we can bang like bunnies. Your place or mine?"

"Neither," she said a little too quickly. He arched an eyebrow. "Your place is too far away and mine is...dirty."

"It's dirty," he said dryly. "You act like I haven't seen it messy before."

"Yeah, well, it's really dirty this time."

Damon could tell by the way her eyes were bouncing everywhere but his that she was lying. It didn't take a genius to know that she didn't want to be in a small space alone with him. The realization that she was afraid she wouldn't be able to control herself around him filled him with a little too much glee.

"Fine," he said. "Let's meet at the coffeeshop around the corner." He started to walk off, but then spun around and pointed a finger at her. "And don't even think about not showing up, or else I'll come to your apartment and punish you like the bad girl you are."

Even in the darkness outside in the February night, he was pretty sure he saw her blush. He grinned and turned on his heels and damn near skipped to his car. On the way to the coffeeshop, he thought up a whole speech that he would give Bonnie to get her to relax that judgey little brain of hers. He got there before her, so he took it upon himself to get her a drink. He learned from his previous mistake exactly how she liked her fancy coffee and once he was sure he had it right, he found a table for them. He didn't have to wait long for her arrival, and he almost chuckled at how frazzled she looked. She sat down and he slid her the coffee. He opened his mouth to tell her all the reasons she shouldn't worry, but she beat him to the punch.

"I don't think we should do this," she said.

Her words deflated him for a second, but he brushed it off. "Yes, we should."

"No, we shouldn't."

"Why not? We're friends already. You said yourself that we know everything about each other. I thought the best relationships were built on friendship."

"Relationship?" she asked, wide-eyed. "In case you forgot, you'll still with Elena."

"So that's what this is about."

"Of course that's what this is about. You've said loudly and repeatedly how much you love Elena. How she's your epic love forever and for always, and now you want to sleep with her best friend?"

Damon clenched his jaw and smiled tightly. "She's not here. She wanted me to move on, as everyone keeps reminding me."

"I doubt she wanted you to move on with me."

"So you're going to let Elena control your life, even while she's in a coffin." He scoffed. "I should have known you would chicken out. You're thinking about this too much."

"And you're not thinking about it enough," she said sharply. "Have you even thought about how this would affect our friendship? What if we have some huge fight and this whole thing doesn't work out? Then what? You're my closest friend and I don't want to lose that."

"Sometimes you have to risk a good thing to get a great one."

She fell silent after that and he thought, for a moment, that he had won her over. But then she started shaking her head and he could tell from her expression that he was losing her. He tried to think of the right thing to say, but he had no idea what that was.

"I can't be your substitute," she finally said.

"What?"

"Your fill-in while you wait for Elena to come back. I can't be your friend during the day and a warm body for you to screw at night. I can't be your distraction while you count the days until I'm dead and she comes back."

Her words hit a spot in his chest that simultaneously sparked anger and hurt.

"Is that what you think this is?" he asked.

"Isn't it?"

Damon didn't respond immediately. Instead, he slowly shook his head and stood up.

"I guess you're right, Bon-Bon. You are just a distraction for me. That's why I stayed by your side while you slept for three days. That's why I stayed at your side while you were in the hospital for two weeks. That's why I've been pretty much at your beck and call whenever you need or want me." He gave her a tight smile. "I'm glad that after all the time we've spent together, you still find a way to think the worst of me."

He walked way from her, but she reached out and grabbed his arm.

"Damon..."

He pulled his arm out of her grasp and left her alone in the coffeeshop. He drove away before she could try to stop him, and he drove with no particular place in mind. The nagging pain of rejection pulled at his heart, and even though he was all too familiar with the feeling, it didn't hurt any less. His phone rang a few times and he knew without looking at it that it was Bonnie, so he didn't answer. In fact, he tossed his phone into his glove compartment and kept driving until he came to a bar somewhere in between Whitmore and Mystic Falls. He found a spot at the bar and ordered bourbon after bourbon until he lost count of how many he'd had.

"You gonna be okay to drive?" the bartender asked.

Damon hadn't paid the woman much attention but when he looked up, he saw an attractive brunette, smirking at him.

"I'll be fine," he said.

"Well you're still sitting upright. That's impressive."

"It takes a lot to affect me."

"Hm...what's got you drinking so much, if you don't mind my asking?"

"Look, honey," he said gruffly. "I'm not some lonely drifter who needs to tell his woes to the hot bartender. I like to drink. That's all there is to it."

Her smirk deepened. "Fair enough. I'll drop the sympathetic act and get right to the point. You're the finest thing that's walked in here and I'd like to go home with you. I get off in about an hour. Interested?"

A single eyebrow rose on Damon's face. He hadn't had sex since Elena went into her coma and his body's gut reaction was to say yes. Those girls who littered his hotel room in Vegas were just to fulfill his blood needs. Bonnie had been working him up lately, whether she knew it or not, but since that was a no-go, he nodded his head.

"Okay."

She smiled. "Cool. Wait for me here."

So he did. He drank and watched her interact with the other customers until it was her time to leave. She threw on a leather jacket and got in his car with him, no questions asked. He wanted to warn her about how stupid it was to get into random cars with handsome strangers, but he didn't have the energy. She kept her hand on his thigh while he gunned it back to the mansion and once they were inside, he led her to the first open bedroom upstairs, which happened to be a rarely-used guest room.

"Sit on the bed," she directed, and then she pushed him down onto the mattress.

He watched as she shed her jacket and boots and then slowly pulled her top off, revealing a toned stomach and large breasts showcased in a black lace bra. She was seductive with her movements, like she had done the routine many times before. She eased out of her skinny jeans and then crawled onto the bed and on top of him, like a cat on the prowl. She eased his shirt up his stomach and kissed his skin and he closed his eyes and tried to enjoy it.

As hard as he tried, though, it just didn't feel right. She was hot, no doubt, but she didn't smell like lavender and jasmine like Bonnie did. She was too sure of her movements, not slightly clumsy and unsure and endearing like he imagined Bonnie would be. He was stiff and uncomfortable underneath her body and after she realized he wasn't responding to anything she did, she sat up and frowned.

"Am I doing something wrong here?" she asked.

"No."

"Then what's the problem?"

Damon scrubbed his hands over his face and sighed. "You're not the girl I want you to be." Before she could ask what that meant, he compelled her and said, "go to sleep." And just like that, she crumpled into a snoring heap on top of him. He rolled her off of him and took the time to fold her clothes and place them on top of the dresser. He found a shirt for her and pulled it over her body and threw a blanket over her. He went to his own room and fell face down on the bed and he lay there until he gave in to a fitful sleep.

 **...**

Bonnie sat at the coffeeshop by herself for several minutes after Damon's departure. She replayed their conversation in her head over and over, wondering what she should have said or done differently. Ever since their date, all she'd thought about was him and their predicament and how she was going to handle it. She was sure she had made the right decision, until she saw the hurt look on Damon's face. When he reminded her of all the ways he had been there for her, with no strings attached, guilt settled into every bone of her body and she wanted to take it all back. She called him, repeatedly, but he never answered.

When she got to her apartment, she was ready to crumble on her bed and wallow in her own self-pity. Instead, she was met with the sight of Caroline sitting on the couch in the living room, watching reality TV and painting her toenails.

"Hey," Caroline said with a bright smile. She held up two bottles of toenail polish, one blue and one purple. "Want me to do yours?"

"Maybe later," Bonnie sighed. "I need some girl talk."

"Uh-oh, what happened?"

Bonnie dragged her tired body to the couch and plopped down on it. She hugged a pillow and shook her head.

"I screwed things up with Damon."

"Details."

"Well, you know I've kind of been avoiding him since that ambush date you sent us up on."

"It was not an ambush, but okay."

"He found me today after my dance class and wanted to talk. Long story short, he wants to be with me and I told him no. And then we got into it about Elena and our friendship and how it's too complicated and blah blah blah." She sighed and rolled her head towards Caroline. "I told him that I don't want to be his substitute and I guess that hurt his feelings because he huffed off and now he won't answer my calls."

"Hmm."

"What do you mean, hmmm?"

"I mean, which of those reasons is your real reason? We both know that you like him. Actually, we both know that you love him. So why are you holding back if he wants to be with you?"

"Because he belongs to Elena and he always will," was Bonnie's automatic response.

Caroline nodded and thought for a minute before she answered.

"Would it make you feel better if I told you that Elena already knew that you and Damon had feelings for each other?"

Bonnie's eyes widened to the sizes of saucers. "What? How could she have known that? This just happened."

"No, you and Damon just _realized_ that it was happening, but the rest of us have known since he got back from the prison world. You should have seen how he acted when he thought you were dead. You should have seen how he acted when he realized you _weren_ 't dead. Oh my God, he was driving us all crazy. It was all Bon-Bon this and Judgey that. He put Elena to the back burner because all he could talk about was you! She even asked me if I thought something had happened between you two."

It took Bonnie a minute to process everything Caroline had said.

"Why didn't you tell me about all that?" she asked.

"Honestly, this is the first time I've thought about it." She turned fully to Bonnie and took her hand. "We've been friends for a long time. You know I am always looking out for you, and if I thought that Damon wasn't into you, I wouldn't be encouraging it. But the truth is that I think he really cares about you. And yeah, Elena's going to be an issue at first, but it's not any different than any other ex that you would have to deal with. If you want to be with him, you should go for it. And if he messes up, we'll kick his ass together."

Bonnie cracked a smile. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. Just think about it."

And she did think about it for the rest of the night, until she finally made up her mind and found sleep. When she woke up, she had a new attitude and confidence about her. She got ready and before she headed out of the front door, she stopped by Caroline's room and found her friend still in bed.

"Hey, sorry to wake you up, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to see Damon," Bonnie said. "I'm going to tell him that I want to give us a chance."

"Oh yay," Caroline said with a big smile. "Give me five minutes. I'll come with you."

"You will?"

"Yeah. I think it's time I took my own advice and give it a shot with Stefan."

Bonnie grinned. "I'll be in the living room."

It didn't even take Caroline five minutes before she used her vamp speed to get ready. She walked into the living room looking refreshed and ready, and the two friends set off for the Salvatore mansion in Bonnie's Prius. They blasted Beyonce all the way there, and Bonnie was feeling happy and sure of her choice when they walked inside and found Stefan in the kitchen. He was sipping a mug of blood and reading a newspaper when he smiled at them.

"Good morning. To what do I owe this early pleasure?" he asked.

"Just stopping by to handle some business," Caroline said. She wiggled her eyebrows and Stefan frowned but smiled.

"What does that mean?"

"Is Damon here?" Bonnie asked.

"His car is here but I haven't seen him," Stefan said.

"You don't mind if I go up and see him, do you?" she asked.

Stefan shook his head and gestured for her to go up, but before she could, they all heard talking and footsteps coming their way. Coming into the kitchen was Damon, wearing only some low-hanging pajama pants, and right behind him, a woman wearing just a shirt that barely covered her thighs. Damon stopped when he saw Bonnie, and the woman, who was in the middle of saying something, shut up when she saw the shocked looks on Bonnie's, Caroline's and Stefan's faces. She looked to Damon to say something or break the ice, but he was staring at Bonnie.

"Uh, okay," she said, "I'm sensing some tension here."

All eyes fell on Bonnie, who was staring at Damon so hard that it was a wonder he hadn't caught on fire.

"Why don't I give you a ride home?" Stefan offered, as he nodded his head to Caroline to give them some space.

"Oh, no, that's okay. I'm sure Damon wouldn't mind," the woman said.

Damon turned to her and compelled her by saying, "let my brother give you a ride."

She turned to Stefan and smiled. "Sure, that would be great."

"Great," Stefan said dryly. "Putting on some clothes might also be a good idea."

He took the woman by the elbow and they left the kitchen. Caroline followed behind and she made sure to bump her shoulder very hard into Damon as she walked by. He moved a little but never took his eyes off Bonnie, who was struggling to contain the rage and betrayal that she felt by seeing Damon with another woman. It didn't take a genius to figure out what had gone on between them, and all the excitement she felt about talking to him melted into bitter disappointment. He didn't help matters at all while he stood there, half-naked and nonchalant.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Leaving."

She tried to walk out of the kitchen, but he sped in front of her and blocked her way out. She gathered what was left of her patience as she stared at his bare chest.

"Get out of my way," she said.

"Not until you tell me why you're here. Surely, you didn't drive all this way just to show up and leave."

"You're right. I didn't," she said as she met his eyes again. "But what I had to say is irrelevant now, so please get out of my way."

He smirked in that devious and annoying way of his and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Don't tell me you're jealous," he said. "Last time I checked, you rejected me. So you don't get to be jealous."

"I didn't reject you, Damon."

"Funny, that's not how I remember it."

"Rejecting you would have been my saying that I don't like you, or I'm not attracted to you, or 'sorry, you're not my type.' That's not what I said. What I told you is that our friendship is important to me and I don't want to jeopardize it because of lust."

He shrugged one shoulder. "Tomato, to-mah-to."

Bonnie laughed in disbelief and moved away from him as she backed up.

"You are unbelievable, you know that?" she asked. "And to think that I was coming here this morning to apologize to you for hurting your feelings yesterday and to say let's give it a try. But then you pull this stunt and remind me of exactly why you and I could never work out."

His smirk disintegrated into a hardened line. "Oh yeah? Why is that?"

"Because you're an impulsive, thoughtless, spoiled little jackass and you lash out at the slightest thing. Is that what you would do if we were together and we got into a fight? Would you run to the first girl you met just to hurt me?"

He clenched his jaw. "I guess we'll never know, will we?"

They shared a heated stare down before Bonnie shook her head. "No, I guess we won't."

She walked past him and headed for the front door. She pulled it open, only to have Damon's hand appear above her head as he closed the door again. She spun around, officially out of patience and ready to give him a piece of her mind, when he spoke first.

"I didn't sleep with her," he said.

Bonnie's face morphed into one of confusion. "What?"

"That girl you saw. I didn't sleep with her."

"Right."

"Look at me." He stared at her with those electric blue eyes. "You know when I'm lying. I didn't sleep with her."

She searched his face for any sort of clue that he was not telling the truth, but she didn't find any. She was as mad as she was relieved.

"But you let me think that you had?" she asked.

He shrugged. "You were getting all mad and cute and I wanted to see how far it would go."

"This isn't a game, Damon," she snapped. "My feelings aren't something for you to play with."

"I know that. And that's why I'm telling you the truth. If you really don't want to be with me, she shouldn't be a reason." He brought his other hand up to the door, boxing her head in between his arms. "I didn't do it because I knew it would screw up whatever tiny chance I might still have with you."

Bonnie looked at him in disbelief.

"You are the most juvenile, irritating, manipulative moron I've ever met," she said.

He smiled, which made her a lot less annoyed than it should have.

"Yeah," he agreed. "But you love me."

He dropped his hands to her hips and pulled her into him, and through the thin material of his pajama pants, she could feel him... _all of him_. Warmth rushed into her cheeks and throughout her body and the anger from earlier dissipated with the knowledge that he hadn't actually had sex with his houseguest. Suddenly, she was able to appreciate his naked chest and the heavenly, homey smell of his skin.

"Don't you?" he asked, as he leaned his head down way too close to hers.

"Don't I what?"

"Love me."

Their eyes connected in a moment of thick silence. She could tell from the look on his face that he already knew the answer to that question. She wanted to lie to him, to make him think that he had lost her with all his shenanigans, but she had never been a very good liar.

"Yes," she said quietly.

Damon smiled like a victorious little boy and he leaned his lips down to kiss her, but she backed away...far enough that they could look at each other, but close enough that their noses were just a hair apart. He raised an eyebrow.

"I won't be your fill-in," she said quietly. "If we do this, you'll get my whole heart. And I want the same in return. Don't do this if you can't give that to me."

He searched her eyes for a moment, before he said "okay." And before she knew what was happening, his mouth were on hers and her face was in his hands. His lips were so soft and he applied just the right amount of pressure. It took her a second to comprehend the situation, that they were really crossing that line, until she kissed him back and pressed her mouth against his. They went back and forth like that, kissing and pecking, and it was sweet. Until Damon slid his tongue into her mouth. It felt so good, and forbidden, that Bonnie couldn't stop the shiver that hit her entire body. He worked his tongue with the same confidence that he did everything else and with each swirl and suck and nip of her lips, she became surer and surer that there would be no going back for them. He was either going to have her heart forever, or break it beyond repair.

And that was a risk she was willing to take.


	17. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Bonnie's first official date with Damon came by way of a double date with Caroline and Stefan. They all agreed that a fun outing of bumper cars and putt-putt was a good way to break the ice on both of their new relationships. While the Salvatore brothers waited in the living room (Stefan, patiently, and Damon, not so much), the girls were in Caroline's bathroom, touching up each other's makeup and hair. When they were finished, they looked at one another and grinned.

"How do I look?" Bonnie asked.

"Gorgeous," Caroline said. "And me?"

"Titillating."

That earned a giddy giggle from both of them and Caroline turned to her mirror and flipped her blonde hair a little.

"You and Damon, and me and Stefan," she sighed. "Who'd have thought?"

"I know. I thought they'd die fighting over Elena."

"Have you told her yet?"

"Who?"

"Elena. Have you written it in your journal?"

Bonnie shook her head guiltily. "I want to, I do. I keep picking up the pen to write it down, but I don't know what to say. 'Hey Elena, I know you're head over heels in love with Damon but guess what? He's my boyfriend now. Sorry.' Seems kind of harsh."

"I'm sure you'll figure out the right way to put it." Caroline spun around and shrugged. "And you know what? By the time she reads it, you'll be dead anyway."

"Thanks, Care. You always see the big picture."

"That's why you love me."

"One of the many reasons."

Caroline took Bonnie's hands and said, "come on, let's go get our men."

When the two friends walked into the living room, Stefan stood and smiled at both of them.

"Wow, you ladies look beautiful."

"Thank you," they both said.

All eyes fell to Damon, who was still sitting on the couch. Bonnie's heart rate increased when he finally stood up and sauntered over to her. His intense blue gaze swept over her from head to toe, and then he smirked.

"Bon-Bon," he said. "You look hot." He turned his attention to Caroline. "Blondie. You look slightly more appealing that usual."

"And you look slightly less like a total douchebag," she said with a smile.

"It's always great to see you two getting along," Stefan said with a smile that didn't even look fake. He held out his arm for Caroline and asked, "shall we?" She grinned and looped her arm in his and they led the way out of the apartment.

Bonnie looked to Damon, unsure if he would make the same gesture. She realized that there was a part of her that hoped he would, a part of her that wanted him to scoop her up in his arms and literally sweep her off her feet like a princess. She felt the sting of disappointment when he did none of that and instead held his arm out in front of her and said, "after you." They walked down the apartment breezeway behind Caroline and Stefan, whose hands were entwined and swinging back and forth like young lovers on a beach stroll. Bonnie's hand felt cold and empty from where Damon was not touching her, and when her eyes flitted to him, he smirked and bumped his shoulder against hers. Like they were friends, not soon-to-be lovers.

An odd sensation of discomfort and uncertainty twisted through Bonnie's stomach, and it stayed there throughout the ride to the amusement park. While Stefan drove and he and Caroline chatted easily and freely, still holding hands and laughing, Bonnie and Damon sat in the back, not talking and not touching. The truth was that she had no idea what to do. She didn't know if she should or shouldn't make a move on him, or whether she should let him be the aggressor. By the time they stepped up to the ticket counter, Damon still hadn't done anything and Bonnie's uncertainty gave way to irritation. After Stefan bought tickets for him and Caroline, Bonnie slid in front of Damon and attempted to buy her own ticket.

"One, please," she said to the bored teenager. The kid started to take her money, but Damon put his hand out and stopped her.

"Hold up, what are you doing?" he asked.

"Buying my ticket," she said.

"I know you're a modern, bra-burning, I-am-woman-hear-me-roar type of chick, but I'm old school and I'm paying for this date, whether you like it or not."

Bonnie crossed her arms over chest. "Is it a date?"

"What?" he asked, his dark eyebrows buried deep on his forehead. "Of course it's a date. What are you talking about?"

"Well, it's been kind of hard to tell, with you standing about three feet away from me at all times. I mean, look at Stefan and Caroline," she said, flinging her arm in their direction. The two vampires were still holding hands, laughing and swinging their arms while they walked to the putt-putt area, completely oblivious to everything around them. "They look comfortable and happy. And we look...awkward. I don't know whether I should touch you or not. Or whether you even _want_ me to touch you. Or how or where I can touch you. Maybe this whole thing was a bad idea because right now it feels a lot less like a date and lot more like two friends hanging out and chaperoning two other friends."

She waited impatiently and uncomfortably for some kind of response, some kind of assurance that she was totally misreading his distance, but when he only blinked at her, she sighed and shook her head.

"You know what? Let's just forget this altogether."

She started to walk away, only to have Damon grab her arm and pull her back to him. He pulled her body flush against his, which temporarily made her breath catch in her throat.

"First of all, I haven't touched you all night because I know myself and I know that when I like a girl, I can come off a little strong. Believe it or not, I didn't want to scare you off and fuck this whole thing up before it even gets started."

Bonnie's eyes fell to his lips and her irritation melted like snow in the sun.

"Secondly, _of course_ I want you to touch me. All I've thought about all day is you touching me. In fact, I would be fine if we ditched this stupid ass place and went back to your apartment and spent the night touching each other with absolutely no clothes on. But I'm here because I want you to know that this isn't just about sex, even though I plan on having an obscene amount of sex with you sooner rather than later."

Warmth spread from the top of her head to the tips of her toes, and she only got hotter when he pulled her even closer, pressing his middle into hers and brushing his lips against hers.

"And lastly, don't compare us to Stefan and Caroline. They've been doing this dance way longer than we have, and their comfort level isn't our comfort level. We'll figure out what works for us as we go along. But for future reference, if you want to hold my hand, then it's yours to hold. If you want to rest your head on my shoulder, then it's yours to use. If you want to touch me and be affectionate with me, then do it. Because all of this..." he said, and he interlaced their fingers together. He dragged their joined hands down his chest, to the crotch of his pants, where he made sure that she got a handful. "All of this is yours. Okay?"

Bonnie's throat dried at the exact same moment that her panties got wet, and all she could do was nod. Damon did that satisfied, asshole-y smile that she had grudgingly come to love, and he leaned down and pressed an all too quick peck on her lips. He dropped their hands from his junk and kept their fingers intertwined while he bought their tickets and Bonnie tried to calm the raging storm in her heart and between her legs. She tried to play it cool when they joined Stefan and Caroline on the putting green, but she could tell from the sly smile on Caroline's face that she had heard the whole exchange. And she approved of the outcome.

"So how are we splitting up the teams?" Stefan asked. "Guys versus girls?"

"You and your lady versus me and mine," Damon said. "Loser buys tickets for Laser Tag."

Stefan nodded at Caroline and Damon winked at Bonnie. "Deal," Stefan said.

Caroline went first, then Bonnie, Stefan and Damon. Bonnie stood on the side and watched in surprise as Damon took his time, measuring his shot, before gently tapping the ball in for a hole-in-one. Knowing him, she expected him to hit it too hard and then complain about how stupid the game was. She was surprised by his soft touch, and after the ball went in, he winked at her and said, "you have to have just the right stroke." Her cheeks burned a little and that only seemed to encourage him. He made several comments about balls and strokes and holes and even managed to throw in a comment about pelvic thrusts.

Several excruciating holes later, she and Damon had won and Damon was marching like a proud peacock as they all walked inside for Laser Tag. He put his arm around Bonnie and kissed the top of her head. All her worries from earlier disappeared and she felt giddy and dreamy even when their sweet moment was interrupted by a disgusted pre-teen.

"Ew, gross, get a room!" the kid said, much to the delight of his friends, who joined in and laughed.

"Oh, please, get a girlfriend, you little mongrel," Damon shot back.

"What are you even doing here?" the kid asked. "Aren't you like, fifty? Aren't you a little old to be playing Laser Tag?"

"Aren't you a little old for your mom to be dressing you and still cutting your hair with a bowl?"

"Oooh, burn!" the other kids said, laughing loudly at their friend.

Damon smiled, way too satisfied with himself, and Bonnie couldn't fight back the amused grin tugging at her lips.

"I'm not sure whether I should be embarrassed that you're arguing with a child, or flattered that you defended my honor."

"Flattered," he said, placing a kiss on her knuckles. "Always flattered. And when we get in there, we're gonna kick his ass."

During all three rounds of Laser Tag, Damon was single-minded in his mission to get the kid who had heckled him and Bonnie. He cheated, of course, by using his vampire speed in the dark room and shooting the kid every chance he got. When Bonnie finally convinced him to hang up his gear and give the kid a break, the four of them split up to do their own individual things. Caroline and Stefan decided to go back to the apartment for some "quality time," and Damon and Bonnie hung out together for the rest of the night, taking advantage of all the fun things at the amusement park. It was well past midnight when they finally got to Bonnie's doorstep.

"Well, that was fun," she said with a big smile.

"Very. I'm a fun guy."

"And so modest."

He smiled, and she shivered a little when he ran his hand down her arm and wound their fingers together.

"So, is this the end of our date?" she asked, unable to control the nervous beating of her heart.

"As much as I would love to come in, yes I think this is the end."

"I seem to recall you promising me an obscene amount of sex."

"And you'll get it," he said with a chuckle. "You just don't strike me as the sex-on-the-first-date type of girl."

"Technically, this is our second date."

Damon continued to smile as he scooted closer to her and cupped her cheek with his free hand. He brushed his thumb over her skin and she wondered how such a small, gentle caress could affect her so much.

"There's no rush, you know," he said. "We don't have to do anything you're not ready for."

"And what if I am ready?"

He eyed her for a few seconds. "You're not. But I'm not going anywhere and I can be incredibly patient when I want to be." He kissed her forehead. "Good night...pumpkin."

Bonnie laughed. "Pumpkin?"

"Yeah. We need some cute pet names for each other. You don't like Pumpkin?"

"No, can't say that I do."

"I'll keep working on it."

"You do that."

They smiled at each other before Bonnie stood on her tiptoes and kissed him a few times.

"Good night," she whispered.

He waited outside while she slid into the apartment and sighed contentedly. She headed to her bedroom and wasted no time calling Damon, and they spoke for his whole ride back to the boarding house.

They talked every day after that, too, always on the phone and usually in person. On the three days a week that Bonnie had morning classes, Damon would show up after her last class with some coffee and a doughnut. She usually spent her weekends with him at his house and sometimes she slept over, but never in the same bed with him. They did kiss and make-out but it never got past groping. As much as Bonnie admired Damon's restraint and his willingness to wait for her, his patience was also driving her crazy. For once, she actually wanted him to be impulsive and throw caution into the wind and take her against every hard and soft surface they encountered.

But she never pushed it, mostly because she knew that he was right. She had to be ready. She had only ever slept with Jeremy and once she went there with Damon, there was no going back.

Her sexual frustrations weren't helping during the last week of class, when she was studying for her physics test. Missing the first few weeks while she was in the hospital and recovering at home certainly didn't help the fact that science wasn't her cup of tea. Every time she tried to read and highlight and do practice tests, it was like her brain shut down.

"Hey there, honey bun," Damon said as he waltzed into her room. He flopped onto her bed and wiggled his eyebrows. "Whatcha doing?"

"Trying and failing to study," she sighed. She left her book on her desk and crawled onto the bed with him. He hugged her into his body and they kissed a few times before she pulled away and groaned. "Of all the hard sciences, why the hell did I take this one?"

"Because you hate biology and chemistry sucks."

She groaned again and rested her head on his chest, while he gently rubbed her back.

"Stefan and I are going to get an apartment here," Damon said, out of the blue. Bonnie's head popped up and she looked at him with surprised eyes.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, why not?" he asked with a shrug. "It's pretty impractical to go back and forth between here and the boarding house, and we're here way more than we're there. We've already signed the lease."

Bonnie's eyes widened even further. "Wow. Okay."

"Worried that I'll bug you all the time?"

"No, it's not that. It's just...really sweet. That you want to be closer to me."

He smirked and said, "well I'm just doing this until you ask me to move in with you."

"Ha, don't hold your breath."

"We were basically living together before, you know."

"Before, we were just friends. Now it's different."

"Because you're desperately in love with me?"

She smiled softly. "Something like that."

He grinned. "I have that effect on women."

"Mm hm, well as much as I love talking about how irresistible you are, I need to get back to studying. I've been reading the same page for hours."

"You know the solution for stress." When she raised an eyebrow, he wiggled his fingers. "A massage from yours truly. You up for that?"

"I'm always up for that."

She sat up and pulled off her hoodie, where she had a tank top on underneath. Damon opened his legs and patted the space in between, and Bonnie slid herself in. He rested his back against her headboard and got to work, starting with her shoulders and neck. Instantly, Bonnie felt better. He had just the right touch, hard enough to work out the kinks but soft enough to feel good. Her head lolled down while he did his magic and he rubbed down her back, burying his knuckles in all the right spots. She was about to fall asleep, when he leaned in from behind and whispered in her ear, "lay down for me. And take off this shirt."

He tugged on her tank top and immediately, all thoughts of sleep and relaxation were banished from her mind. She started to lie down, but then a brilliant idea popped into her head. With her back still to Damon, she pulled off her tank top. She turned her head just enough for him to see the profile of her face as she slid her hand up her back and unclasped her bra. She slid the straps down her arms and tossed the bra onto the ground. She then slinked forward until her front was pressed down on the comforter. Damon didn't respond immediately, but then she felt him move and the weight of his body hovered just slightly over hers.

"You're playing dirty," he whispered in her ear.

Her nipples hardened at the feel of his breath on her, but she shrugged like she wasn't bothered.

"No, I'm just trying to get the full Damon experience," she said.

"Hmph."

He didn't say anything else, but she did hear him rustle around behind her. She heard the sound of her lotion bottle opening, and soon after his hands were rubbing lotion on her bare skin. She didn't fight the moan that escaped when he slid his hands from the small of her back to the tops of her shoulders. Every touch turned her on and her body went on high alert when his hands stroked down her sides, touching the sides of her breasts. He leaned down and brushed his nose against her skin, planting kisses along the way. By the time he finished, she was wet and unable to think of anything but finally taking the plunge with him.

"There," he said in her ear. "Feeling better?"

"Much." She turned her head to the side so that they were looking at each other. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, dewdrop."

"You know this pet name thing isn't going to catch on, right?"

"I'll find one you like."

"I like Bon-Bon just fine."

He smiled and brushed his lips against hers. "Bon-Bon it is, then. I'll let you get back to studying."

Mild panic came over Bonnie because she knew he was about to leave. So as he lifted himself off of her, she grabbed his hand and said, "stay." Their eyes held for a minute. When he didn't get up or lie down again, she knew that he was waiting on her to make the first move. So with every bit of courage she had, she wiggled her hips to create some space between them and then turned over. Damon's eyes fell to her bare chest and in the seconds when he didn't say anything, her heart pounded so hard that she was sure it was deafening to him.

When he did move, he slid both of his hands up her stomach but stopped before he got to her breasts.

"May I?" he asked.

She nodded. It felt like an eternity before he touched them, but when he did, he used that same surprisingly gentle touch. He caressed her breasts and ran his thumbs over her hard nipples. She watched as he lay down in between her legs and kissed up her stomach. Her head fell back and she bit her lip to suppress her sounds, but she couldn't stop the satisfied groan when he twirled his tongue over one of her nipples and then sucked it into his mouth. He did that over and over until he switched to the next breast and her fingers threaded into his hair. He was so maddeningly slow and thorough that she felt like she might burst if he didn't give her what she wanted. So she tugged on his hair and pulled his mouth to hers, where all slowness stopped.

Their mouths and tongues ravaged each other while her hands fell to his jeans and his went straight for the waistband of her yoga pants. Damon wasn't helping her cause much because instead of letting her rid him of the damn jeans, he was thrusting into her and swallowing every hungry moan of hers. He pulled her pants down and managed to get them off her legs without ever breaking their kiss. He ran his finger up the center of her panties and the wetness there caused both of them to groan. He finally pulled away from their embrace and sat up on his knees. Bonnie watched with unbridled lust as he stroked himself through his jeans and then slid her panties off her legs.

She expected to be embarrassed the first time she was naked in front of him, but she was too far gone to care and the way he was looking at her assured her that there was nothing to be embarrassed about. He tore his eyes off of her long enough to get off the bed and unzip his jeans. She watched with rapt attention as he stepped out of his pants and revealed a rock-hard erection. Her clit throbbed as he stood there and stroked himself a few times, and then he climbed back on the bed and settled between her legs. He rubbed himself against her entrance and cursed.

"Damn, you're so wet for me," he breathed. "Are you ready?"

"Yes," she whispered. Damon rubbed against her a few times before he slowly pushed himself inside her. Bonnie's head fell back again and she closed her eyes and hissed, "yesss" with each torturously slow inch until he was fully inside of her. He was still until she gave him a slight nod that she was ready for more.

And that was when the dance started. At first, he went in and out at a snail's pace, winding Bonnie up like a toy. He circled his hips in an intoxicating rhythm and Bonnie wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him as close to her as possible. She buried her hands in his hair and crashed his mouth into hers, where their tongues battled at the same pace as their lower halves. His hands rubbed her breasts, creating a whole-body experience that had her teetering on the edge of orgasm from the very beginning. She allowed his teasing for as long as she could stand it, but when she felt the tingling build-up of ecstasy in the pit of her stomach, she needed more.

She started to push back against his thrusts, trying to speed up his rhythm. He refused to change his pace and she groaned in his mouth, which made him smile.

"You want it faster?" he asked in a heavy whisper.

"Yes."

"Then say it. Tell me what you want."

The thought of saying what she really wanted temporarily scared her, but all uncertainty was lost when he sped up his thrusts a little bit, but then slowed back down.

"Teasing bastard," she grumbled.

"Tell me. I want to hear you say it."

Every thrust got her closer, but not close enough. Damon nipped at her lips and continued his slow wind until it almost drove her crazy.

"Faster," she begged in a voice that even turned _her_ on. "Harder."

As soon as she said it, Damon granted her request. He upped his tempo until Bonnie was practically screaming with each thrust.

"Oh. God," she said. "I'm. So. Close."

"Come for me, baby. I want to see it so bad."

The combination of his body and words only added to the incredible feeling that had sparked inside of her. It only took a few more movements from Damon's talented hips before an orgasm ripped through her small body. Her butt lifted off the bed and she screamed, and her legs locked him into place while she got every bit of her orgasm. She was still spasming when Damon sat up on his hunches and held her hips in place while he pistoned in and out harder and faster than before. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head and just as he exploded, she came again. He collapsed on top of her and they breathed heavily on each other for several long minutes.

"Wow," Bonnie said when she had a voice again.

His head was buried in her neck when he said, "ditto."

A grin broke out on her face and she laughed once, but then couldn't stop laughing. He popped his head up and smirked.

"What are you laughing at?"

"Nothing. I don't know," she said, still giggling. "I'm happy."

"I make you happy?"

"Yeah, you do."

He kissed her and said, "I'm glad."

They lay there together for a while, giggling and sharing pillow talk, until they realigned themselves at the top of the bed and cuddled up for sleep. They held each other all night and when Bonnie awoke in the morning, she didn't want to leave his comforting embrace. She was careful to slip out of his arms without waking him and she quietly shut the bathroom door behind her. She used the bathroom and brushed her teeth and took a good long look at herself in the mirror. Her skin looked bright and vibrant and even to her eyes, love looked good on her.

She had plans to crawl back into bed with Damon, when she caught sight of the journal that was poking out from underneath her physics binder. A streak of guilt went through her when she remembered that she still hadn't written anything about her relationship with Damon. As happy as she was, she knew she wouldn't feel fully free until she got it off her chest. So she pulled on a robe and quietly sat down in her chair. She opened the journal and picked up a pen, and before she could chicken out, she wrote the first words that came to her.

 _April 28, 2014_

 _Dear Elena,_

 _It's been a while since I've written. I won't make up excuses for why because the truth is that I've been avoiding you. The reason is that something has happened and I'm sure you won't be happy about it. I guess it would be easy to just not tell you. After all, there won't be a time where we're together again and maybe all this will fall apart before you even wake up. But it's weighing on me, and I promised to tell you everything that you're missing...especially when it comes to Damon._

 _So here it is. Damon and I are together, and not just as friends. Maybe you saw this coming. I don't know. You did tell me right before you went to sleep that we could both have what we wanted, just not at the same time. Maybe it's just wishful thinking on my part that you were talking about Damon._

 _Even if you didn't see it coming, and even if I'm the worst friend in the world to fall for your boyfriend, please don't hate me. Please know that I never meant for this happen. I was only supposed to look out for him, to make sure that there was something left for you when you wake up. But somewhere along the way, he stopped being a chore and started being my best friend. He became the person I lean on and run to, the person I want to talk to every day or else my day doesn't feel complete. I guess I didn't see it happening. I messed up. I did the one thing I didn't want to do, and I'm so sorry to hurt you. But the truth is that I fell in love with Damon...and I think he might love me, too._

 _I'm sorry._

 _Love,_

 _Bonnie_


	18. Chapter 17

**All, I have not forgotten about or abandoned this story. I am pregnant with my second child, and this little nugget has been giving me a run for my money. With all the nausea, vomiting and exhaustion, I just haven't had the time or energy to write. But I think I'm turning the corner on that and I'm feeling much better, so hopefully, I can get back to regular updating. To Bamon!**

Chapter 17

 _May 14, 2014_

 _Dear Elena,_

 _It's been one year since we said our goodbyes to you. Can you believe that? I can't. I mean, in some ways it seems like it just happened and in other ways, it feels like it's been forever. You already know how much everything has changed. It's crazy how much difference a year makes._

 _I'll be honest, as much as I want to tell you what's going on, I'm not exactly sure what to say about Damon. I want you to know what's happening, but I don't want it to feel like I'm rubbing it in your face or bragging that we're together now. You know I wouldn't do that. I guess if you're really mad about it and don't want to read it, then you won't._

 _Damon is good. He's good to me. It's funny to see how sweet he can be in the boyfriend setting. He and Stefan moved into the apartment directly above ours. Having them so close is kind of fun and exciting. The four of us being together is good for everyone, I think. We have this little support system that I really like. I'll have to make sure to include Matt. I haven't seen him a while._

 _Anyway, the semester is about to end. Caroline is going to do rotations at the hospital and I'm taking some classes, still catching up from all that time I missed. I should be back on track after this summer. I just have to figure out what I'm going to do with my life...now that there's a life to live._

 _I hope you're okay. We're okay. And believe it or not, we all miss you._

 _Love,_  
 _Bon_

 _..._

Damon knew very well that he was prone to exaggeration and hyperbole. When given the opportunity to describe things, he usually used the most extreme adjectives and overstated everything. That was why he was very careful not to call his relationship with Bonnie "perfect." He'd thought his relationship with Katherine was perfect. He'd convinced himself that things with Elena were perfect. He knew that neither Bonnie nor their relationship was perfect...but damn, it was close.

Moving into her apartment complex was the best decision he'd ever made. He got to see her all the time and they even developed their own little routine. Over the course of the summer, Bonnie had essentially moved in with him and Stefan had basically moved in with Caroline in the girls' apartment. Damon teased Bonnie about taking over his space, but he actually kind of loved that her lotion was on his nightstand and her toothbrush was in the cup, right next to his. He made her breakfast before she left for class in the mornings, and they switched off making dinner, at least when they weren't having get-togethers with Stefan, Caroline and Matt.

It was so domestic. He loved it.

It was a beautiful warm summer evening and he was at home, waiting for her to get back from her classes. He was killing time playing the XBox online with Matt, something he had taken up after Bonnie insisted that he get a hobby aside from her. He was surprised by how much he liked it, and how much better Matt was with the fake guns of the game than he was in real life as a rent-a-cop.

"Watch your back," Damon said into his headset. "Two up top."

"Yeah, I see 'em," Matt said back.

Damon's fingers moved quickly over his controller and he leaned his head to the side while he snuck around the virtual world and shot an enemy in the back.

"Take that, you son of a bitch!" he screamed into his headset.

Just as he said that, a slim body slid into his view and blocked the television. His eyes trailed up the familiar figure until he was met with Bonnie's smirking face.

"Hi," she said.

"Hey there, Bon-Bon," he said with a grin.

She lifted one side of his headset and said, "I've been calling your name since I walked in the door but I guess you were too busy killing sons of bitches to hear me."

"Pretty much." He took her hand and tugged it until she leaned down and kissed him a few times. "You want me to turn it off?"

"You can play. I'll be back."

She walked away and he swatted her butt right before she was out of his reach. He knew he had a big smile on his face and he didn't even try to stop it. He knew that she was going to take a bath or shower and then come sit with him on the couch for a while. She might read a magazine or read for class or actually watch him play his game until she was ready for them to spend some time together. It was stuff like that that made him think she might have been perfect.

He kept playing with Matt until Bonnie returned, dressed in nothing but one of his shirts. She curled up her little body next to him and tucked her feet under his legs while she played on her iPad. Every now and then, he rubbed her feet. And every now and then, her toes flitted across his crotch. It was only after she had done that about five times in a row that he decided it was time to hang up the game and pay his lady some attention.

"All right, Donovan, I'm out," he said, before he turned off the console and immediately turned to Bonnie and plucked the iPad out of her hands. He placed it on the coffee table and climbed on top of her.

"Hey, I was using that," she said.

"You should have thought about that before you kept running your toes all over my junk."

"I was just trying to keep them warm," she said flirtatiously.

"Mm hm," he mumbled. Damon nestled his body on top of hers and spread her legs so she could situate himself in between them. He nuzzled her neck and kissed her soft skin and she hummed. "How was your day?" he asked between sucking and kissing her.

"Good," she sighed. "I signed up for my fall classes."

"Oh yeah?" He dragged his lips across the front of her neck and gently bit down on her collarbone.

"Ooh," Bonnie groaned. "Yeah."

He popped his head up and smiled. "Yeah to the classes, or yeah that feels good?"

She smiled dreamily. "Both." She reached her hands up and threaded her fingers in his hair. He was about to attack her full lips but she said, "actually, there was something I wanted to talk to you about."

"If you're going to break up with me, could it wait until after the sex?"

She smirked. "When I was signing up for classes, I saw some flyers for a study abroad program in Amsterdam. It's like an international law, human rights type of thing."

Damon pulled her hand from his hair and kissed her palm. "Is that something you're interested in?"

"I don't know. Maybe. I think so. It sounds cool."

"Then do it."

"But it's for a whole semester. What about us? This is going so well...I wouldn't want to mess it up."

"Then I'll come with you," he said simply.

Her green eyes lit up. "Really?"

"Yeah. You forget, Bon-Bon, I've accrued a little wealth over my extended lifetime. I'll come with you and you can study by day and we can bang like bunnies in the Red Light District by night."

She caressed his cheek and said, "you're so romantic."

"Only for you."

She giggled and then pulled his mouth down to hers, and he knew the talking was over. And he was so ready for it. Even though they saw each other every day and slept in the same bed every night, his excitement to have her hadn't died down at all. He never grew tired of the way her warm tongue worked its way around his mouth, whether she was being slow and languid or desperate and hard. He loved seeing the sexual side of her, knowing that he was in very exclusive company, and knowing how much he pleased her.

After he had his fill of her sinful mouth, he pulled himself away and slid his T-shirt up her body, revealing nothing but a pair of skimpy panties and bare breasts. He didn't waste any time going for her breasts, which he had found were her favorite erogenous zones and they were pretty high on his list, too. They were so perky and round and her nipples got so hard for him. He palmed one of them and gently squeezed while he sucked and bit the other. Bonnie released an open-mouthed moan and arched her back a little, pushing even more of her flesh into his eager mouth. He worked her chest over while he slid a hand down between her legs and eased her panties off. Damon slid a finger inside her while he sucked her breasts and she inhaled sharply.

"Ooh, baby," she moaned.

His erection twitched; he loved when she called him "baby" in the heat of the moment. He slid another finger inside her and curved them up.

"Shit," she breathed. She grabbed his hair and pulled until he looked at her. "I want you."

He smirked and wiggled the fingers that were buried in her wetness. "These are part of me."

"You know what I mean," she groaned.

He bit the underside of her breast and she tossed her head back and gritted her teeth.

"I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific," he said.

She didn't respond immediately, which only made him continue what he was doing. He knew what she wanted, and she knew how to get it from him, but she was hesitant. Although she had opened up to him in every other way, she was still a little shy about dirty talk. But there was nothing that turned him on more than hearing filthy words come out of her pretty mouth, and if the way wetness spilled from her legs every time she participated was any indication, he was sure that she liked it, too.

He pulled his mouth from her chest and trailed it down her stomach. He heard her breaths speeding up the closer he got to the promise land, and once he removed his fingers, he replaced them with his tongue.

"Oh, God!" she called.

He slowly, torturously slid his tongue inside of her and her shaky thighs snapped shut around his head. He pushed them back open and dove in more vigorously, and Bonnie whimpered.

"Please," she said. But he kept going and he didn't stop until she whispered, "please fuck me."

Damon smiled and finally eased up, but not before kissing her soaked lips a few times. He wiped his mouth and then got up long enough to take off all his clothes. He lowered his body onto Bonnie and rubbed himself against her dripping entrance a few times before he slowly slid inside. She sighed in relief and he buried his head in her neck. Once he was all the way inside, he set a slow, teasing pace that only made her wetter and him harder.

"You feel so good," he said in her ear.

She leaned into him and bit her earlobe as her fingernails trailed up and down his back.

"Tell me how I feel," she whispered.

"So wet," he groaned. "So warm and tight. You squeeze my dick just right."

She grabbed his head and attacked his mouth as her hips pushed up against him, speeding up their rhythm and causing their bodies to fill the room with the sounds of skin smacking. They swallowed each other's moans and he could tell it wasn't going to last long for either of them. He pulled his lips and cock away from her for a second, and turned her onto her side. He slid into the tight space behind her and lifted her leg. He entered her that way, with her back pressed to his front and her front exposed to his gaze and touch. He held onto one of her breasts as he thrusted into her again and again.

"Ah, Damon," she cried. "Right there...right there," she chanted.

He kept stroking her exactly the way she wanted it and for a moment, the sensation was so incredible that he had to close his eyes and think of something else so he didn't lose it before she did. His whole body started to tingle and he wanted nothing more than to spill everything he had inside of her. She reached between her legs and rubbed her clit and when she clenched around him, he knew she was almost there.

"Come for me," he said in her ear as he went harder and deeper. "Come all over me."

"Yes...yes...yessssss!" she screamed, and then her whole body stiffened and her hips jerked repeatedly. Damon watched in awe as he got the side view of her open mouth and closed eyes. She screamed his name and squeezed his dick so tightly that his eyes nearly crossed. He buried his face in her neck and right as her ecstasy was ending, his fangs descended and he bit into their throbbing vein. As soon as the blood gushed into his mouth, he came inside of her with a harsh thrust and a loud groan. Bonnie released a stifled scream and exploded with another orgasm, just like she always did when he bit her.

Damon's hips bucked involuntarily until she had milked him of everything. He groaned and gently removed his fangs from her neck and dropped his face into her hair. They both breathed hard for a while, and then he lifted his head and craned his neck over enough that she could see his face. She looked worn out, but so satisfied. And he was sure she had never seen a more beautiful sight.

"God, I love you," he said.

...

The next morning, Damon was still on a high from Bonnie and therefore insisted on accompanying her when she filled out the paperwork for the study abroad program. He didn't necessarily consider himself a PDA kind of guy, but he just couldn't keep his hands off her as they walked hand-in-hand into the Student Affairs building. He knew that it was partly that sundress she was wearing that showed off her gorgeous figure. He knew that it was partly because they'd had another round of awesome sex before they left the apartment.

But he also knew that his giddiness was mostly due to the fact that he'd told her he loved her. He knew he felt that way for a while. He was pretty sure she knew it, too. But saying it and having it out there made him ridiculously light and happy and he was going to make a habit of saying it all the time.

"You are so sexy," he mumbled against her neck as he wrapped his arms around her from behind and nearly scooped her off the ground.

"Damon!" she squealed. "Put me down."

"I can't. I'm in love with you."

Bonnie laughed and he laughed against her neck. He put her down just enough to let her walk but he was still attached to her, crotch to butt. When they got to the front of the building, Bonnie turned around in his arms and planted a kiss on his lips.

"You have to let me go," she said.

"Not if you keep kissing me like that." He hands slipped to her butt and he squeezed it.

"Baby," she moaned.

"You know I love it when you say that," he said, right before he shoved his tongue into her mouth.

She allowed it for a minute before she put her hands on his chest and pushed a little.

"Okay, okay, this is crazy," she said. "I just need five minutes."

"Too long."

"Five minutes," she begged. She walked her fingers up his chest and grabbed his shirt. "And when we get home, we will spend the entire weekend in bed, doing anything you want."

He raised an eyebrow. "Anything?"

She nodded and he growled. He let her go and pointed to the door. "Get in there before I bend you over the front desk."

Bonnie smiled and then scampered off, and Damon licked his lips as he watched her butt jiggle in that thin material. A shiver went through him and he nearly slapped himself to get a hold of his feelings. He shook it off and found a bench near the building and sat down. He stretched out and closed his eyes, mentally picturing every single dirty thing he was going to do to Bonnie as soon as they closed the door to their apartment. He wondered if she knew any sex magic. If she didn't, he was pretty sure he could teach her some.

His pleasant thoughts were interrupted by a feeling that caused the hair to stand up on his arms and the back of his neck. His eyes popped open and his head snapped to the side, where it felt like some kind presence was. He didn't see anything unusual...just some college kids tossing the frisbee and lying in the grass. He brushed it off and closed his eyes again, but as soon as he did, he felt it again. It felt strange. Like he was being watched. But not just that. It felt...supernatural.

Damon got off the bench and walked in the direction of the sensation, but he found nothing and nobody of interest. He focused his vampire hearing on everyone around him, but there was nothing but mindless young adult chatter. He was so focused on it that he was caught by surprise when Bonnie touched his arm.

"Hey," she said with a smile. He must have jumped before her smile faltered. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he said. "Sorry. I was being nosey and listening to some kids talk about their lame sex." He wrapped an arm around her waist. "Not a problem that we have."

"Definitely not," she said as she circled her arms around his neck. "So I filled out the application. I should get some more information in about a week."

"Perfect. And now I think you owe me some naked time."

An easy smile came over her lips and kissed him softly and teased her tongue inside his mouth. He moaned but she pulled away before it got too good. She twirled some of his hair on her finger and said, "let's go home."

Damon quickly looked over his shoulder one more time, just to be certain that there was nobody there. When he was sure that he had imagined the entire thing, he smirked at her.

"Let's."


	19. Chapter 18

**It's been a while. Real life and all. Trying to get back into the swing of things.**

Chapter 18

Thursdays were "Dinner at Damon's" and on the last Thursday before the start of the fall semester, Damon decided that he would make the famous Salvatore lasagna from scratch. And by "he," he meant Stefan, since his younger brother was the better cook of the two of them. But Damon figured that he could at least spring for the groceries. So he scooped up Bonnie and they hit the grocery store, where he picked out everything Stefan would need to feed their little crew of friends. And by "he," he meant Bonnie, since he was way too distracted kissing her neck and not so discreetly grabbing her butt while she pulled items from the shelves.

"Damon, stop that," she sang.

He knew that she meant to sound annoyed but she actually sounded delighted. He didn't have to see her face to know that she was fighting a smile. He wrapped his arms around her from behind and they walked in lock-step while she pushed the cart and he nuzzled his nose into her neck.

"I can't help that you're hot and have an ass that won't quit," he said.

She turned around and gave him an irritated look, but her mouth quirked up at the corner.

"Focus," she said. "And once our friends are gone tonight, I might do something nice for you."

"I hope this something nice involves you being naked."

"Behave and you'll find out."

Damon held up his hands in surrender and mostly behaved for the next few minutes. He did continue to follow her so closely that his nose was practically glued to her neck, but he knew she liked it because she reached up every now and then and stroked his cheek. He was thinking of all the ways he could have her once their little gathering was over, when he felt it again. That sensation of being watched. He'd felt it a few times since the first incident but he was never able to pinpoint why he was feeling it.

He pulled himself away from Bonnie long enough to look around the grocery store but he didn't see anything out of the ordinary. The feeling stayed with him, though, even as they were checking out. His eyes went to the big windows that showed the parking lot outside, and Damon saw a man in the distance, just standing there. Not going to a car or putting a cart away. Just standing.

"You handle this, Bon," he said as he pulled out his credit card and gave it to Bonnie. "I think I left the lights on in the car."

Before she could open her mouth to ask why that couldn't wait the few minutes for her to finish checking out, he was already walking out of the door. He walked purposefully through the parking lot until the man's face came into clear view. He immediately recognized him as the heretic he'd let get away...Edward or Edgar or Eor or something...and he went on high alert. He sped to the man, grabbed him by the neck and squeezed.

"What the hell are you doing back here?" he demanded.

Edgar held up his hands. "I mean you no harm."

"Then why are you back here?"

"You let me go because I promised that I could bring your friend back. Elena."

At the mention of her name, Damon's whole demeanor changed. His hands dropped from Edgar's neck and he stumbled back like he had been punched. He hadn't thought of her in so long that guilt consumed him when he realized that he'd just forgotten about her. He remembered the conversation from the woods on the night he killed Lily and it all came back to him.

"Elena," he said softly.

"I've lifted the spell," Edgar said proudly. "It wasn't something that I could do by myself. I had to get the help of other witches, but is it done. At no harm to your friend."

Edgar pointed to the store and Damon's gaze went back to where Bonnie was about to walk out of the store with their groceries. He turned back to Edgar to ask questions and try to clear the fog in his head, but the other man simply patted his shoulder and said, "I will consider us even." And then he was gone. Damon didn't have time to make sense of any of it before Bonnie was nearly at his car and he had to pull himself together enough to act normal. He got to the car right before she did and plastered a smile on his face as he opened the trunk.

"Thaaaank you," she said happily as she loaded the items into the back.

He normally would have helped but he was too busy staring at her, wondering what Elena's return would mean for them and for everyone.

"You okay?" Bonnie asked once she had closed the trunk.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he lied.

She put her hands on her hips and cocked her head to the side, and he knew he would have to put on a much better act if he didn't want her asking questions before he had the answers. So he pushed the cart out of the way and grabbed her by the hips. He pulled her against him and planted a long kiss on her lips and when he pulled away, she was smiling.

"What was that for?" she asked.

"Just thinking about how beautiful you are."

Her smile grew even bigger and she hit him on the arm.

"I already told you you're getting laid tonight. You don't have to lay it on thick, you know."

"Thick is the only way I know how to lay it, baby."

He wiggled his eyebrows and she laughed.

"Lame. Now let's get in the car and go before they wonder if we got lost."

Damon was more than happy to do what she said because the car gave him some space to try to think about the news Edgar had just given him. Elena was back. Or she would be back. And Bonnie didn't have to die. At some point, that would have been a dream come true for him. It would have been the best of both worlds. But now...now, given his relationship with Bonnie, he really didn't know what to think.

He was still trying to figure it out as he and Bonnie started cooking in their kitchen. She played some music and popped open a bottle of wine and sang along with her favorite songs, and all he could think about was how much he had grown to love her. As Caroline and Stefan and Matt arrived and took up space in his apartment like they belonged there, he wondered how Elena's return would affect all of them. The five of them had formed their own little group and they had a certain chemistry that might not last if Elena was back.

His thoughts bothered him all night. He hardly heard anything that anyone else said because his mind was too preoccupied. Every time he heard someone walking in the apartment corridor outside, he wondered if it was Elena. He wondered how he would react. His stomach twisted in knots for reasons he wasn't sure he understood, and he wasn't sure that he wanted to.

...

Caroline and Bonnie were at brunch a couple of weeks later, and Caroline was going on and on about something or other and Bonnie was trying her best to keep up. She kept checking her phone, hoping for some kind of message from Damon, but none came.

"Okay, you want to tell me what's going on?" Caroline asked as she cut herself off in the middle of a sentence about her organic chemistry teacher.

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"I mean that you haven't heard a word I've said this whole time."

"That's not true!"

"Okay, then repeat something I said," Caroline challenged.

Bonnie opened her mouth to say something, but in truth, she had no idea what her best friend had been talking about. She sighed.

"I'm sorry, Care, you're right. I'm distracted. Tell me the story again."

"After you tell me what's got your mind so spaced out."

Bonnie sighed again.

"It's Damon. He's been acting weird lately."

"He's always weird," Caroline said with a flip of her hand.

"No, this is more than usual. He's...distracted. I don't know, I can't quite put my finger on it. It's like he's jumpy or something."

Caroline frowned. "Do you think he knows about a threat and doesn't want to tell us yet?"

"I think he would have told me something like that. The way he's acting now, it's like..." She looked down and chipped at her nails, not wanting to say what she really thought.

"It's like...?"

She looked at Caroline and bit her cheek.

"I think Damon is cheating on me."

"What?" Caroline asked, and then she laughed loudly. "Oh yeah right. Damon is a lot of things, Bonnie. He's a jackass and a moron and an irritant and..."

"Caroline."

"Sorry. He's a lot of things, but a cheater isn't one of them. He's the poster child for blind devotion."

"I know that," Bonnie said with a groan. "Logically, I know that. But he's acting so different. He takes his phone with him everywhere he goes, like he's afraid I'll look through it. He's always looking at the door like he's expecting someone to burst through it. He hasn't been as...affectionate...as before."

"If by that, you mean that you're not banging each other's brains out ten times a day anymore, sorry, honey, but eventually that wears off."

"He's distant. And secretive. And I don't know what's wrong with him."

"Have you asked?"

"Of course! Multiple times. He keeps saying it's nothing but I know he's lying."

"So give him an ultimatum," Caroline said with a shrug. "Tell him to come clean or you walk."

"That's kind of drastic, don't you think?"

"No. You're his girlfriend and he's keeping something from you. If it's bad enough that you think he's cheating, you have a right to know. But if you give him that choice, you have to mean it."

Bonnie nodded in half-hearted agreement and spent the rest of the day trying to figure out how to approach the situation. She didn't want to accuse Damon of anything, but she was tired of feeling shut out and pushed away. So she made up her mind that she was going to get the truth out of him that night, no matter what it took. She went into their apartment, nervous about seeing him, but he wasn't there. So she took some time to get herself together and come up with a plan. She talked herself up, ready to have what would probably be an uncomfortable conversation, but after an hour, Damon still wasn't home.

Another hour passed, then another and another, until it was nearly midnight. Bonnie's anxiety turned to anger, and what had seemed an unlikely scenario of him cheating on her suddenly became the only explanation in her mind. She paced in their living room, ready to rip him a new one, when he opened the door. She put her hands on her hips and glared at him, but he didn't seem to notice as he tossed his keys on the counter.

"Hey," he said. "What are you still doing up?"

"Waiting for you," she said with a bite in her tone.

"You didn't have to do that," he said as he pulled his jacket off.

"Where have you been?"

"Out," he shrugged. He kissed her forehead. "I'm going to bed."

Her fury only grew as he started to walk away from her, and even though it was not part of her carefully devised plan to get him to talk to her, she blurted out the question that was burning in her mind.

"Who is she?" she asked.

Damon turned around with a frown. "What? Who?"

"Whoever it is you're cheating on me with."

"Cheating on you? What are you talking about?"

"You tell me, Damon! You've been pushing me away for weeks! You've hardly touched me, you act like someone's watching your every move, and now you come home at midnight without so much as a text to me all day! What am I supposed to think?"

He looked like he was going to argue with her at first, but then he slumped his shoulders and shook his head slowly.

"I'm not cheating on you," he said lowly. "I wouldn't do that."

Despite her anger, she believed him. And her mood improved just a tiny bit. She slumped her shoulders, too, and approached him until she could take his hands in hers.

"Then what is going on? And don't tell me it's nothing but I know that's not true."

Damon rubbed his forehead a few times and looked everywhere but at her.

"I've been out all day," he finally said. "I want to take a shower. Can I do that first, and then we'll talk?"

A new wave of uncertainty spiked in her chest, but she nodded and he pulled away from her. She sat down on the couch and waited for what felt like an hour for him to return, and that wait was so much worse than when she was waiting for him to get home, if that was possible. Her stomach churned and her mind buzzed with questions. When Damon came back, dressed in black pajama pants and a black cotton shirt, he sat down next to her but didn't say anything for a while.

"Damon, please," she said quietly. "You're making me really nervous."

He ran a hand through his wet hair and finally looked at her.

"You know how I told you that all the heretics were gone?" he asked.

She frowned, mostly because that was not the course she was expecting the conversation to take.

"Yeah."

"Well, that's not exactly true. One of them is alive. And he's back in Mystic Falls."

Bonnie sat up straight and almost sighed in relief that Caroline had been right about Damon just not wanting to worry them about a new threat.

"What does he want?" she asked.

"Nothing, actually," he said with a dry laugh. "He only came back to tell me that he'd done something I asked him to do in exchange for me not ripping his head off."

"Okay. And what was that?"

She didn't like the look he got on his face. It was the look when he knew that he had done something wrong.

"I asked him to bring Elena back," he said.

All of the feeling drained out of Bonnie's body and her earlier worries seemed silly in comparison to the thought of having to give Damon to Elena.

"It was before you and I were together," Damon said quickly. "He said he could break the tie between you and Elena without hurting you. I never would have even considered if I thought you could get hurt in the process."

She nodded repeatedly, showing him that she understood even though she wasn't sure that she did. It felt like her whole world had been turned upside down, and on top of that, she felt guilty about not being happy that Elena would be back while she was still alive.

"So that's where you've been," she said, looking down at her hands. "With Elena."

"No," he said immediately. He took her hands but she didn't look at him. "No, I haven't been with Elena. She's not even back yet. She's still in her coffin, locked and sealed away. I've been looking for Edgar, the heretic who claims he undid the spell. For all I know, his spell didn't even work."

"Or maybe it just takes a while. Big spells are like that some times."

"Do you feel any different?"

"No."

"Then it probably didn't work. He was probably just blowing smoke up my ass."

They were both silent for a while, with Damon holding her hands and Bonnie staring at the coffee table.

"What if it did work?" she asked quietly.

She looked at him then and saw an expression that seemed as pained and confused as her own feelings.

"Do you want her back?" she asked.

"Yes," he said. "Of course. Don't you?"

"Yes. And no. Because I know if she comes back, it's over between us."

"That's not true."

"Please," she said with a sad empty laugh. "If she walked through that door right now, you'd be done with me."

"I love you. You know that."

"And I also know that the plan was to love me now and love her when I'm gone. So what happens when we're here at the same time?"

He got up and paced and looked around like he was searching for the answer to that same question. He never gave one, though. And Bonnie knew it was because he either truly didn't know what would happen, or he knew he would pick Elena. Her eyes started to sting with tears but she wiped them before they could spill out. She stood up and straightened her back and talked calmly, like she wasn't about to fall apart.

"I'll have my things out by tomorrow," she said.

"What? No. Bonnie, don't do this. We don't even know if Elena is actually coming back."

"No, we don't. But it doesn't matter anyway. I don't want to be second to her anymore."

Damon gritted his teeth in frustration and took her by the shoulders to make her look at him in the eyes.

"You are not second, okay? You're first. You're here, with me, right now, and that's all that should matter."

Bonnie shook her head and smiled sadly.

"You know, when we first got together, I would have been okay with that," she said. "I knew what I was getting into and I knew I was sharing your heart with her, even if she's not here. But now?" Her eyes filled up again and she tried to wipe the tears but Damon beat her to it. "Now, I'm not okay with it."

She slid out of his hold and went to the bedroom, where she put on a hoodie and grabbed the keys to her apartment. She tried to walk past Damon but he stood in the bedroom doorway.

"Please don't do this," he said. "You're overreacting to something that might not ever happen."

"I don't want to look over my shoulder worrying that Elena will just step back in our lives and you'll go back to her."

She tried to get past him again but he again took her by the shoulders and looked at her with big, pleading eyes.

"What do I have to do to make you stay?" he asked.

Her heart broke for him, almost as much as it broke for herself, because for someone who'd been on the wrong end of a love triangle at least twice, he really didn't seem to get it. Maybe, she realized, because he always settled for the little scraps Katherine and Elena tossed his way. He was content with whatever he got. But she wouldn't be. Not after a lifetime of sacrifice.

"You'd have to tell me that when and if Elena comes back, you'll still choose me. And until you can say that to me and mean it, then I can't be with you. I love you so much, and I won't share you. I'm sorry, Damon."

He finally let her go and she squeezed past him and left the apartment. She let herself into her own apartment and locked herself in her room before Caroline or Stefan could realize she was there. She curled up on her bed, hugged a pillow, and cried. Damon was just down the hall, but it already felt like he was a million miles away. There was a part of her that held out hope that he would burst through her door and declare that his love for her was greater than anything he'd ever felt for Elena.

But he didn't. Not that day or the next one or any of the ones after that. Bonnie knew then that it was over, and she couldn't recall anything hurting so badly.


	20. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

 _September 23, 2014_

 _Dear Elena,_

 _I'm writing to you from Amsterdam. I know that seems completely random but I'm here doing a study abroad program. I was supposed to be here with Damon, kind of a like a learning experience wrapped in a romantic getaway, but we broke up. You're probably wondering what happened between the last time I wrote to you and now. And the truth is that we broke up because of you._

 _I'm sure that sounds crazy, considering that as far as I know, you're still in a coffin. Long story short, one of the heretics claims that he can bring you back to life. I talked about it with Damon and I realized that if you came back while I was still alive, Damon would choose you. On some level, I always knew that. I guess I just blocked it out because I never thought there would be the chance that you and I could exist at the same time again. Maybe this is what I get for moving in on my best friend's boyfriend while you're not around. This is karma, I guess._

 _This will probably be the last time I write to you for a while. I guess I just need some time and space to myself, if that makes sense. If you do come back while I'm still away, then I hope you and Damon are happy together. You deserve happiness. And so does he._

 _Bon_

 ** _..._**

Amsterdam was beautiful and totally unlike what Bonnie thought it would be. She expected some place seedy, with people smoking weed on every corner and prostitutes walking the streets. But the truth was that the city was clean, easy to navigate and very welcoming. At any other time in her life, Bonnie would have enjoyed it immensely. But as she sat in her International Human Rights class and stared out the window while the professor lectured, all she could think about was how much she missed Damon.

They hadn't spoken since she'd walked out of his apartment, and she missed everything about him: the sound of his voice, his smell, his lame jokes. She had picked up her phone more than once to call him, but she always hung up before the phone could even ring. She wondered if he missed her or if he was even thinking of her. For all she knew, Elena was back and the two of them were reuniting, repeatedly. The thought nearly made her cry.

Bonnie was brought out of her depressing thoughts when the professor ended class and there was a chorus of shutting books around her. She gathered up her things and left before everyone else. She was walking out of the door when some rain sprinkles hit her. It had rained every day she'd been there. Not all day, and not a large volume, but it rained at some point every single day so she'd invested in an umbrella. Just as she was trying to get it open, the sprinkles turned into a downpour and she hustled underneath an overhang before she got drenched. She kept trying to get her umbrella open and when she finally succeeded, it turned inside out.

"Guess this is what I guess for buying a cheap one," she muttered to herself.

"Need some help?"

She turned and saw one of her classmates standing with an umbrella that was actually working. He was tall and even in her Damon-induced fog, she could see that he was handsome. He had smooth brown skin and head full of neatly arranged dreadlocks. He was smiling at her, revealing pretty teeth, and he gestured to the rain.

"I could walk you wherever you need to go," he said. "I'd hate to see you get wet."

She almost declined, but when she looked at the rain coming down in buckets, she changed her mind.

"I'd appreciate that. Thank you."

She stepped underneath his big umbrella and they walked together into the elements.

"Bonnie, right?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm Bonnie. And you're Lance?"

"That's me. Short for Lancelot," he said with a chuckle.

Bonnie raised an eyebrow at him. "Your mother named you Lancelot?"

"My mother named me Lancelot. She's a hippie." Bonnie's mouth formed a small smile. "But I like it. It's a conversation starter with beautiful women."

She acknowledged his compliment with a small nod and they walked in silence for a few blocks as they headed back towards the dorms.

"So, where are you from?" Lance asked.

"Mystic Falls, Virginia. You?"

"Bunn, North Carolina," he said with an exaggerated Southern accent. "Ever heard of it?"

"Can't say that I have."

"You're not missing much. There's nothing to do there but get into trouble."

As they continued to walk, Bonnie did more listening than talking. She learned that Lance was an only child, that his dad was a police officer and his mom was a teacher, and that he was in his last year at Duke with hopes of going to law school. He was easy to talk to, and listen to, and it was only then that she realized how much she had isolated herself on what was supposed to be a fun adventure. They were about to walk past a restaurant and her stomach grumbled, probably from skipping breakfast, and on a whim, she stepped in front of Lance to halt his walking.

"Do you want to have lunch with me?" she asked.

His face lit up into a bright smile.

"I'd love to," he said. "And here I thought I was talking your head off."

"You're not," she assured him. "It's nice to talk to somebody."

They walked into the restaurant and were taken to a small table in the back where there was a window with a beautiful view of one of the canals.

"Have you not had people to talk to since you've been here?" Lance asked. When Bonnie gave him a questioning look, he said, "you know, since you said it's nice to talk to somebody."

"Oh." She settled into her seat and shrugged. "I guess I just haven't been very social. I've been kind of going through the motions here instead of enjoying it, and it would be nice to make a friend to hang out with."

He nodded like he understood and said, "you must have left a boyfriend back home or something."

"Kind of," she sighed. "He was supposed to come on this trip with me, like a big romantic kind of thing, but we broke up shortly before I came."

"Hence the sad looks and faraway glances," Lance guessed. "I wanted to introduce myself since the first day I saw you, but you didn't look like you wanted to talk to anybody."

Bonnie grimaced. "I didn't realize it was so obvious."

"So what's this guy's deal? He must be stupid if he let someone like you off the hook."

She cocked her head to the side and asked, "someone like me? This is our first conversation. You don't even know me."

"No, I don't. But I'm a pretty good judge of character and you seem like the kind of woman a guy would be lucky to have."

She half-smiled and accepted a menu as the waiter came by and took their drink orders. Once he was away from their table, she sighed again.

"He's not over his ex," she said.

"I've been there. Sucks, doesn't it?"

"That's probably an understatement."

"Well you know what? You're here in a beautiful city with tons of new people to meet, including me. And if you'd let me, I'd really like to get to know you and take your mind off of him."

She considered it, and although she knew that Lance was hitting on her and she wasn't anywhere near ready to consider dating someone else, it felt nice to be noticed.

"I'm really not looking for anything more than a friend. If you're okay with that, then I'd love to get to know you, too. Does that sound good to you?"

He smiled. "Yeah. It does."

So over the next few weeks, they hung out. In fact, Bonnie was with Lance more than she was with anyone else. They walked to class together in the mornings and hardly separated until they were back in their dorm for the night. Lance had stayed over late a few times as they watched movies, and every now and then, Bonnie actually didn't feel depressed over Damon. She was in one of her better moods when she opened her computer and called Caroline for some face-to-face time.

"Hey!" Caroline said excitedly. "You look great! How's it going?"

"Good," Bonnie said with a big smile. "I'm feeling better than I have been."

"I can tell from that grin on your face." Caroline narrowed her eyes and looked around Bonnie's room as much as she could from the screen. "What's with the luggage? Are you going somewhere?"

"Yeah. We have a long weekend break from class and a friend and I are going to catch a train to Paris."

"A friend, huh?" Caroline smiled slyly. "Girl friend or guy friend?"

"Guy friend," Bonnie admitted, even though she hated to because she knew Caroline would run wild with that information.

"Good for you. You should be having fun over there and not moping around. Is this guy friend of yours hot?"

"He is, but it's not like that. We're just friends and we're staying in separate rooms when we get there." Caroline rolled her eyes in response and Bonnie's smile faltered a little when she looked down at her nails and picked at them. "How is Damon?"

"I wouldn't know," was the flippant response. "He broke his lease from the apartment and I haven't seen him since. Stefan's talked to him a couple of times. He says Damon always sounds drunk, but that's not exactly new for him. He's probably stumbling from city to city, killing people and feeling sorry for himself."

Bonnie eyed her friend with displeasure. "As I recall, you were all for me and Damon being together and now you act like you hate him again."

"I was all for you _being happy_ , Bonnie, even if that meant being with Damon. He doesn't make you happy anymore so now I want you to move on to someone who does."

"He does make me happy," she defended automatically. "Well...he did."

"Yeah, and was that before or after you realized he was still in love with Elena?"

Bonnie knew that Caroline regretted the question as soon as she said it because she got that big-eyed guilty look on her face. She opened her mouth to apologize but Bonnie held up her hand to stop her.

"You're right," she said softly. "Anyway, I need to go. We're leaving soon."

Caroline opened her mouth again, probably to attempt to say she was sorry, but decided against it and said, "call me when you get there?" Bonnie promised that she would and after they hung up, she tucked her laptop inside. She grabbed her duffel bag and when she opened her door, Lance was just leaving his own room. He smiled brightly at her and asked, "ready?" And then they were off.

They caught a train to Paris and spent the whole ride talking about their lives, learning things about each other that they hadn't shared in the first few weeks of their acquaintance. Their talking made the ride fly by and after they were in the city of love, they stuck close together and navigated their way to the hostel that would be their home for the next couple of days. The rooms were right next to each other, small and nothing fancy but with a great view of the Eiffel Tower in the backdrop. They left their luggage, hit the streets and jumped on the first tour they could find that took them all around the city. When the tour ended and the night wound down, they found themselves on the grass right in front of the Eiffel Tower, laid on their backs and looking up at the magnificent structure.

"Now this is the life, isn't it?" Lance asked as he turned his head to look at Bonnie.

"It really is," she said, mirroring his position. "I can see why they call this the city of love. Being here with someone you care about...you could get swept up in all of it."

He nodded slowly and then propped himself up on one elbow so he could see her better.

"Do you wish he was here with you instead of me?"

"What? No, no, not at all," she said quickly. "I'm really enjoying my time with you. You've been such a great friend and being here with you is great."

He half-smiled and plucked a piece of grass from her hair.

"But?" he asked.

"But...?"

"You miss him."

Bonnie's head rolled back so that she was staring up at the Tower, which was lit up against the night sky.

"Yes, I miss him."

"What's he like?" She looked at him with a questioning eye, silently asking him if he really wanted to know. "I mean, you never talk about the guy other than a short comment here or there. It's always good to know a little about the competition."

He gave her a cute, innocent smile and Bonnie chuckled before she shook her head and sighed.

"He's...I don't know. I can honestly he's not the kind of guy I ever thought I would end up with. I always went for the safe ones before him, you know? Nice, quiet, nothing too exciting. He's the total opposite of that. He's loud and demonstrative and a jackass half of the time. But then he's also really sweet and funny and loyal."

"So what's the problem? You mentioned something about an ex before you never went into any detail."

"He's not over his ex." She turned her head to him and smiled impishly. "And his ex just happens to be one of my best friends."

Lance's eyes widened and he grimaced. "Oh."

"Yeah, it's a big mess. But it's not like I ever pursued him while he was with her. I didn't. I don't think I even knew I liked him back then. But then she left, he and I got even closer, and it just kind of happened."

"And now she's back?"

Bonnie made a face. "Something like that."

"You're being pretty vague."

"Trust me, the details would make your head explode." She propped herself up on her elbow again and watched some of the couples walking by. "I love him," she says. "And I know he loves me. But this whole thing with Elena is just too much to ignore, and I don't feel like I should have to worry about my place in my own relationship. I want to be secure that I'm the one he wants, you know?"

"Of course. And that's how you should feel. And just so you know, there are plenty of other funny, loyal and sweet guys out there that would love to have you as their girlfriend. I can think of one in particular."

He smiled, and Bonnie smiled softly but shook her head.

"You know I'm not ready for anything," she said.

"I know. And I'm not trying to pressure you. I'm just saying that whenever you are over him, I'd treat you like a queen."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"That's all I ask."

They lay on their backs again and spent the next couple of hours staring up at the Tower, talking and laughing. When they finally decided to call it a night, they walked back to their rooms and each stood by their door.

"You up for a lot of walking tomorrow?" Lance asked. "I saw another tour that looked cool if you're interested."

"I am."

"Okay. I'll come get you in the morning."

"Sounds like a plan. Good night."

"Night."

Bonnie let herself into her room and momentarily plopped down on her bed. She looked out the window at the Eiffel Tower, which was still lit up in all its glory. She briefly thought about what it would be like to be in Paris with Damon but she banished that almost as soon as it entered her brain. Instead, she let herself wonder about how much fun she would have with Caroline, drinking wine and shopping and hunting for French hotties. The thought made her laugh, and she was still chuckling as she disrobed and stepped into the shower.

As the water ran down her body, she could almost hear Caroline in her ear, telling her to forget Damon and have fun with Lance, even if that's all it was. _You only live once, Bon,_ she would say. _Go next door and ride him like a stallion!_ Bonnie was a little ashamed to admit to herself that she was entertaining that idea, if for no other reason than to actually do something wild for once in her life. She was wrapping the towel around her body after the shower when there was a knock on her door, and her heart leapt into her throat thinking that it was Lance.

What if he had come to proposition her? She had no idea what she would say and the thought of sleeping with him suddenly didn't seem as appealing as when she was having an imaginary conversation with Caroline.

"Uh, hold on," she called.

She looked through her bag and found some shorts and a top to throw on, and she was still trying to come up with what she would say to him when she opened the door.

"Look, Lance..." she started.

Only, it wasn't Lance. It was Damon.

"Hello, Bon-Bon," he said. "Did you miss me?"


	21. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Bonnie's heart leapt into her throat as she and Damon stared at each other, her with a look of surprise and him with that smug grin of his. She couldn't help but notice how good he looked, with his short haircut and five o'clock shadow. She could smell him from where she stood and an overwhelming feeling of missing him washed through her, even though he was standing right in front of her.

"What are you doing here?" she asked after a long period of silence.

He pushed himself off the door frame and said, "I figured it was time we ended our stalemate."

He walked past her and Bonnie turned and watched him take off his leather jacket. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she shut her door.

"Stalemate?" she asked. "This isn't stalemate. We broke up."

"Yes, because you were concerned about something that hadn't even happened. And just so you know, it still hasn't. Elena is in her coffin, undisturbed and not awake. That heretic was full of shit because his spell didn't work."

"Yet," she reminded him as she folded her arms. "That doesn't mean it won't."

"But it hasn't, so why are we wasting time being broken up over a non-issue?" He looked at her with a smile, like they were just having some little spat. He put his boot on the edge of her bed and frowned at the mattress.

"This place is a dump," he said. "Lucky for you I booked us a couple of nights at the most expensive hotel in Paris, complete with hot tub." He wiggled his eyebrows at her and gestured towards her bag. "Come on, let's get the hell out of here."

Bonnie just blinked her eyes a few times in disbelief.

"I'm not going with you," she said.

Damon rolled his eyes. "Oh come on, don't tell me want to stay here. That bed's hardly big enough for you, much less the two of us."

"The two of us?" she asked with wide eyes. She shook her head repeatedly. "What are you talking about? We aren't together anymore. I'm not sleeping in the bed with you or going with you to a hotel or any of that."

He gave her that look he did when he thought she was being ridiculous but she knew she was being perfectly reasonable.

"Are you still mad about the Elena thing? Didn't you hear me say that she's not back?"

"Are you serious right now?" she asked, and her voice climbed with every subsequent word. "I told you before that Elena being back doesn't even matter anymore. It's the fact that you would leave me for her that's the problem."

"I never said that!" His loud voice nearly matched hers. "You said it!"

"Well you sure as hell didn't refute it!"

"What do you want from me, Bonnie?" he screamed. "I gave you some time away to think and be alone. I'm here to try to win you back and you act like nothing's changed."

"Nothing _has_ changed."

"I love you and you love me. Why isn't that good enough?"

"Because you're also in love with someone else!"

He opened his mouth to argue, but they both stopped when there was a soft knock on the door. Bonnie's head whipped around and she snapped, "what?" at the knocker.

"Uh, Bonnie," Lance said through the door. "Are you okay? I can hear a lot of shouting."

"Who is that?" Damon asked.

"None of your business."

She should have known he would take that as a challenge because he marched past her and swung the door open. His face twisted into a sneer when he looked at Lance.

"Who the hell are you?" he asked.

Lance puffed out his chest and stood straight, showing that he was about three inches taller than Damon.

"I'm Bonnie's friend. And you?"

"Damon. I'm sure you've heard of me."

"Yeah, I have. And none of it was good."

Bonnie felt a headache starting to form behind her eyes and she wondered how long it would take for them to just pull down their pants and have a measuring contest.

"Go back to your room," Damon said. "Before I do something regrettable."

"You're threatening me? Pretty sure I could take you."

"Pretty sure you couldn't."

"Oh yeah? I'm a third degree black belt."

"Good to know, Bruce LeRoy. I'll keep that in mind in case I run into some ninjas."

Lance balled up his fists and Bonnie slid in between the two of them before he got himself hurt.

"Lance, I'm fine. I can handle this."

He stared hard at Damon and then gave Bonnie a softer glance.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"I'm positive. We'll try to keep it down and I'll see you in the morning, okay?"

He hesitated but then turned to leave. He gave Damon one last stare and Bonnie shut the door. She pushed Damon back inside and groaned.

"If you came here to ruin my trip, you're doing an excellent job."

"No, that's not why I came here but I didn't know I was going to have to deal with some idiot who thinks he's your knight in shining armor."

"He's a friend who's concerned about me. It's called being a gentleman."

"Oh please. He's just waiting for you to get lonely enough to spread your legs for him. I, being your _actual_ knight in shining armor, am here to save you from that fate."

"Damon," Bonnie sighed. She rubbed her head and then pointed to the door. "Please go. I'm tired and I'm supposed to be here having a good time, not thinking about you. Your being here makes that difficult."

"Come on," he groaned. He walked back to her and put his hands on her hips, even when she tried to wiggle away from him. "You know we're great together. Don't act like you want it to be over."

"That's not what I want."

"Then stop all this and be with me."

"I can't." She looked him in the eyes so he would really hear her for once. "I can't do this."

"What do you want me to do, Bonnie? I can't just stop loving her like that," he said, and he snapped his finger.

"I'm not asking you to."

"Then what are you asking me to do?"

She brought her hands up and encased his cheeks.

"I want you to let me go," she said quietly. His eyes narrowed and his jaw clenched. "You can't give me all of your heart right now and it's not fair to me. Or you. Or Elena. Or anyone involved."

"So that's it," he said, irritated. "You're just going to throw us away like that."

"I'm not throwing us away. I'm trying to save what I can of our relationship so maybe one day, we can be friends again."

Damon squeezed her hips a little and she expected him to argue with her. But he didn't. Instead, he grabbed his jacket and left the room, and Bonnie couldn't help but feel like he was leaving for good. She knew it was for the best but that didn't make it hurt any less. She curled up on her bed and fell into a fitful sleep all night. When morning came, she got ready and met Lance downstairs, where he had just sat down at a small table for breakfast. When he saw her, his eyes widened with worry.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, fine," she lied.

She sat down without getting any food and he pushed his plate to her but she shook her head.

"Not hungry."

"Okay." He started to eat but his silence didn't last long. "So late night. That was Damon, huh?"

"Yep," she said with a sigh.

"He's kind of a jerk."

Her laugh was empty. "Yeah."

"I'm sorry, we don't have to talk about it."

She nodded, thankful for him dropping it, but once he started talking about something else, her mind drifted off to Damon. The smell of his leather jacket was still fresh in her nose. She'd had to fight herself not to hug him when he put his hands on her hips. There was a part of her that ached to just give in to him like he wanted her to do, but she knew she had to stand strong. She wasn't going to be second best to anyone else ever again, especially not when it came to her love life.

"Bonnie," Lance said, and she snapped out her thoughts. She smiled sheepishly at him.

"I'm sorry. I zoned out."

"Yeah, I noticed." He wiped his mouth and leaned a little further across the table. "You want to talk about it?"

"No. Yes. I don't know."

"I'm willing to listen, you know. No judgment."

"Ugh, he's just such an asshole," she grumbled. "I was doing okay and then he had to show up, smelling good and looking good and making me want him. I feel so weak."

"You're definitely not weak. You kicked him out, didn't you?"

"Yeah, but knowing Damon, he'll be back. If not tonight, then tomorrow, or maybe he's just hiding out in my room in Amsterdam."

She didn't notice the disturbed face that Lance made.

"Do you want to stay with me tonight?" he offered. "No funny business or anything, just sleeping."

"Oh, God no," she groaned. When she saw his hurt expression, she quickly added, "not that I don't want to spend time with you. I do. I just...if Damon is still around and I'm staying in your room, he will hit the roof and I'd really like for him not to kill the one person I've connected with on this trip."

Lance frowned and then scooted a little over the table and spoke lowly.

"Uh, Bonnie, I'm sorry if this offends you, but are you in an abusive relationship with Damon?"

Her eyes nearly popped out of her head in shock.

"What? No! Why would you ask me that?"

"Well, I mean, the guy shows up in Paris and hasn't talked to you in two months. Who does that? And then you just said he'd show up in your room, so he sounds like a stalker. And now you're worried that he'll kill me. And to be honest with you, you looked kind of scared last night."

It took Bonnie a moment to wrap her head around all of that, but when she did, she reached over and took his hands.

"Damon does not abuse me," she said seriously. "Okay? We have a volatile relationship."

"Yeah, I gathered that."

"But it's not abusive. He..." She tried to think of the right way to describe him without using the words "vampire with a hair trigger temper." "You'd have to know him to understand what I mean when I talk about him. He's not a stalker but he is kind of rich so he can fly here to see me on short notice. I'm sure my best friend told her boyfriend who just happens to be Damon's brother, and when he found out I was here with you, he showed up to try to work things out."

"And are you?" he asked. "Going to work things out?"

"The way things stand now, no."

He nodded and smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry for jumping to conclusions."

"You don't have to apologize. I might think the same thing if I didn't know the situation."

"Well how about this?" He slid his hands out of hers so that his were on top and he gave them a gentle squeeze. "Can we just enjoy the rest of our weekend here, Damon-free? No talking about him, no thinking about him, and hopefully no surprise visits from him. Just you and me and a good time."

Bonnie smiled genuinely and agreed.

"I'd like that."

They spent the rest of the weekend together and Bonnie did a decent job of not thinking about Damon. He didn't show up at her hotel room again, and he didn't show up in Amsterdam, either. She was surprised at how disappointed she was, considering she was the one who told him to back off. She wondered why he chose that time to actually start listening to her.

The rest of her time in Amsterdam was spent trying to enjoy her surroundings and getting to know Lance better. By the time the program was over and they were heading back home, the two of them were basically inseparable. They even sat together on the flight to New York, where they each had to connect to flights to their respective homes. They stood in one of the terminals, about to go their own ways, and Lance took a big breath and smiled.

"So, I guess this is it, huh?"

"It's not it," she promised. "We'll call and text and see each other when we can. We don't live that far apart."

"I guess not, but it is the end of seeing you every day, which I've gotten pretty used to. I don't recall any of the girls at Duke being as pretty and fun to talk to as you."

Bonnie blushed a little and readjusted the bag on her shoulder.

"I'll miss you, too," she said.

"Now boarding Flight 212 to Raleigh-Durham," one of the desk attendants announced.

"That's me," Lance said. "You promise you'll call me? Let me know you made it home safely?"

"I promise."

"It was really great getting to know you, Bonnie. I hope you have a good holiday break."

"You too."

He smiled and turned to walk away, but Bonnie called out to him before he could get too far.

"Hey Lance," she said. He turned and looked at her expectantly. "Caroline throws a big New Year's party every year and it's usually pretty fun. And since I don't have a date this time...do you want to come with me?"

His smiled widened. "I'd love to."

"Ok, great. So we'll talk later to figure out the details?"

"Absolutely."

They smiled at each other until another announcement for his flight caught their attention. He went his way and Bonnie went hers and she felt proud of herself for attempting to move on. When she landed back home in Virginia, Caroline was waiting for her at baggage claim and the blonde threw her arms around Bonnie's neck.

"Oh my God, Bon, you look amazing!" she said as Bonnie laughed at her exuberance and hugged her in return.

"Thanks, Care. So do you."

"I look like the same old boring person but you look like you've been abroad, doing sexy things with a sexy man."

She wiggled her eyebrows and Bonnie rolled her eyes even though she was smiling.

"I see you're still insane."

"Tell me everything and don't leave out a single detail."

Caroline looped her arms in Bonnie's and after they had all the luggage and were loaded into the car, Bonnie recounted the things that she hadn't already told Caroline about, which wasn't really that much.

"Soooo, when you guys said your goodbyes, did you kiss him?" Caroline asked.

"No." Caroline's face dropped, so Bonnie quickly added, "but I did invite him to your New Year's bash."

That earned a big grin, which quickly soured into a frown.

"What?" Bonnie asked.

"Just one thing. We're having the party at the boarding house this year."

Bonnie's brain immediately shot to Damon, and she frowned, too.

"Oh. I guess I need to un-invite him then. I don't want to cause any drama."

"You know what? It'll be fine," Caroline said. "Damon's hardly been around. In fact, I haven't seen him in weeks. I doubt he'll be back for the party because he's a grump and he hates those parties anyway."

Bonnie wasn't completely convinced but she didn't want to tell Lance not to come, so she hoped that Damon kept his distance. She spent Christmas with her mom and when New Year's Eve came around, she and Caroline crashed at the boarding house so Caroline could orchestrate the setup of the party and so Bonnie could be there to help. As people started arriving, Bonnie went upstairs to get ready and she felt butterflies collecting in her stomach. Lance was in town and he'd brought his best friend, and the two of them were staying at a hotel in town. She was nervous to see him but excited, too, and when she put the finishing touches on her makeup, she looked at herself in the mirror and smiled.

She looked good, if she did say so herself. She'd done her hair in a swoop bang which complemented her face, and the red dress she'd picked was doing all kinds of favors for her body, especially in the butt department. She was just putting her shoes on when Caroline walked in, and her friend grinned in approval.

"You look really hot," Caroline said.

"Thanks. So do you."

"And I was coming to tell you that your boyfriend is here," she sang. "And looking quite dapper."

"He's not my boyfriend," Bonnie told her with a playful nudge as they started to walk down the steps together.

"Not yet anyway." She steered Bonnie's shoulders in Lance's direction and said her ear, "go get him."

Bonnie didn't move at first, mostly because she was trying to take in how handsome he looked. His hair was neat, as always, and he was wearing black pants and a grey dress shirt and black tie. He caught eyes with her and they smiled at each other from across the room. He said something to his friend and then walked over.

"Wow," he said. "You look completely stunning."

"And you don't look so bad yourself."

He opened his arms for a hug, which he happily accepted, and she leaned up and kissed his cheek.

"I'm glad you could come," she said.

"Not nearly as glad as I am," he promised.

His hand fell to hers and she was surprised by how natural it felt when their fingers intertwined.

"I hope you don't mind that I brought my roommate," he said. "His folks are all the way in California and he would have been by himself."

"I don't mind at all. I think it's really sweet that you brought him."

"You want a drink or something?" he asked.

"Yeah, let's go."

They got some drinks from the bartender who'd been set up in one of the rooms and spent a little while chatting with Lance's friend. After a couple of drinks, Bonnie took Lance's hand and led him back to the living room, where the DJ was set up and was starting to play the kind of music that Bonnie liked.

"Fair warning," Lance shouted over the music, "I'm not that great a dancer."

"That's okay. I'll do all the work," she said with a laugh.

They found a spot to dance amidst all the other bodies in the room and at first, they kept it simple by moving back and forth while they faced each other. Once Bonnie really started feeling the drinks, though, she felt a little bolder. She put his hands on her hips and turned so that her back was pressing into his front. He leaned down until his lips were near her ear and she shivered a little at the closeness.

"God, you're beautiful," he said.

A warm smile came over her lips and she turned her head just enough that they were looking at each other.

"Yeah?"

He nodded and something about the way his eyes rounded made him look a little shy, and it was a total turn-on. Bonnie's eyes dropped to his lips and she knew she was going to kiss him. She was seriously contemplating doing a lot more than that, especially considering that she didn't have to drive anywhere and she could just take him upstairs to the extra bedroom where she was spending the night.

"Are you gonna kiss me at midnight?" she asked.

His hands squeezed her hips a little and he said, "if I make it that long."

Her smile grew and she decided to throw caution into the wind. She leaned in to kiss him but right before their lips touched, something stopped her. It was a feeling she got like she was being watched. Even among all those people, she could practically feel eyes burning a hole into her. She pulled back and looked around, and her heart dropped into her shoes when she saw Damon leaning against the wall, looking at her with fire in his eyes, and she knew that if looks could kill, she would have been dead.

Things were about to get ugly.


	22. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

It felt like time stood still as Damon stared at Bonnie with more fury that she had ever seen before, and considering his temper, that was saying a lot. When he didn't move from his space on the wall, she thought that maybe he would take the high road for once and go skulking off to lick his wounds. Of course, that's not what he did. He pushed off the wall and walked towards Bonnie and Lance, and she distanced herself from Lance and then turned around and tried to push him away from her.

"What are you doing?" he asked. "Bonnie, what..."

She jerked her head to the approaching Damon and said, "you need to leave. Now."

But instead of leaving, Lance stood up straighter and squared his shoulders back like he was ready to fight. Bonnie didn't have time to stress that he really needed to leave before Damon was on them. And there was no warning or preamble before Damon pushed Lance so hard that he flew into the wall. Everyone around them turned around to see what was going on, and Damon didn't give him a chance to recover before he was on him. He grabbed him by the throat and slid him up the wall.

"Get out of my house before I break your fingers off and shove them all up your ass at the same time," he said with a growl.

"Damon!"

Her shriek did absolutely nothing to stop him and he squeezed Lance's throat until Lance's face started turning blue. Bonnie wanted to force him to stop but she couldn't bust out her magic in the middle of a party. Luckily for her and Lance, the commotion of it all drew Stefan's attention and he raced over and grabbed his brother's arms and yanked him off Lance.

"Calm down!" he said repeatedly. "Back off, Damon!"

But Damon looked like a man possessed and he tossed Stefan off and went after Lance again. That time, Bonnie was able to insert herself between them before Damon could get his hands on him. She put her hands on his chest and tried to push him back.

"Please stop," she begged. He tried to get around her but she kept her hands on him and said, "please don't hurt him."

"Hurt him?" he asked with wide crazy eyes. "I'm gonna kill him."

That's when Lance got some of his breath back and he stumbled on to his feet and got so close to Damon that his front was against Bonnie's back and the two men were nose to nose above her head.

"Are you crazy?" Lance screamed. "You think you can just put your hands on me and get away with it?"

"I'll do whatever the hell I want to you," Damon told him.

Lance balled up his fist and swung, but Damon caught the hand and held it so tight that Bonnie was afraid that all the bones would break.

"Stop!" she yelled. "Both of you!" She grabbed Damon's face and made him look at her. "If you don't stop this right now, I swear I'll never forgive you."

Something in his eyes eyes seemed to click into place. He gritted his teeth and clenched his jaws, but then he backed away with his hands up. Bonnie sighed in relief and Stefan managed to convince people that the fight was over and they should get back to partying. Bonnie was about to make sure that Lance was okay, when Damon sped up to him again, grabbed him by the throat and held him up in the air.

"Get out of my house," he said, compelling Lance, "and forget you ever knew Bonnie."

With that, he let him go. Lance looked dazed for a second and when he came to, he looked at Bonnie like she was a stranger.

"Uh, I should get out of here," he said to her.

And then he was gone, out of her life, all because of Damon's jealousy. She spun around, ready to spit nails, and Damon only smirked at her. He turned on his heels and grabbed a bottle of bourbon before he disappeared upstairs. Bonnie just stood where she was for a moment because it took her that long to be sure that he had just done what she thought he did. She was vaguely aware of Caroline appearing next to her, asking if she was okay, but her mind was on Damon and all the ways that she could kill him. So she stomped away from the dancing and festivities and up to his room. She found him sitting on his bed, legs crossed, sipping bourbon. She slammed the door behind her and barely contained her rage.

"Who the hell do you think you are, Damon?" she asked in a low, dangerous voice.

His response was to sip his bourbon.

"You had no right to compel him to forget me," she said.

"I had no right?" he asked. He uncrossed his legs and slowly got off the bed. "No, you had no right, Bonnie. You had no right to bring another man into my house and grind your ass on him in front of me. Wearing _that_."

He spat the words at her like he was disgusted, and even though she was furious with him, she tried to temper her own anger and see it from his perspective.

"If I had known you were going to be here, I wouldn't have invited him."

"You didn't think I was going to be in my own house?" he asked. "You couldn't come up with a better lie than that?"

"It's true! I invited him before I knew the party was going to be here and after I found out, Caroline told me you probably wouldn't come."

"Oh, that makes it okay," he said sarcastically. "And what were you gonna do if I wasn't here? Grind your ass on him all night and then fuck him in my bed?"

"No!" she screamed.

Damon sized her up for a moment and then took a long swig of his bourbon.

"Are you fucking him?" he asked.

Bonnie's face warmed in embarrassment and rage.

"What I do with him or anyone else is none of your business anymore."

"Yeah? And whose fault is that?"

"Yours!"

"Mine?" he yelled back. "You're the one who broke up with me!"

"Because you're in love with someone else!"

"Oh, cut the bullshit, Bonnie!" He slammed his bourbon on the nightstand. "Yeah, I still have feelings for Elena. I'm sorry. If I could rid of them, I would, but it doesn't work like that. Sometimes love is messy and people love more than one person at a time. It's called real life. Get your head out of all the Disney princess movies and wake up."

"Do you even hear yourself right now? Do you know how pathetic and sad you sound? You're so used to sharing yourself with other people that you don't even realize that love is not supposed to work that way. So if wanting someone who loves me and only me means that I've watched too many Disney movies, then so be it. But that's what I want and deserve, and if you can't give to me, then I'll wait for someone who can."

His jaws clenched and his nostrils flared. They stared at each other until he grabbed the bottle of bourbon and threw it against a side wall. Bonnie flinched.

"I wasn't trying to hurt you," she said after a few minutes of silence. "I think you know me well enough to know that. But I can't just sit around and wait for you, either. We can't keep having this same conversation because my opinion won't change. I won't be a substitute for Elena."

She waited for him to say something in response, but when he didn't, she turned to leave. She had just opened the door when he zoomed up behind her and shut it again by placing his hand on the wood and slamming it closed.

"One time, Bonnie," he said, way too close to her ear. "I want to know one time that I treated you like a substitute. And then I'll let you leave."

"You'll _let_ me?" she huffed. But her voice was much weaker than she wanted and she suspected that he knew his proximity was throwing her off. It didn't help when he brought his other hand up to the other side of her head and boxed her in.

"That's right. I'll let you."

"Have you forgotten that I can scramble your brains and set you on fire?"

"No, I haven't."

Her threat clearly did nothing to deter him because she felt him move closer, so that the front of his body was just a whisper behind the back of hers and he leaned down so that his mouth was practically on her ear.

"I'm waiting," he said lowly. "One example, and you can leave."

She really was trying to think of something, but her brainpower was devoted exclusively to trying not to get aroused. He was closer to her than he had been in months, and he smelled too good.

"I can't think right now," she blurted out.

"Then I'll help you."

She wasn't sure what he meant by that and before she could ask, his lips were near her ear again.

"Did you feel like a substitute when we made dinner together?" he asked, and she tried very hard to ignore the pulse between her legs. "Or when we were hanging out together, just talking?" He brought one hand off the wood and trailed a pale finger down her bare arm. "When I brought you breakfast in bed? Is that when you felt like a substitute?"

Bonnie swallowed and she knew that she had about five seconds to get away from him before she made a mistake.

"Oh, wait, I know," Damon said, and then his nose was on her neck and he was nipping at her skin. "It must have been when I was worshipping your pussy with my mouth."

Her eyes fluttered closed and she swallowed hard when he pressed himself against her and she felt his erection poking her in the back.

"When I'm with you," he started, and then he nibbled along the back of her neck until he reached her other ear, "I'm only thinking of you."

"Damon," she warned.

"If you're trying not to have mind-melting sex with me, saying my name like that won't help."

"We shouldn't do this."

That's when he took her by the hips and turned her around. He pressed her against the door and pressed himself into her front, and as much as she didn't want them to, her eyes nearly crossed at how good it felt for him to push into her right where she needed it. She tried to look everywhere but at him, but he tipped her chin up and their eyes met. He looked so pretty, and so vulnerable, and she had no defenses when he slowly leaned down to her. He was giving her a chance to stop it, but she didn't.

Not when his lips kissed hers. Not when his tongue slid into her mouth. And not when his hands dropped to her butt and he grabbed it. That's when she moaned, and that's when any attempts to act like she wasn't going to participate flew out the window. She rationalized in her own head that they hadn't had breakup sex, and she owed it to herself to get some. So she caressed his tongue with hers and sank her hands into his hair. When she scratched his scalp and he moaned, all bets were off.

They devoured each other's lips and tongue and when Bonnie's mouth was practically swollen from all the kisses, Damon switched his attention to her neck. He tried to pick her up and wrap her legs around him but her dress was too tight. So he pulled away from her and grabbed the material at the top of her dress. Without any warning, he ripped it right down the middle until it was hanging open and exposing bare breasts and soaked, skimpy underwear.

"Fuck," he groaned.

The hungry look in his eyes only made her wetter, and then he was on her again. He palmed her breasts and ate her lips. He picked her up and her legs wrapped around his waist. He started grinding himself on her and a loud, long moan escaped her mouth.

"I want you so bad," he whispered. "Do you want me too?"

Bonnie didn't want to answer. She was already making a mistake and she didn't want to make it worse by confessing how much she really did want him and all the things she would have let him do to her if he wanted. When she didn't answer, he held her hips in place and very slowly stroked his straining erection against her clit. The sensation nearly made her come right then and there.

"Do. You. Want. Me?" he asked, and he punctuated each word with a thrust.

She still didn't answer, so he stopped rocking against her right when she was about to lose it. She glared at him.

"Don't you dare," she warned.

"Say you want me."

"I think you know that I do," she said, her voice mixed with desire and irritation.

He gripped her ass tighter, which pushed her back into his erection and a long needy moan fell out of her mouth.

"Say it," he demanded.

Damon had that kind of dangerous look in his eyes that Bonnie would never admit that she always found very sexy. He looked like he might lose his shit and she was ashamed at how much it turned her on.

"I want you," she said breathily.

His eyes clouded with even more lust than before and he directed, "keep your legs around my waist."

She tried to lean in to kiss him but he backed away. Their eyes stared in each other while she tightened the leglock around his waist and he went to work on his pants. He got his belt unbuckled and the zipper down, and then the jeans went south, too. He was still staring at her with that intense blue gaze when he hooked his fingers into each side of her panties and ripped the flimsy little thing off of her like it was made of paper. When he rubbed the head of his shaft between her legs, Bonnie's eyes fluttered shut.

"Oh my God," she groaned.

She expected him to tease her like that for while, stroking her swollen clit until she begged for it. So she was surprised when, while he was still standing and she was wrapped around him, he slid his dick inside of her.

"Oh...shit!" she cried.

"You feel amazing," Damon said.

He buried his face in her neck and kissed her skin while he slowly worked his hips up and down as much as he could in that position. They were so close that his body was rubbing against her her clit and every stroke hit her spot.

"Ugh, God, Damon," she moaned. She was embarrassingly close to coming already. She hadn't had sex since the last time they were together and it felt so incredible that she was having a hard time keeping the orgasm at bay. He must have known that because he sucked her earlobe and encouraged her to let go.

"You feel so good, baby," he groaned in her ear. "And you're squeezing me so tight. You're gonna come for me, aren't you?"

"Yessss," she hissed.

"Then do it, baby. Come for me. Scream my name."

He sucked her neck and all the stimulation and his words just got to be too much for Bonnie. She cried out, moaning and cursing and begging him to keep hitting it just like that, until she couldn't fight it off anymore. An orgasm ripped through her and her head snapped back when she came.

"Ugh, yes! Yes! Oh, God, Damon...don't stop!" she screamed.

He kept working his hips through her climax until she came down, and then he slowly pulled himself out of her. He turned them around and walked to the bed until he was close enough to lay her down on it. She felt dazed by the power of her orgasm and she could only watch while he stood in front of the bed and stripped of his clothes. His rock hard erection was pointing towards her and he climbed on to the bed on his knees until he was hovering over her. He leaned down and kissed her and then gently settled himself between her spread legs. He slipped his tongue into her mouth at the same time that he slipped his dick inside of her, and she was overcome with want all over again.

Damon was slow. Excruciatingly slow. He worked her up like a wind-up toy with his deep thrusts that threatened to pull another orgasm out of her before he could even get a good rhythm going. She felt crazy with lust for him and she grabbed his face and kissed him. Her tongue snaked around his mouth in an effort to get him back for the wicked things he was doing to her body. They went on like that for as long as Bonnie could stand it, teasing and torturing each other with licks and bites and sucks.

When that feeling starting to build up in Bonnie again, the one that told her she was going to explode soon, she stopped kissing Damon long enough to whisper, "I'm gonna come."

"I can feel it, baby," he groaned. "The way you're squeezing me. You drive me crazy." He licked down her neck and tasted the sweat that had started to build up on her skin. "Scream my name again, just like you did before. Scream it loud so everybody in this house knows exactly what I'm doing to you."

For that brief second, Bonnie did recall that there were other people in the house. Vampires, including Caroline. And for one fleeting second, she realized that maybe she didn't want her best friend to know that she was letting her ex-boyfriend screw the living hell out of her. So when the tingle started up again and her climax was just about to take her over, she leaned into Damon's neck and bit him to muffle the sounds of her screams.

"Ugh!" Damon moaned.

He returned the favor by biting her neck, too, and the feeling of his teeth sinking into her skin was enough to send her over the edge. Way over. She hadn't forgotten how it felt for him to drink from her but after not having it for so long, the feeling was more intense than she remembered. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head, her body shook, and she dug her teeth into his skin even harder to keep from screaming so loud that the people in the next state over could hear her.

She bit him so hard that she drew blood, but she was so far into her orgasm that she didn't even care. As the blood trickled into her mouth, she drank it. And that nearly made Damon lose his senses. He sped up his pace until he was pounding into her body while at the same time drinking her blood. He wished he could see how they looked, drinking from each other like some kind of incredibly intimate two-person cipher. Her blood was sweet and hot in his mouth and all of it together made him come harder and longer than he ever had before. His body seized when he emptied himself inside her.

After he came down from his high, he slowly pulled his teeth out of her skin, but he groaned when he felt Bonnie still sucking at his neck. He let her do it long enough to heal the gaping wound in her neck from his overzealous feeding, and when he pulled away and looked at her, he was overcome by the sight of her. Her hair was mussed, eyeliner a little smudged, and her teeth and lips were stained with his blood. He couldn't recall a sexier sight in his entire life. She licked her lips and had the nerve to say, "I should go."

"You're not going anywhere," he told her, and his tone dared her to say otherwise.

"This doesn't change anything between us."

He wanted to tell her how absolutely stupid she was being, but he didn't have the energy to fight with her.

"Fine. Then you can leave in the morning." He grabbed her wrists and pinned her arms above her head and brushed his lips over hers. "But if tonight is my last night with you, I'm gonna make it worth my while. All night. And if you still want to leave when it's over, I won't stop you. Deal?"

Bonnie knew very well that she should have pushed him off of her, put her clothes on and gotten the hell out of his room and his house. But she didn't do any of that because she was still in love with him and he'd screwed her damn near senseless. So despite her better judgment, she craned her neck up and sucked his bottom lip into her mouth and said, "deal."

For the rest of the night, they made intense, deep love to each other punctuated with bloodsharing-induced orgasms. When the morning came and Bonnie crept out of bed, Damon kept his word and let her go. He stayed in the bed and watched her while she put her clothes on. He didn't say a word when she looked over her shoulder at him and they held each other's gaze. Her look told him that it was over, even though she didn't want it to be. So she left, and he let her.

Little did either of them know that she wasn't leaving alone.


	23. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

When Bonnie awoke after her night with Damon, her whole body was alive. Her skin tingled and every crease and pore ached from a pleasure overdose. The previous night had been the most intense, insane thing she had ever experienced. After that first session of sex, they went at it all night, and it wasn't like they even did anything that adventurous. In fact, most of that time was spent in the missionary position. But it wasn't the position that made it so good. It was the way Damon touched her, stared into her eyes, and sank into her wetness slowly and purposefully. And the blood sharing.

Bonnie almost moaned just thinking about it.

She had never entertained the idea of biting Damon or drinking his blood during sex. But when she did it by accident, it was a mistake she wished she had made a long time ago. In the heat of the moment, his blood tasted like honey to her. When he bit her and they drank from each other at the same time...ecstasy wasn't the way to describe it. It was otherwordly, more magical than anything she had ever felt before. It was like she could feel every part of him at once. And every time she drank from him afterwards, it only got better and deeper. The need to taste him was almost overwhelming.

After they finally wore each other out, she fell asleep in his arms. When she opened her eyes in the morning, she could feel him staring and every part of her wanted to grab his face and kiss him and spend the rest of the day and every day after that in his bed. But she forced herself to remember why they were breaking up in the first place, and she somehow found a way to slip out of his grasp. She kept her back to him while she scrounged around the floor for her clothes. Her dress was ripped in half, so she looked through his drawers for something to wear. She put on a black T-shirt and some of Damon's shorts and gathered her ruined dress in her arms.

She wanted to leave, but his gaze was burning a hole through her back. Despite her better judgment, she turned around and looked at him. And fuck, did he look amazing. He was resting against his pillows, with his black hair out of his place and his ridiculous eyes penetrating her to the core. He didn't say a word but the expression on his face was telling her to come hither. She almost did it. She really did. She even took a step towards him. She practically salivated with how badly she wanted him, and how much she wanted to dig her teeth into her neck and taste his blood again.

But she didn't. She got control of her senses and then hurried out of the room before he could tempt her any more. She hustled to the bedroom where she'd left her things and she made quick work of packing her bags and changing into her own clothes. She grabbed the overnight bag and nearly ran downstairs for fear of Damon coming out to corner her, because if he tried to stop her even a little bit, she wouldn't be able to fight him off. She was so much into her own head that she almost forgot that there were other people in the house. She stopped in her tracks when she went to the kitchen and found Stefan and Caroline there. Stefan was drinking out of a mug and Caroline was in the middle of an animated sentence, but she stopped abruptly and raised an eyebrow at Bonnie.

Bonnie swallowed. There was probably nothing she wanted to do less than answer to Caroline about the naughty things she'd done with Damon all night.

"Good morning, Bonnie," Stefan said with a smile. "Would you like some breakfast?"

Her eyes bounced to Caroline, who had formed a smirk on her lips.

"Uhhh, I think I'm just gonna go."

She hightailed it out of there and back to Grams's house before anyone would ask her questions. Once she was safely inside, she rested against the closed door for a moment and took a deep breath. Her heart was racing and her body buzzed. She decided that a good shower would calm her down, so she shed her clothes and drew herself a bubble bath. She sank inside the steaming hot water and tried to think of anything but Damon. She actually had real-life things to worry about, like the fact that she was graduating at the end of the semester and she had no plans for what she was going to do with her life.

She was just getting out of the tub when her doorbell rang, and her heart leapt into her throat. She prayed that it wasn't Damon almost as much as she prayed that it was. She threw some clothes on and went down to the door, but when she opened it, it was Caroline.

"If you think you're going to spend an entire night fucking Damon's brains out and then not tell me about it, you're wrong," the blonde announced as she sauntered inside.

"Can we talk about this later, Care?" Bonnie groaned.

"Absolutely not."

Bonnie dragged herself to the kitchen, where Caroline was pouring them both a glass of wine. She handed one to Bonnie and hopped onto the counter.

"Go," she directed.

Bonnie knew trying not to share was entirely pointless, so she gulped down her wine in four chugs and sat on the opposite counter.

"When I went up there to talk to him, it was obviously not to have sex."

"Obviously."

"But he compelled Lance to forget me and I had to address that with him."

"He did what?"

Bonnie waved her hand like that wasn't even the important part. "So I confronted him and we both yelled and was I about to leave. The next thing I knew, he was standing behind me, breathing on me and saying stuff he shouldn't have been saying, and then we were tearing each other's clothes off."

"Uh-huh," Caroline said with big, interested eyes.

"And...I don't know," she said with a shrug. "We just went at it. It was crazy. And it's like we couldn't stop."

Caroline waited for me and when it didn't come, she frowned.

"Seriously? That's all you have to say? You just "went at it"? You were banging him all night! And look at you now. You're practically glowing."

"I am not."

"Oh, no, trust me. You are. It's like you put Christmas lights under your skin or something."

Bonnie looked at her arm and noticed that it did look a little...shiny...or something. But she shook her head and shrugged.

"Maybe this is just how I look after I've had amazing sex."

"You and Damon had amazing sex all the time when you were together and you never looked like this. There has to be more to it."

She didn't know why she was hesitant to tell Caroline about the blood-sharing. She supposed that somewhere in the back of her mind, she was afraid that in vampire-speak, blood-sharing was as good as a marriage proposal.

"We might have...you know..." Bonnie made a gesture with her hands but Caroline stared blankly.

"No, I don't know. You'll have to explain."

She looked away, feeling embarrassed for some reason, but after Caroline kept pressing, she finally told her.

"We were kind of drinking from each other."

Caroline's eyes got big. "You were what?!"

"See! This is why I didn't want to tell you. You'll make it a big deal."

"It is a big deal! You were blood-sharing with Damon? Oh my God, have you ever done that before?"

"No," she said, and she felt her cheeks burning.

"Then why the hell did you do it when you were breaking up with him?"

"I don't know, Care," she groaned. "It just kind of happened the first time because believe it or not, I didn't actually want all of Mystic Falls hearing me scream like I was getting the pounding of my life."

"Well, just to let you know, mission failed on that one."

Bonnie sighed. "It happened and it was good, so it just kept happening every time we did it." She looked at Caroline with concerned eyes. "I'm not, like, betrothed to him now, am I?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Well you got all freaked out when I said we were drinking from each other. Does that mean something that I don't know about? Does a vampire sharing blood with a witch during sex bond them together forever or something?"

"No idea."

"Then why'd you make that face?"

"Because even if it doesn't make you his bride, it's still really intimate. Like the most intimate thing a vampire could do. And I've never heard of a vampire doing it with someone who wasn't one. And definitely not a witch."

Bonnie groaned and pressed her head to the side of the fridge. "I just want to sleep," she said. "Can you berate me later?"

"No berating," Caroline said, as she held up her hands in surrender. "I only wanted to make sure you were okay. And that you're not getting back with him just because he put it down on you."

"No, definitely not going back to him."

Her voice wasn't as strong as she would have liked, and Caroline looked unconvinced. Still, the blonde hopped off the counter and patted Bonnie on the knee.

"Call me later."

Bonnie promised that she would, but she was happy to have a little time to herself. And it stayed that way for the next couple of days. Caroline came over and they hung out during the day, and when Caroline went back to the boardinghouse to be with Stefan, Bonnie stayed behind. She managed not to go to Damon or call or text him, even though it physically pained her not to. Her hands itched to dial his number, but she held back. She couldn't understand why she wanted him so much, why she craved him, but she chalked it up to missing him and his incredible lovemaking.

During her time alone, she did notice some other things about herself. She noticed how she barely had to think of something before her magic made it happen. It was little things at first: the bathtub filling up on its own, doors opening without her having to touch them, the dishes magically being cleaned. But then there were bigger things. Like how after she woke up from an intense dream about Damon, everything in the house was floating. Or how at the slightest feeling of sadness, the skies opened up and rain poured down like a tsunami.

Then there was her appearance. Just as Caroline told her, her skin was almost glowing. It was radiant. Flawless. And her eyes were so bright that it looked like someone had taken a neon green highlighter to them. Her hair was luscious and thick and styled just how she wanted it when she woke up, with no additional work from her.

It was...bizarre. Good bizarre, but bizarre nonetheless.

And people noticed. After she and Caroline were back in school, Bonnie noticed that everywhere she went, people stopped what they were doing to stare at her. Men and women alike seemed suspended in time when she walked by, with their mouths open in disbelief. She almost felt like she was floating, too. She couldn't see herself but she could tell that she was moving gracefully, effortlessly.

Caroline had been nice enough not to question what was going on, but Bonnie was sure that she was curious, too. Neither of them said anything until one morning when the conversation became unavoidable. Bonnie was rummaging through all the kitchen cabinets and the fridge in search of something to eat. Even though the apartment with stocked with all her favorite foods, she just didn't want any of it. She turned her nose up at the Pop-Tarts and the thought of eggs and pancakes made her stomach roll. Her eyes landed on the pot of coffee that Caroline had made, and she decided to settle for that.

She poured herself a mug and took a whiff. Her eyes fluttered closed at the enticing smell of it, and then she took a tentative sip. She moaned loudly as the coffee hit her tongue and the flavor of it exploded in her mouth. It was the best thing she had tasted in weeks, and before she knew it, she had chugged the whole mug and was pouring another. She didn't realize that she'd drunk it all until Caroline came into the kitchen.

"Hey, Bon, have you seen my..."

The blonde stopped short and Bonnie sheepishly put her mug down and wiped her mouth.

"Uh...did you just drink all of that?" Caroline asked.

"I'm sorry, Care. I didn't realize I was doing it. But that was amazing. Everything I've eaten lately has tasted like shit and that was just...wow. What did you put in here? Some kind of French vanilla creamer or something?"

Caroline looked from her friend to the coffee pot, and then she said, "I put blood in it."

Bonnie's eyes widened and even though she wanted to feel sick and rush to the bathroom and vomit all of the coffee into the toilet, her body wasn't unsettled at all. For the first time in several days, actually, she felt really satisfied. And that scared the shit out of her.

"Oh my God," she said quietly. She looked at her skin and touched her eyes and then asked Caroline, "am I turning into a vampire?"

Caroline's shoulders sagged with relief and she started talking too fast.

"I haven't wanted to say anything because I knew you'd freak out but oh my God, I think you might be. I mean, look at you! You look like some kind of freaking magic goddess! Everywhere we go it seems like you're hypnotizing people and you're not even trying! What the hell is going on?!"

Panic settled into Bonnie's bones and she started pacing.

"Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God, Caroline!" she shrieked. She felt her eyes light up even more and she asked, "is this because of the blood-sharing? How can this be happening? I didn't die!"

She followed Caroline's big eyes and slowly realized that everything in the kitchen, even the things that had been bolted down, was floating.

"Bon, calm down," Caroline said slowly.

"Calm down!? I'm a vampire! I'd rather be dead!"

A wind picked up in the room and actually knocked Caroline into a wall. That snapped Bonnie out of her rage and she ran to her friend and helped her up.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she said repeatedly.

"It's okay. It's fine. You just need to calm down and we need to think."

Bonnie's mind whirred and the only thing she could think was that she had to find a way to change whatever was happening to her. Her mind immediately went to her mother, the only former witch and current vampire she knew. Maybe Abby would have an answer. She hurried back to her room and called Abby, but she got the voicemail.

"Abby," she said, "...Mom. It's me, Bonnie. Look, something's happening to me and I really need to talk to you. As soon as possible. Call me."

No sooner did she hang up did the most vicious wave of nausea she'd ever felt hit her, and she fell to her knees. She covered her mouth to keep from spewing vomit everywhere, and she managed to pick herself up and run to the bathroom before every ounce of her stomach contents flew into the toilet. She was retching so loudly that Caroline came running in, and she grabbed Bonnie's hair and held it back while the witch vomited what felt like everything she'd ever eaten. When there was nothing left to throw up, she heaved loudly and painfully.

"Oh my God, Bonnie, what is happening to you?" Caroline asked quietly.

Bonnie was so weak when the vomiting spell ended that Caroline had to carry her to the bed, and she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. As good as she'd looked before, that was how bad she looked right then. Her hair was dry and brittle, her eyes were dull and her face looked haggard. Caroline placed her on her bed and her body broke into a sweat and she simultaneously felt hot and cold.

"I'm dying," she managed to say while her body shook on the bed.

She couldn't see Caroline but she could tell from her friend's tone when she said, "I don't know what to do!" that she was worried. Really, really worried. Bonnie couldn't formulate a coherent thought enough to give any advice, and then she passed out. When she woke up again, her vision was hazy and she was drenched in sweat. She fell in and out of consciousness and every now time she woke, there was someone different at her bedside. Caroline. Stefan. Abby.

And then the last time she came to, the person staring down at her was Damon. She fought through her pain and extreme sleepiness long enough to try to grab his hand. He did it for her and rubbed her skin. He was talking, although she was too out of it to know what he was saying. She caught bits and pieces: apologies for everything, he was going to fix it, don't die. Please don't die. She tried to keep up by reading his lips but her eyes fell to his neck. A deep, overwhelming hunger consumed her and as soon as she realized that she wanted his blood, her gums throbbed and fangs began to descend, bursting through her tissue like a hot knife.

"Augh!" she screamed.

Damon reached down and she thought he was asking what was wrong, but all she could hear was the throbbing in her own ears. When he got close enough, she reached up and grabbed him by the neck. She pulled him down, even though he was fighting back. Even in her state, she easily overpowered him. She didn't say anything when she sank her new fangs into his neck and drank like a dying woman in the desert.

She could feel the life flowing back into her. With every gulp of blood, she felt better. Stronger. More alive. She drank until she was full and then she tossed him off of her, which sent him flying across the room. His head made a hole in the wall and once she had her wits about her again, she went to him and helped him up.

"I'm so sorry," she said. "I don't know what's going on with me."

Damon didn't answer, though. He just stared at her, like he was possessed.

"You look..."

He didn't finish his thought because Stefan came into the room.

"Bonnie," he started, and then he looked entranced just like Damon had. Bonnie knew that she must have been glowing again but before she could respond, Damon's face vamped out and he bared his fangs at Stefan.

"Leave," he growled. And he sounded more animalistic than Bonnie had ever heard him.

"What are you talking about?" Stefan asked.

Damon's response was to attack him. He jumped on his brother and punched him in the face one, twice, three times until Stefan's nose was bleeding.

"Damon!" Bonnie screamed.

Caroline ran into the room and saw what was happening and when she tried to come to Bonnie's side, Damon turned his attention on her and growled.

"Get away from her!" he shouted.

Caroline held her hands up and backed away slowly. Bonnie had no idea what was going on or what the hell was wrong with Damon, but something told her that she could calm him. She touched his shoulder and when he looked at her, she said, "sleep." He dropped to sleep right there on the floor. Then Bonnie helped Stefan up and she, Stefan and Caroline went to the living room, where Abby was pacing.

"Mom," she said. She ran to her and hugged her closely, and then Abby pulled away and looked at her daughter.

"Oh my God," she whispered.

"I don't know what's happening to me," Bonnie said with fear in her voice. "I look so different and I feel different. I got really sick earlier and just now Damon attacked Stefan for no reason and almost attacked Caroline."

Abby nodded slowly.

"He was protecting you," she said.

"From Stefan?"

"Yeah, from me?" Stefan asked. "I would never hurt Bonnie."

"Logically, I'm sure he knows that. But in this state, he's not thinking."

Bonnie frowned. "In this state? What are you talking about?"

Abby hesitated and then said, "a male vampire will attack anyone that gets too close to close to his mate."

Bonnie's eyes widened. "His mate? Seriously, what the hell are you talking about? Since when am I his mate?"

Abby's eyes wondered to Bonnie's stomach, and then back up.

"Since you got pregnant with his child."


End file.
